


Love Isn't Always on Time

by softfonds



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, M/M, Made of Honor AU, Misunderstandings, Model Louis, Model Zayn, Mutual Pining, Photographer Niall, Professor Harry, Romantic Comedy, Smut, Stylist Liam, Weddings, so much mutual pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-08-10 20:03:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 45,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20141188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softfonds/pseuds/softfonds
Summary: Falling in love with your best friend sounds like a good idea, until he comes back from a work trip engaged to another man. A Made of Honor AU.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Italiano available: [Love Isn't Always on Time||ITALIAN TRANSLATION||LARRY](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24965674) by [Miri_reader](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miri_reader/pseuds/Miri_reader)

> Happy birthday, Miriam!! Enjoy the fic you helped cheer lead while giving me horribly good ideas for :) and special thanks to Gloria for betaing!
> 
> Title comes from "Hold the Line" by Toto. Inspired by the 2008 movie "Made of Honor".

_ _

_“If you want my body, and you think I’m sexy, come on sugar tell me so,”_ Harry sang along, carefully flicking his paint brush. The song went into the rap solo he couldn’t possibly keep up with. Unless he wanted to fuck up the balls of Midas.

He had spent months replicating Poussin’s masterpiece, and, as many people have told him before, multi-tasking wasn’t exactly his strong suit, so he’d rather let N-Trance take on the rap bits while he stuck to the Rob Stewart parts.

_“If you really need me, just reach out and touch me, come on honey tell me so,”_ he hummed along, bopping his head slightly with his lips pouted in concentration. Watching the way the paint brush glided in his hand across the porous canvas just calmed him in ways yoga never could. And, the _Night at the Roxbury_ soundtrack worked wonders as well.

“Well,” came a voice behind him. “I do think you’re sexy, but I’m not too sure if you’ll want me on your body.”

Harry could hardly contain his smile as he took off his magnifying goggles and hurried to pause his playlist, arms flailing in the air as he did so. “Louis!” he squealed in delight, turning around.

And sure enough, his best friend was standing right behind him, looking dashing as ever with a cup of coffee in each hand, wearing something that had to be the latest in the fashion world, if Harry had to guess. He was wearing an all black tracksuit ensemble, complete with a turtleneck and white crew socks that covered his ankles. Whatever it was, he was working it. And of course, he was grinning, making the crinkles of his eyes stand out. And in Harry’s gay humble opinion, they were his best feature. Besides the rest of him, of course. But after a few drinks, there wasn’t a moment that drunk Harry ever wasted by telling him that. It just came with the friendship.

“Will you ever not listen to that bloody soundtrack?” Louis giggled, pulling up a wooden chair as he balanced the two stacked cups in one hand.

“Nope,” Harry smiled sweetly, untying his smock and turning back to face him. “90’s synth pop helps me work faster, and I need all the help I can get if I’m going to finish duplicating Midas’ cock before the fundraiser.”

“You and your penis love,” Louis chuckled as he eyed the original. “I’m surprised you haven’t stolen this and put it in your flat to hang.”

Harry’s shoulders slumped forward slightly. “James already told the security guards I’m never allowed to take anything home. But,” he perked up, brushing away some of the curls that came loose from his bun. “They’ll give me a high quality print to take home once my own gets auctioned off.”

“Perfect,” Louis smiled as he handed him a cup, the warmth seeping through his hands. “Got your favorite.”

“Thank you,” the younger man smiled as he took a deep inhale of the steam. Louis preferred tea during his mornings but made a special exception for Harry when he asked for his favorite coffee order. Which really was special, considering Louis usually told Niall or the others to order something themselves when they asked for Louis to bring them something. And Harry was all for getting special treatment from his best friend.

“Nice nail color too,” Louis said as he eyed Harry’s fingertips. “Matches your style really well.”

Given that he was an artist and working with different paints all day, Harry preferred to keep his nails short with ever changing colors. This week’s nail color happened to be a deep mustard shade, and Harry personally liked how nice it fit with most of his autumn looks. But if he did match, it wasn’t on purpose. Louis was all about matching though, given that he did have excellent taste in clothing, so to have his approval always brought a warmth to his chest.

Harry wiggled his fingers in response, admiring the color as he did. “Thanks, Lou,” he preened.

“You’re welcome, curly,” Louis said as he took a sip of his tea, looking around the room at the other artworks.

“You’re here earlier than usual,” Harry remarked, staring at him over the rim of his cup as the steam began to fog his glasses. Not that he really minded.

It was a cool late September day, and Sunday to be precise. Sundays were _their_ days. Harry was busy during the weekdays at the museum, either doing restorations or working on other projects, while Louis ruled the modeling world from London. He didn’t necessarily like to be called a supermodel, but that’s what he basically was, especially when Forbes reported how much he made in a year. He was either at photoshoots, meetings with his manager, getting calls from magazines that wanted to feature him, anything that came with being one of the top male models of the world. Saturdays had a possibility of getting together, but sometimes Harry had to work or Louis was out getting laid. Priorities were always at play.

So, Sundays were their day for sure. Harry would come in to work in the mornings, Louis would escape his latest hookup, and they’d spend the day together. Getting lunch, going shopping and usually ending up snuggling on the couch watching a movie, which was usually a musical.

Louis shrugged. “I had to get away from that bloke’s bed! He wanted to meet up again tonight, even though I told him about my rule before we went back to his place.”

“Ah yes,” Harry giggled as he took another sip. “Your infamous ‘No sleeping with the same person twice’ rule. How could others not possibly understand that from a man who doesn’t like commitment?”

Louis’ rule had been in place for as long as Harry had known him.

“Exactly!” Louis exhaled, leaning back in the chair. “See, this is why you’re my best friend. You get me like no other person on this planet. Well, besides my mum.”

And it was true. Ever since Louis accidently climbed into Harry’s bed that one night during his first year of King’s College, and after some off hand introductions once Louis washed his eyes from the perfume Harry sprayed in his eyes out of fear, they were inseparable.

Even when Louis graduated first, they saw each other every week in between Harry’s classes as the oldest of the pair got in some local photo shoots. They’d still go try a new restaurant, order their meal, converse on what was new in the week, spending hours just sitting there and catching up. And if they didn’t spend the day together, they were attached to their phones, texting away as they talked to each other every day.

And even when Louis’ modeling career took off and he was being featured in Vogue, they remained the best of friends. Harry, on the other hand, went on to further his study of art, much to his best friend’s encouragement. And well, it paid off.

Louis was at his graduation a few years later, Harry having earned his PHD in Art History and Preservation, cheering the loudest next to Harry’s mum and sister as Harry walked across the stage. He’ll never forget how proud Louis was of him that day, holding him in a tight hug and proceeded to parade him around, claiming his best friend was a doctor and Harry hastily having to correct him in front of strangers.

And now, ten years since they first met in Harry’s bed, they continued their friendship through relationships, jobs, anything that life threw at them.

Well, relationships on Harry’s end. Louis had no interest in settling down or even having a steady boyfriend. He preferred one night stands, as he once declared early on in their friendship, which were in no short supply once people recognized him as he got more famous. But if he wasn’t out there getting laid, Harry knew he was working or simply attached to his phone, talking to a mix between his mum, his sisters, or Harry. Louis liked his freedom, to be frank.

Harry on the other hand had one long relationship after another, hoping to find The One, Prince Charming, Mr. Darcy, etc but still ended up with a broken heart. He had dated in college, boyfriend after boyfriend after none of them worked out in the long run. Louis was his constant, though, telling him one day a man was going to be lucky enough to have him as Harry cried through a box of tissues.

His longest boyfriend, William, had stayed for four years, especially through the grueling nights of his thesis work, until Harry found him in bed with his dog walker. Needless to say, that was one of the biggest heartbreaks of his life. But Louis was always there to comfort him, threatening to send William some laxative brownies much to Harry’s giggles, and for that he was thankful.

And it felt nice to know someone for so long. He still remembers how bright eyed and youthful Louis looked when they first met, a twink with a glance that could turn any man’s legs into jelly, ready to rule the world. But Louis aged like fine wine, his features becoming ever so strong as he did. His blue eyes haven’t dimmed at all as they matured, and now his hair had a few more silver strands pushing through his feathery soft hair. He refused to dye them of course, and Harry couldn’t be more glad. He liked him just the way he was.

Even if the world imploded, he knew he’d still find Louis right next to him. It was just the way of their world.

“What was his name this time?” Harry asked as he took another sip, getting back to reality.

Louis scrunched his nose in thought. “Michael? No. Matthew? Something of that nature. I know it started with an M.”

Harry sighed. Even though Louis couldn’t be bothered to remember the name of his hookups, Harry hoped to at least learn them in passing. At least someone ought to remember who they were. “You could at least learn their names, Lou.”

“No need to when I’m never going to see them again,” the older man said with a shrug, getting up from his chair.

“And what if you find someone you’d want to see more than once?” Harry asked. Being the romantic that he was, he knew it wasn’t totally out of the realm of possibilities that Louis could come to care for a one night stand, despite his protests. “If you don’t have their names or numbers, you’ll miss your chance.”

“I’ll immediately call you if I do because we both know that person will never exist for me,” he said before bending down to peck Harry’s nose. “Now stop trying to convince me otherwise and let’s get a move on! It’s Sunday, Dr. Styles, and I’ve been aching for some sweets all week.”

No matter how many times he told Louis not to call him that, it still made Harry blush to hear him say it. Especially when coupled with the nose kisses he was used to getting from him. Despite their status as best friends and nothing more, Harry loved how affectionate Louis could get with him, even if he didn’t want to admit how much he liked it.

Harry giggled as he pretended to wipe his nose, noticing how his glasses fogged up again after being so close to Louis. “Okay, _sir_. Let me clean up and we’ll go.”

“That’s more like it,” Louis grinned, throwing his cup away in the nearest recycle bin as Harry went to fetch his messenger bag.

*

After picking up a few things in his office while Louis called an uber, they both walked out of the museum together once the car came. Since it was Sunday, it was time for their weekly date to their favorite bakery in Covent Garden. And it was their favorite for good sense, since there was a line to get in every time they went. Not that Harry minded though, since they always found a way to spend their wait.

“So what should I get this time?” Louis asked as they shuffled slowly to the front.

“Hm,” Harry thought. “Strawberry tart?”

Louis wrinkled his nose. “Not feeling that today.”

Harry tried not to roll his eyes, considering how that was one of Louis’ favorites on any other day. But he’d let him be a brat about it.

“Blackberry tart?”

“Honestly, Haz, do you even know me?”

“Rhubarb and orange blossom tart?”

And that's what brought the bright smile he adored. “That’s more like it,” Louis grinned. “What are you getting then?”

He thought for a moment, haven’t bothered to consider his own order as they inched closer to the counter. “I think I’ll get a slice of pumpkin pie."

Louis wrinkled his nose again, just as Harry knew he would. "What is it with you and that horrid pie?"

“You can shit on it all you like,” Harry giggled as he nudged his elbow against the other man’s arm. “But it’s not _that_ bad.”

If Louis was going abroad somewhere for a few days, Harry would usually tag along if he was able to get off work. He’s found himself in Los Angeles, Madrid, Rome, Lisbon, any major city accessible by plane. One year they found themselves in New York City during the Thanksgiving celebrations, and even though they tried to get out of it (mainly because they didn’t want to intrude so suddenly), they spent the holiday with the family of Louis’ manager. And that’s when Harry got his first taste of pumpkin pie. One bite was all it took, and Harry had never been the same since. He was hooked.

Naturally, they had to find a bakery that served pumpkin pie in London once they got back, much to Louis’ chagrin.

“It is bad,” Louis huffed. “You usually have good taste in everything, Haz, but certainly not when it comes to that pie. How am I supposed to steal bites off of yours if you order that?”

Ever since they started their bakery dates, they decided it wasn’t a problem if the other took bites out of their plates. It didn’t matter how much they liked what they ordered for themselves; it was just natural that the other had to take a bite of what they ordered. Sharing was caring right? “I have good taste in everything,” Harry chuckled, tapping the other man’s cheek with a pointed finger, “including my best friend. I’ll just order a slice of chocolate cake so you’re not put off.”

“Thank you,” Louis grinned, Harry leaning into his arm.

Half an hour passed until they made it inside the shop and placed their order, Harry rushing to grab a table that was tucked in a corner away from the noise. Louis came over with their plates, placing the other man’s piece of pie and cake in front of him.

“So what’s your week looking like?” Harry asked through a mouthful, glancing at the people who walked by their large window.

“I have some meetings with Adidas on Tuesday,” Louis answered, forking through his tart. “And Burberry wants to do some shoots as well after last year’s holiday campaign went stellar.”

Harry buys all the magazines Louis is featured in, whether he's in a corner of the page or in a centerfold. And the Burberry campaign was one of his favorites, given the looks Louis pulled off in them. He could make any camera bow to him, having the modeling grace of a stare down that made your insides melt. At least, that’s what fans of Louis said. Not that Harry secretly had a fan account to follow what they say.

“Really? That’s great, Lou! Are you walking in any shows this season?” he asked, taking a bite of the pumpkin pie slice. He remembered some articles generating buzz about who was going to walk during certain Fashion Weeks, and of course Louis’ name was mentioned all around.

“I’m walking for Burberry next week and Alessandro has been asking me to walk for a special Gucci show here in London, which is in about a month or so. I’m still deciding whether to do it or not.”

“That’s amazing,” Harry grinned, already planning his own outfit as a guest. This wasn’t Louis’ first time walking a show. Hell, it was probably his fiftieth time. But it didn’t make it any less special in his mind, no matter what Louis said. Harry would still be cheering him on from backstage or watching a livestream of the show if he was working at the museum. “I’ll try to be there for both.”

“Like I’ve told you a billion times,” Louis chuckled, “you don’t have to, Haz.”

“And like I’ve told you a billion times,” Harry said as he pointed his fork at him, “I’m going and that’s that.”

All that earned him was Louis sticking his tongue out at him, and Harry, being the complete twenty eight year old adult he is, stuck his own tongue out even farther.

“Real mature,” Louis giggled, shaking his head in the process. "I guess I can’t stop you from going. Considering how you almost got arrested getting into the Milan show.”

Ah. Versace, Milan, 2015. Louis thought it was completely hilarious to write Harry’s name as “Harry Potter” on his guest list. Combine that with a stubborn security guard that clearly didn’t understand Louis’ sense of humor or that Harry’s ID matched the printed picture on the list or the hundreds of pictures of proof Harry tried to show that he was indeed Louis’ best friend made that a night he couldn’t really forget. Especially considering how he ended up getting chased by security guards once he managed to slip inside. Luckily, he did manage to find Louis before he had to walk the runway and proceeded to hide behind him as Louis explained to security that he was in fact allowed back there.

There may have been some faces made as the security guards walked away, possibly a tongue out of Harry’s mouth yet again, but there wasn’t any proof of that.

“You’re right,” he smiled, “so there’s no point in stopping me. I support your career, you support mine; it’s just the nature of the world.”

“Very much so,” Louis chuckled. “Speaking of which, how is work going? Anything else going on besides that painting you’re replicating?”

Harry thought for a moment, going over his week. Nothing newsworthy happened that much at the museum, especially when his weeks were spent painting a replica of a masterpiece. Well, there was some news.

“Actually,” he coughed, leaning over to take a forkful of Louis’ dessert for his own. “I’ve been chosen to go study art in Florence for a week.”

“Really?” Louis grinned as he did the same, stealing a piece of chocolate cake instead and moaning after taking a bite. “Uh you always do order better than me. But that’s amazing, Haz! By yourself or is someone else going with you?”

“Dr. Pinnock is going with me as well,” he smiled. “And she’s uber excited since she gets to take her fiancé along with her for a ‘romantic holiday’ and such. We technically don’t even have to study. Just attend one lecture during the five day stay, and we’re free to do whatever we like for the rest of the days. Then I just have to write a short paper on it when I get back,” he sighed as he played around with a piece of crust from the pumpkin pie, “would be nice to share it with a partner though.”

“So you’re sad you don’t have a boyfriend to take along?” Louis asked carefully.

Harry shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “It’s not that I don’t mind being single, but I wouldn’t mind having someone to share this with. Most of my colleagues are married, and here I am with not even a boyfriend.”

“Hey,” Louis warned, lowering his face to meet Harry’s eye level. “Stop that. You know you’re a catch, and one day someone worth your bite is going to fish you out from that pond. Up to you if you want to wait around in a pool of misery.”

He was right of course. There was no use in sulking while his soulmate tried to find him, but he couldn’t help feeling a bit helpless once in a while. “Or I can just evolve some legs and walk out to find my own man,” he retorted. He couldn’t allow Louis to win that easily.

Louis playfully rolled his eyes. “You’re too much. Just wait for the right man to find you, Haz.”

But he was tired of waiting. He’d be turning 30 before he knew it, and probably slip into his 40s ringless as well. And he wanted to have his children already, start that family that he’d been wishing for since he was sixteen. But it was worth waiting for the right man to do that with; he just wished he would show up sooner than later.

“You’re right,” he sighed, a small smile on his face. “I’m just being pathetic. My Prince Charming will come someday.”

“Exactly,” Louis grinned. “And hopefully he has a loose brother that I can get a shag with.”

Harry wadded up a napkin and threw it at him, both of them laughing. Once they finished their plates, Louis was already grabbing Harry’s messenger bag before Harry could take their dishes back to the counter.

“Come on,” Louis said as he got up. “We’re going to be late meeting the boys, and I’ve got some things to pick up before we get there.”

And as usual, Harry could only smile and follow along.

*

After spending the day window shopping in Camden, Harry buying himself a new scarf for his collection, Louis buying himself some new trainers, they took an uber to their favorite pub to have a lads night with their friends.

It was late in the evening, the sunset creating a warm glow along the streets, so the pub was just beginning to fill when they arrived. They walked towards their designated table, already seeing Liam and Zayn sitting at it with pints in their hands and sharing an ice cream bowl between them. With a slight frown, Harry looked around the room until he found Niall, who was just standing by the bar chatting with the new bartender.

“Hey! If it isn’t my two favorite people: the serial monogamist and the serial dater,” Liam cheered. He was sporting a longer cut of hair now, gelled back to keep his fringe off of his warm brown eyes. Pair that with chic glasses, a soft tan jumper he had on, and a wine-colored scarf going around his neck, he looked like he walked out of a GQ advert. Well, considering where we worked though, it was only natural he looked like that.

Harry frowned at the monikers but softened his look once he saw Louis laughing too. Liam made them take a Cosmopolitan quiz a few years ago and dubbed them with those nicknames once their results came back. They didn’t care for them at first, but over time Harry got used to them as Louis did the same. There was some truth to it, after all.

“What better pair of friends,” Zayn chuckled. He was wearing a maroon knitted jumper, which made Harry think he was trying to match with Liam in a subtle way. His hair had blonde streaks near the tips of it, showing off his neatly pierced ears. And as he spoke, Harry noticed the glimmer of his tongue piercing. It was new, which Liam never got tired of telling everyone once he got through a few drinks. Sober Liam might blush when someone mentions a simple sex joke, but drunk Liam was never too shy to dish on how good their sex life was to whoever would listen. Which only made Harry wonder if he’ll ever have good enough sex that he’d brag about it whenever he could. “We were wondering when both of you would show up here. Liam was just telling me some juicy gossip about some pop star he had to dress.”

“Ohhh,” Louis cooed as he let Harry slide in first in the booth. “Do tell.”

Liam worked as a style specialist for Hugo Boss and built up a reputation among celebrities for having impeccable taste when it came to dressing them. So much so that people would often approach his fiancé, Zayn, for ways to get on his list.

Zayn was a model in his own right, a super model really, usually gracing the latest Yves Saint Laurent campaigns. Sometimes he would be featured in the same spreads as Louis, typically when it came to the athleisure lines Givenchy wanted them for. But their work mostly ran in different circles, remaining friends non the less after meeting through Liam back in uni.

At least that’s what Louis’ fan account said. Not that Harry knew anything about it.

Zayn waved Niall over, who no doubt wanted to hear every bit of gossip available, before Liam started his story.

“This girl,” Liam began, “well- I shouldn’t even say girl since this woman is in her thirties now, literally thinks she’s in the second coming of Christ in American pop star form. Late for her fitting, which threw off my entire schedule,” he huffed, “pretending she gives a shit about charities for some promo but once the cameras were off she could care less about the orphans, flipping her red hair in every direction trying to hit someone as she tried to leave the set early.”

Harry wrinkled his nose as he listened. “That doesn’t sound appealing at all.”

“And despite this massive ring on my finger,” Liam said as he lifted his hand up, flaunting the diamond ring Zayn proposed with that last winter, “she still had the audacity to flirt with me! Even if for some reason Zayn didn’t make it to this lifetime and I was currently single, there wouldn’t be a nerve in me attracted to her,” he said with a gag.

“As if you’d ever cheat on me,” Zayn leaned over with a kiss to his cheek.

“Never,” Liam replied softly, putting an arm around his shoulder as he pulled him in closer. Harry could only stare in envy as he watched them. Not that he didn’t want his good friends being so openly in love, but it only reminded him of the yearning he had for that. The feeling of having your life set with the person you plan to stay with forever, and looking so utterly in love while doing the most mundane things. He wanted the Zayn to his Liam, Mr. Darcy to his Lizzy, Crowley to his Aziraphale, Bert to his Ernie.

The familiar clinking of glasses brought him out of his self-pitying vision, looking over to see Louis staring at him with a puzzled expression.

“Still doesn’t beat the client I had today,” Niall said, taking a seat at the edge of the table. He was a photographer, working mostly for British GQ, with a studio as well in central London. But he never gave up a chance to announce how proud he was to be from Ireland, as if his pop socket with the Irish flag wasn’t enough to tell any stranger.

“Alright let’s hear this rant, lad,” Louis nodded.

“I had a person coming in at nine in the morning, arrived at almost ten,” the Irishman began with a sigh. “She’s some type of YouTube or Instagram – Vine? blogger, something on social media for sure. Anyways, she tried convincing me I was ‘model material’ and wanted me to be in one of her vlogs, blogs, whatever they’re called. I kept telling her no, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. She even had to audacity to ask if she could get a free photoshoot for featuring me on her page. It got to the point I had to make up an imaginary boyfriend and say since he doesn’t have social media, he wouldn’t be able to watch whatever she wanted me to do and I’ll ever do anything he can’t watch.”

“You didn’t,” Liam gasped. “Did she finally lay off?”

“Thinking I’m gay and taken must’ve, because she closed off after that. I don’t even know how she got my number to make an appointment in the first place, but remind me to never serve those types ever again.”

“Complete shit,” Louis said. “But it’s not like you’re not a catch, Niall.”

“Yeah,” Harry could only giggle. “It’s not as if you don’t have girls thirsting over your selfies on Instagram. You basically post… what’s that word called, Zayn? Where you’re basically asking for comments about how good you look in a picture?”

“Thirst trap?”

“Thirst trap!” he repeated with a grin, pointing a knowing finger at Niall. The Irishman liked to post shirtless photos now and then, or even photos that he deemed “sugar baby model” material. Not that he knew who Niall was getting into bed with these days, but he knew he had a thing for men taller than him. And judging by the comments Niall got on his pictures, he was definitely enjoying all the wet and eggplant emojis he got. Which is where Harry even learned of the term “thirst trap”.

“Is that what the kids call that these days?” Louis muttered. Being on twitter had Harry almost well versed in all kinds of slang and always willing to learn new ones, but Louis was dead set on learning none of it when given the chance.

“Look you two,” Zayn said as he pointed a spoon at them. “I get Harry here basically dressing like a grandmother with his cardigans, spectacles, and loafers all the time and likes to pretend it’s the 70s, but you” he directed his spoon to Louis, “are a high class model living in the digital age. Learn your slang.”

Harry looked down at his own clothes. He was wearing a knitted beige cardigan that he bought at a thrift shop a few weeks ago, loving the warmth it brought him in the cooler mornings. He accompanied the look with grey slacks and pink loafers that Louis had gifted him a few years ago after a shoot with Gucci, and sure the outfit wasn’t a perfect match coloring wise, but he long stopped giving a damn about what others thought about his looks. He really only cared for Louis’ approval anyways.

“Don’t want to and don’t care enough to,” Louis answered simply.

“He speaks for me too,” Harry replied as well with a nod.

“Of course,” Liam chuckled. “So how’s your nude painting going, Harry? Still working on it?”

Instead of replying, Louis answered instead as Harry munched on a chip. “He’s working on the balls now,” he grinned, making the younger man blush.

“Oh he’s going to stay on that for months then,” Niall snickered.

“Heyyy,” Harry pouted. “Midas isn’t even that hung to begin with.”

“Lay off him, lads,” Zayn cut in. “The male anatomy is beautiful. If I would get paid to paint cocks all day I’d quit the modeling business in a heartbeat.”

“Zayn’s right, and Harry can stay on the balls as long as he likes,” Louis continued. “Besides, he has to finish it in time for the gala so it can get auctioned off.”

The museum liked to hold a benefit around the holidays, and it was the perfect time to get wealthy people to share some of their fortune into the arts. Harry’s replica was highly anticipated, so there was a slight pressure to make it as perfect as possible. “Thank you, Lou,” he smiled.

They went on to other subjects as they discussed their weeks, and before long Louis was looking at the time on his phone and nudging Harry to finish his drink. “Sorry lads,” he said as he called another uber. “It’s time for us to leave.”

“So soon?” Liam frowned, looking at his own wristwatch.

Harry looked at his phone and nodded. “Important business to get to, Li.”

“It’s their movie night,” Zayn rolled his eyes as he sipped on his drink.

“Wear protection you two!” Niall called out. “The last thing we need is Harry carrying a child.”

Harry started to blush again, flustered that they didn’t even know about _that_ fantasy and still managed to tease him about it. So he got jealous when he saw an expecting mum and wanted to be a godfather to every child he met. That was normal, right?

“And I’d still be the luckiest father,” Louis said as he started to pull Harry towards the exit. Louis knew about it though and indulged him once in a while. Apparently too many vodka red bulls made Louis confess he’d be more than happy to be Harry’s sperm donor if he didn’t find a husband in time. Not that Harry _could_ physically carry a child, but it’s the thought that counts right? Who could ask for a better best friend?

They quickly said their goodbyes as the uber pulled up, rushing inside before they were charged for waiting. The seats were clean, and the driver was playing some type of New Age music, probably Enya, and they quietly drove down the busy road.

“Oh, Harold,” he heard Louis sing song, bumping their knees together.

Harry smiled to himself as he stared out the window. Louis only called him that when he really wanted something. “What do you want?” he asked dryly, trying to hide his smile.

He turned his head to watch as Louis try to look offended, putting a hand dramatically on his chest. “How could you even think that of me?” he cried.

Harry rolled his eyes, an eyebrow arched at him until the other man relented.

“Fine,” Louis huffed. “My father’s wedding is this weekend and I desperately need a date.”

So that’s what it was. Louis’ father was probably on his fifth marriage at this point, marrying one blonde gold digger after the other. But Louis had to attend every wedding, and Harry became his go to date when important events like that were available. And given that he loved weddings, Harry was more than happy to attend. But he still liked to tease Louis about it. Play hard to get and all that.

“Why don’t you just go with one of those boy toys you pick up?” he said casually, looking out the window to see crowds of people strolling by. He already knew the answer, but he rarely got to see Louis plead so easily.

“Because I’m not going to bring meaningless one night stands to a wedding!” he turned to face Harry completely, one knee on the seat. “Please, Harold. Don’t make me beg.”

Harry sighed as he tried to hide his smile. “Alright.”

“You’re the best!” Louis said as he placed a wet kiss on his cheek, Harry pretending to wipe it off, despite the grin on his face. He couldn’t help but blush every time Louis would touch and kiss him. Not that he was actually attracted to Louis, but he was attractive none the less. His gay heart could only take so much from a man who was literally a supermodel.

The car pulled up to Harry’s street, thanking the driver as they got out.

“What time are you picking me up?” Harry asked as they got in the lift in his building.

“Around three?” Louis answered, pushing the button for the right floor. “The ceremony starts at four thirty, I think. So that should give us enough time.”

Harry nodded. “Makes sense,” he sniffed. The bell dinged for his floor and Louis followed him as the went to open the door.

“I’m home,” he called out, throwing his keys in the nearby bowl. And just as he expected, two large balls of fluff came bolting at him from around the corner.

The all black cat, Artemisia, proceeded to rub herself along his feet, her purr probably being loud enough to be heard a few streets away. He turned to find grey tabby Leonardo already in Louis’ arms, purring away as he got a belly rub.

“I swear you adopted dogs instead of cats,” Louis giggled. “Considering how they enjoy these rubs and know how to fetch and all that.”

Artemisia and Leonardo were five year old litter mates, born outside on a snowy night before they were thankfully rescued by a couple who brought their mum and siblings to a shelter. Harry saw their listing once they were old enough to be adopted out, and quickly chose the bonded pair. And given his love of art, it was only natural that they were given names of some of the best artists of all time: Artemisia Gentileschi and Leonardo DaVinci.

And as they grew up, he realized they matched their personalities to their names almost perfectly. Artemisia was a graceful cat that knew she was beautiful, posing even while sleeping. She treated the world like her own personal cat walk, strutting her stuff on a simple water bowl mission. Leonardo, on the other hand, would bump into things because he felt like it (the vet said he was 100% healthy therefore _liked_ to walk into furniture) and on many occasions Harry caught him trying to fly off of his bedroom dresser.

Leo also had a crush on the cat who lived across the hall, Chewbacca, a male cat who resembled the very character he was named after. Sometimes his owner would leave him in Harry’s flat for a few days when she needed to travel, and he’d always find the two of them snuggling and grooming each other while ignoring Artemisia.

Louis was delighted when he realized Harry was the father of a gay cat, and Harry was no less excited.

“Well,” Harry said as he picked up his girl, giving a gentle kiss to her head. “Maybe Leo. Artemisia knows I am just a loveable servant to her who feeds her her favorite duck dinners. There’s no dog in her.”

And after feeding them their meals on the countertop, their licks filling up the kitchen ambience, the men went to the living room to go start their movie.

“So,” Louis said as he settled himself on the couch, a bowl of popcorn in one hand. “It’s musical week. Which one is in store for us tonight?”

“The Sound of Music!” Harry cheered as he held up the Blu-ray case. Everything might be about streaming these days, but maybe it was the humanities major in him that wanted to preserve the physical aspect of watching a movie. Not to mention the extensive VHS collection he had in storage. He knew they’d make a comeback one day, and he was more than ready for it.

“Excellent choice,” Louis nodded. “Julie Andrews’ voice should be considered the ninth wonder of the world or something.”

Thanks to Louis’ connections, they got the chance to meet her a few years ago. She truly was a gem, with her kind voice and sweet manner making anyone want to be her grandchild, but nothing could replace the pure handsome that was the actor who played her husband.

“And I’d love for young Christopher Plumber to raw me,” Harry said nonchalantly as he started to play the movie, which caused Louis to double over in laughter, putting down his bowl on the coffee table before he ended up dropping it.

“But then you’d be an old man by now,” Louis cried as the giggles escaped him, reaching over to try and pull Harry to the couch. “And I never would have met my best friend.”

Harry rolled his eyes, allowing himself to be pulled until he was standing in front of him. “You still have the boys,” he smiled down at him, pinching his cheek. “Surely you would have found a best friend in them if I wasn’t around.”

“Nonsense,” Louis muttered, brushing his hand away before grabbing it with his own. “I can’t believe you’d abandon me for some historical cock.”

Harry gave him a pointed stare. “Says the man who hooked up with a bloke while we went to go see _Hamilton_ together at the West End.”

Louis gasped in response, eyelashes fluttering. “It was during intermission and you barely realized I was gone!”

There was some slight truth to that. Louis had gone to the bathroom, and since his phone died and he needed some distraction, Harry struck up a conversation with an elderly man who was sitting next to him. They talked about their love of musicals and how the genre has evolved over the years, but in the back of his mind Harry still wondered why his friend was taking so long. But when Louis came back to his seat, the look on Louis’ face told him exactly what he had done while he was gone, earning him a disapproving look from Harry. Not that he was jealous, but there had to be some etiquette about hooking up with strangers when you’re out on a friendly date with your best mate.

“You still abandoned me for cock,” Harry muttered back. Before Louis could argue anymore, he practically launched himself onto his chest, making himself comfortable as Louis grunted.

“If you think your pretty curls can distract me from an argument,” Louis said above him as he played with his hair with one hand while pulling some blankets over both of them, “you’re sorely mistaken.”

“Hush,” Harry whispered, sticking an arm out to get the remote and play the movie. “It’s starting.”

And as Julie Andrews appeared on the screen while Louis rubbed his back, Harry couldn’t help but enjoy the pure domestic bliss this felt like. One day he’d find a man to share it with. One day.

*

Harry thought the rest of the week would remain uneventful as he got to his work. Louis had some jobs to do around the city, so they just texted during the week as they usually did. Harry didn’t expect for his world to be flipped when his boss came to visit him on Friday morning.

“Dr. Styles?”

Harry frowned, blinking as he tried to distinguish the voice. He turned around to see the director of the museum, Professor James Corden, coming towards him.

“Dr. Corden!” he said as he put down his paintbrush. “What a pleasure. Can I help you with something?”

“Pack your bags, my boy,” he smiled. “You’re going to New York City for a month and you’re leaving next week.”

Harry blinked back at him. “Excuse me?” He needed to sit down. Now. He steadied himself on the empty chair beside him.

“We need someone from our team to go handle an acquisition from the MET, and you’re the perfect man for the job.”

“But my painting-“ he said turning back to his work. He couldn’t just leave it when it wasn’t even finished.

“We still have a few months until the gala so you will still continue when you come back.” And based on the stare Dr. Corden was giving him, it looked like he didn’t have a choice in the matter. He was going to New York, suddenly uprooting his life for a month and it’s not as if he could really say no. It would have helped to have had a warning at least.

“Okay,” Harry sighed, pushing up his glasses as they slipped down his nose. “What time is my flight?”

“Excellent! You leave next Friday in the evening, and someone will be with you every step of the way. Hotel arrangements, transportation, everything has already been arranged. All you have to do is get on that plane on time. Now,” he said as he looked as his wristwatch, “I’ve got a meeting to get to. Email my assistant if you have any questions.”

Harry watched Dr. Corden leave before he could reply, slumping back in his chair as he rubbed his temple.

A month? In New York? It didn’t feel right. A week? Yes. But an entire month? He didn’t know whether or not that was such a good idea.

And on top of that, he’d miss his friends. Well, Louis. Louis would be the one he would miss the most. In their ten years of friendship, the longest they had ever been apart was two weeks. Fourteen days to be exact, since he was counting down to the minute that Louis’ plane was to arrive from Australia.

Louis had to go for a modeling gig to the country for a few days, but he ended up hospitalized with a stomach virus that left him unable to travel. He said he was recovering fine, but that didn’t stop Harry from worrying. Niall had to physically restrain him from catching the next flight to Sydney to go take care of him.

But this New York thing is a planned trip, with little notice. Would it feel the same?

He was still trying to process as he went home, arriving to his flat with purring cats to greet him. He made himself some dinner, sitting at the table while the cats watched him from the counter. Once he gave them their own dinner, the three of them went to the couch as Harry slumped back.

“What do you think, Artemisia?” All he got was a slow blink in return, her yellow eyes already looking sleepy. “Will you survive without me for a month? I know your Uncle Louis will take care of you, or Chewbacca’s mum, but I’ll miss you all so much. How about you, Leo?”

His response was to climb on his owners’ lap and quickly fall asleep there. His purring was calming, but Harry wished it could solve other things. Like how he was going to tell Louis.

*

His spontaneous trip was all Harry could think about as he got ready for the wedding the next day, slipping on a black suit. Louis would be arriving in his car soon. He looked in the mirror a final time, his mostly unbuttoned shirt revealing some of his chest tattoos. The deep navy suit fit him perfectly all around, turning to see how tight it looked around his bum. He wasn’t one for tighter clothes on usual days, but weddings called for a certain dress code that Harry didn’t want to let down.

“Wow,” Louis whistled, leaning back on his car once Harry made his way down. He was wearing a black suit, fitting him like a glove. With his sunglasses perched on his nose and his hair in a quiff, he looked like he could audition for the next James Bond film. “You look lovely, Haz. And you even wore your contacts!” he grinned.

Harry blushed at the compliment. He only wore his contacts for special occasions, since his glasses were just more comfortable to wear. But he still felt bare without them on, so he might have applied a little mascara and eyeliner so he wouldn’t feel too naked. “It’s not every day I get to go to a wedding,” he said as he got into the jaguar.

The wedding was held in a hotel by the Thames, so Louis drove them to the venue. Harry peered out the window as Louis played his indie music, hoping to find a way to tell him about New York. It’s not that he could change what was going to happen, but he desperately needed to get it out there and talk to someone about it. And there was no way he could tell the other lads without Louis knowing first. “Which number marriage is this?” he asked casually, hoping to distract himself.

“I lost count after the fourth,” Louis said dryly. “Besides mum, the third wife was my favorite out of them all. This one is just as spoiled as the rest of them.”

“That’s your new stepmother you’re talking about,” Harry snickered.

“For the next six months probably,” he said. “And I’m pretty sure she’s only two years older than _me_.”

They gave the car to the valet once they arrived, walking into the event room where the ceremony was going to be held. Louis was seated in the front with the rest of his family, greeting his grandmother and other relatives from his dad’s side.

“Harry!” one of Louis’ aunts cheered as she walked over to kiss his cheek. “It’s so nice when Louis brings you along.”

“You know I can’t resist weddings, Aunt Agatha,” he giggled as he gave her a hug. Even if he wasn’t a part of the family, most of the Tomlinson clan already considered him like so. He came to enough weddings to be an honorary Tomlinson.

Louis’ father appeared suddenly, greeting everyone quickly as he went around the crowd. “Hello, all,” he said as he kissed some cheeks. “Harry! It wouldn’t be a wedding of mine if Louis didn’t bring you as his date.”

Harry chuckled as he shook his hand. “I keep telling him to get his own date, but he still prefers me,” he said with a shrug.

“And there’s no replacing Harry, dad,” Louis said as he gave him a hug, Harry watching as they whispered something between them before Louis waved him off.

They all took their seats once the music started, the ceremony going by pretty quick as the couple said their I do’s with their lawyers standing by. If his previous marriages were anything to go by, they were probably still negotiating their prenup down to the last minute.

Once it was over, they made their way to the ballroom where the reception was being held. Catching a table of their own, they dug into the desserts they ordered as soon as they arrived. Harry ordered a vanilla rainbow cake slice, with each layer a different color.

“That would be the color of your soul,” Louis chuckled as he eyed his cake.

“I’d like to think so,” Harry giggled. “What’d you order, Lou?”

“Lemon cake,” the man answered as he took a bite. “And it tastes heavenly,” he sighed with a smile on his face.

After they finished their sweets, they walked through the crowd to get some drinks for themselves. But just as Harry was about to order for them at the bar, Louis made a noise.

“Oh no,” he whispered as he turned towards the counter suddenly.

“What?” Harry looked around. Had he seen someone?

“There’s that friend of my cousin who practically stalks me,” the older man whispered as he ducked down further. It would be almost comical to watch had it not been for the situation.

“You mean Eloise?” Harry gasped. She had been obsessed with Louis since they were teenagers, as Louis had told him the first time they visited his father’s home. It didn’t matter the countless times Louis had told her he was gay and he wasn’t interested; she never relented on her pursuit of him.

“Hide me!” Louis said in a loud whisper.

“But I don’t know where she-”

“Hi, Louis!” came a voice from behind, Harry wincing as he turned to find Eloise standing there in a bright red dress, a fake tan so dark she could’ve been mistaken for another ethnicity. She grinned as she turned to the other man, flipping her blonde hair in the process. As if her bare shoulders would make her more attractive to Louis.

“Hello, person I barely know,” Louis said dryly, standing up straighter.

“Care to dance?” she said, either not hearing his answer or choosing to ignore it all together. “This isn’t my favorite song but I’d be willing to do anything for you.”

“Or my money,” he murmured under his breath to Harry.

“And if you want,” she said, fluttering her eyes at him as she stepped closer, “we could go out for drinks later.”

“Well how bloody unfortunate I’ll have to miss that, Eloise, because I’m gay,” he said taking a step back and getting closer to Harry.

She simply rolled her eyes. “That just means you haven’t been with the right girl. And I’ve been telling you I’m here to change that.”

Harry would be seeing red right now if it was any other occasion, but he had heard this nonsense countless times already. No matter what Louis told her, she never understood what exactly “a flaming homosexual” meant.

“This is my boyfriend, Harry,” Louis said suddenly, Harry’s brows arching slightly in surprise. They had always gone as dates to the family functions, but never introduced each other as actual boyfriends to… well, do this.

“Boyfriend?” she wrinkled her nose. “But this is that friend you take to all of your father’s weddings. I read the tabloids and you’re not dating anyone!”

“Well,” he smiled as he turned to face Harry. “Our close friendship has actually blossomed into true love, and I’ve very much fallen for Harry. We just want to keep things private for now, so don’t even think about spreading that.”

“And you…” she grimaced, “sleep with him?” The disgust was dripping in her voice, and Harry had to take a few calming breaths before stepping closer to Louis.

“If by sleep you mean have a lot of _gay_ sex with my _gay_ boyfriend every bloody _gay_ night then yes, I do,” Louis grinned. “Now if you excuse us,” he said as he put his hand on the small of Harry’s back. “I promised my boyfriend a dance, and this happens to be his _favorite_ song.”

Harry hadn’t even been listening to the songs the DJ was playing and started to hear the chords of George Michael’s “Careless Whisper”. Before he could say anything, they left Eloise standing there as they made their way to the center of the dancefloor, Louis taking him in his arms as they started to sway to the beat.

As Harry breathed in Louis’ cologne, a woodsy one that they both liked, he closed his eyes and he let George take over his senses.

_“Though it's easy to pretend, I know you're not a fool.”_

“Can’t believe you remembered I loved this song,” he whispered, resting his cheek on the other man’s shoulder.

“How could I not?” Louis whispered back, his warm breath comforting in Harry’s ear. “I was there when you got the lyrics tattooed on your ankles. Kind of hard to forget that, love.”

And as they danced, Harry’s mind flashed back to that very night.

They were partying in Jamaica on some famous person’s yacht in the summer of 2017, and after passing one too many blunts around, Harry decided to get tattooed then and there by a friend. He remembers giggling with his head in Louis’ lap as the needle pierced his skin, Louis giggling even more as they tried to keep still.

And now that he thought about it, that was the night they almost kissed. They had gotten through a few drinks and ended up dancing together on the roof of the yacht. He distinctly remembered how close their lips were to each other, but Louis pulled back before anything else happened, and they never spoke of it after that.

And since that night, he hadn’t really considered if he wanted a kiss to happen or not. What would the conversation have been like? Would they have tried to date after? It’s not like you have to date someone because you kissed them, but it was obvious the topic would’ve come up. Would it have worked out between them if they tried? He never let his feelings go there, given that Louis was his best friend first and foremost. Besides, a relationship would never happen with the man who didn’t want one to begin with.

But as Louis held him tight against him, chest to chest, he almost wished a kiss did happen that night. Hearing Louis introduce him as his boyfriend, proudly proclaiming it, woke up the dormant feelings that were created on that warm Jamaican night. He just didn’t think they’d arise during a wedding reception in London, and a week before he had to leave for New York.

New York. Right. He still had to tell Louis about that. That was more important than a simple crush (barely a crush really) he got because he was feeling a bit lonely.

“You alright, love?” Louis whispered in his ear again.

Harry swallowed as he nodded. “Perfect. Can we go out to get some air, though?” He desperately needed that. Having Louis so close to him when he thought of those feelings was a recipe for disaster.

“Of course,” Louis replied, as he checked his watch. “Better yet, we can just leave entirely and take a walk down the shore. Sound good?”

“Yeah,” Harry smiled, taking a deep breath as he stepped away from him.

As they said goodbye to Louis’ father, they practically ran out of the venue. They made it to the boardwalk, Harry watching Louis shrug off his jacket as the sun went down. The water was glittering ahead of them, a light breeze in the air. And in true Louis fashion, he offered to take a ride on the London Eye.

“Why not do something touristy for once?” he called out as he dragged him to the line. “We rarely come around here anyway.”

And as all things Louis suggested, Harry followed along without question.

The wheel was lit up against the sunset, cruising away as it did its slow rotation. There was barely a line while they waited, and they quickly entered a capsule with a few other people, walking over to the windows to secure their own little corner of the space. They reached the top and stayed there, Harry sighed as he looked out. The sun rays were barely visible, giving the last glow of the day. Even if he hadn’t even left England yet, he knew he was going to miss this. Just being around Louis, doing whatever they wanted, being in each other’s personal bubbles. He had to tell him. Now.

“I have to tell you something, Lou,” he coughed, not looking in his direction.

"Hm?" Louis turned towards him, "what's wrong love?"

Harry frowned as he quickly turned to face him. "You think something's wrong?" Was he really that obvious?

"If you think I haven't been able to read your face after ten years,” Louis said softly, “we probably aren't the best of friends we think ourselves to be. Now spill."

He was right, of course. And he paused to look at him, admiring how soft he looked with his hair still in a quiff, his tie undone, his jacket slung over his shoulder. He really was going to miss this.

“Well um-” Harry swallowed. “I’m going to New York City for a month.”

Louis blinked back at him, almost resembling the look he imagined he gave Dr. Corden. “Okay,” he said carefully. “New York? Why?”

“There’s this painting the museum wants to loan for an exhibit, but the MET won’t let us have it unless we have more discussions. So,” Harry sighed. “James is sending me. Says I can practically charm them into giving us the entire museum.”

“And you would,” Louis smiled, reaching over to place his hand over Harry’s. “What painting is it?”

“Another Midas painting that we need to hold a Poussin exhibit,” the younger man explained further, but he had a feeling that wasn’t what Louis was concerned about the most.

“Ah I see” his friend nodded, a slight pause before continuing. “But a month? That’s too many Sundays without you, Haz.” He felt Louis run his thumb over his knuckles, as if he was reminding him of what he’d be missing.

Harry knew that, and it killed him to even think about. “We can still talk everyday via text,” he said, even if it won’t be the same. He was trying to sway himself more than anything. “You’d still want to do that right?”

“Of course,” Louis sighed. “And I’ll be a bit more busy with some upcoming shoots. So I have enough to distract me while you’re gone, I guess.”

“It won’t be too bad,” Harry said, wanting to convince himself more than Louis at this point. “And you promise to videochat me every day with Artemisia and Leonardo right? Chewbacca’s mum is out of town for a month so she can’t feed them and you’re the only other person who I trust with my children.”

“Of course, love,” the other man smiled. “I’ll come every day to feed them and send you pictures of them as well.”

“Thank you,” he breathed out. Even if he finally told him, something still felt heavy in his chest. “Now I just have to tell Mum and Gemma.”

“Didn’t tell them before me?” Louis asked with a brow arched.

“I only found out yesterday. Besides, felt too nervous to even think about,” Harry mumbled. Suddenly he felt Louis’ strong arms around him, allowing Harry to lean into him. The angle was a bit awkward since Harry was a good inch or two taller, but he knew how to make himself smaller to be the little spoon between them. And Louis was always one to be soothing when Harry needing him to be.

“You’ll do great, Haz. We both know you will,” he whispered as he rubbed his back. “And before you know it, you’ll be back home and everything will be the same again. Just wait.”

Harry simply nodded, gazing out into the early night over the city. Hopefully.

*

It was Sunday again, and Louis decided to make it an extra special one, judging by the look on his face. “I won’t see you for a whole month, Haz,” he said as he dragged him out of the museum. “Let me spoil you.”

And what a day of spoiling it was.

First, they went to a group pottery class in Camden that Harry had mentioned he wanted to sign up for yet never had the time. He couldn’t believe Louis remembered, but then an unexpected twist in their evening of crafting happened.

“Welcome all!” the instructor said, a stout cheery woman in her 40s with an adorable jet-black bobbed hairstyle. “I’m so glad you could join me for this special couples pottery class.”

“Couples?” Harry squeaked. He knew he was blushing. And judging with a glance of the room, there was no way there was a chance they could make it through the class as singletons, which meant they’d have to pretend to be a couple. Again. It was one thing to be privately thinking over his romantic interest in his best friend; it was a completely different thing to be acting like it while he had this crisis. Especially when the first part of the session involved making a clay vase together, Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze in _Ghost_ style.

“Sorry, Haz,” Louis giggled as he went to sit right behind him. “Guess I didn’t read the part where it said this was for couples only. You’re okay with this right?”

Having Louis say that in his ear as he wrapped his arms around his own made him want to run to the nearest body of water and take an icy plunge. “Yeah,” he rasped, hoping his voice didn’t give anything away. Hopefully Louis wouldn’t notice the goose pimples on his skin either. “Totally fine, Lou.”

And everything was not fine, because Harry could barely pay attention to what the instructor was saying as they went through the class because Louis’ hands covered in clay were even more erotic than anything Harry had seen. The way he was shaping the vase, up and down with slicking sounds, only made a semi hard situation in Harry’s own pants, and he was beyond mortified.

Luckily, Louis didn’t seem to notice. “You’re good with your hands, Haz,” Louis whispered, feeling the smile in his voice. “Very… phallic shape you got there.”

“As if you aren’t helping along,” Harry chuckled, trying desperately to sound breezy. He was more than happy to take anything cock looking back to his flat to display, especially if it was something Louis helped make.

“You two are such a cute couple!” came a voice from above, both of them looking up to see the instructor standing in front of them, her hands clasped in front of her as she grinned. “It’s so nice seeing young love out and about these days. This couples’ night was actually my wife’s idea, so I can’t wait to show her all the creations from tonight!” she said with a chuckle as she eyed their vase. Harry knew he was blushing while he felt Louis press their faces together. God, they were good at this fake boyfriends thing.

Then, after a quick dinner at one of their favorite restaurants, Harry found himself in a VIP box at Adele’s concert in the O2 arena. There were a couple of other people he didn’t really recognize, but he really just cared about being near Louis, which was exactly what he was doing.

“Thank you, Lou,” Harry said breathlessly as he watched her perform. They were standing near the railing, drinks in hand as they stared out into the arena. He noticed some fans looking up at their box and noticing Louis, waving up at him and taking pictures. Harry nudged him so he could see, and Louis gave a quick wave back before returning his eyes to Adele.

_“I wasn't ready then, I'm ready now. I'm heading straight for you. You will only be eternally,”_ she sang, _“The one that I belong to.”_

And as Harry glanced over at his friend, his heart started to flutter in ways it hadn’t before. It felt like a butterfly just opening its wings for the first time, unknown yet welcoming.

_“Sweetest devotion,”_ she belted out, _“hits me like an explosion.”_

But maybe it was just a crush. Maybe he was just yearning for a boyfriend and having that basis of friendship with Louis was enough to make him reconsider him as a potential partner. Just a simple crush, really.

_“All of my life, I've been frozen”_

A crush that just happened to sprout for reasons Harry couldn’t control.

_“The sweetest devotion I've known”_

By the time she got to “Someone Like You”, Harry was already considering where he could go look for dates when he got back from London. He could find a new man, maybe a man that reminded him of Louis in a way so he could get over his stupid crush. But as he thought about it, it only left him with a murky feeling in his chest. Why settle for someone like Louis when he could just ask for the real thing? But no… that was even dumber than having this crush in the first place. Louis would never want him like that.

They finished the night at Harry’s flat, Louis’ gently snoring above him as Harry watched their movie as while he laid on the older man’s chest. Usually he’d give Louis shit for falling asleep during their movie night, but for once he was thankful he could be alone with his thoughts.

Emma was their chosen movie of the night, the 2008 version to be precise. Actually, it was a series, but Harry enjoyed watching the last episode on it’s own. It was nearing the end though, with Emma realizing her feelings for Mr. Knightley.

_“How stupid I am. How blind I’ve been. Harriet? And Mr. Knightley? I have been so busy managing everyone else’s heart I do not know my own. For if Mr. Knightley is to marry anyone, that someone should surely… be me.”_

Well, Harry’s heart had been busy with others during their friendship, so it’s not as if it could’ve ever focused on Louis when he clearly wasn’t looking for anything romantic with any man, let alone him. So of course Harry was reasonable in dating around, but now it made him wonder if that’s what his heart wanted in the first place. Maybe it chose someone already without even telling Harry.

It’s not like he ever thought to look at Louis in that way, but suddenly he remembered when he had lost his virginity, and he felt his face flame up as the realization dawned on him.

He had lost to his first official boyfriend in uni, Tommy, after a few weeks of dating. Mostly, Harry just wanted to get it over with, and he was a hormonal teenager after all. But there’s something that he kept from Louis, no matter how close they were.

They went on a date together earlier in the night, but being that it was his first time, he was kind of nervous for the entire evening. Harry thought he’d get it together by the time they ended up in bed, but to no luck, he wasn’t getting hard. Tommy told him to relax and think of something that turned him on.

Well, what absolutely no one knew, was that the first person that came to mind was Louis. And he felt awful about it because he couldn’t get hard to his best friend. There had to be something _wrong_ about that. But that did it. Louis’ image was enough to get his pole flying at full mast, with a flag of Louis’ face flying high, and Tommy took full advantage of it.

And it didn’t help that Harry nearly screamed Louis’ name into the pillow as his boyfriend fucked him into the bed.

Eventually he did learn to enjoy sex without having to think of Louis first, especially as he got more experience with Tommy and even after they broke up, but now… everything made sense. There was a reason he thought of Louis first.

He didn’t have to keep searching for his Prince Charming. He’s been right in front of him the entire time. But it hurt more knowing Louis would never see him like that.

A little voice in his head still edged him on. What if Louis was open to the idea of dating? Would Harry saying he was interested change his views on relationships? Or would he end up ruining the one good man he had in his life?

As he thought of all this, his eyes adjusted to the screen again. Emma and Mr. Knightley had finally admitted they were meant for one another and were kissing tenderly on the field. Harry doubted he could get an ending like that.

It didn’t matter though. He was, quite possibly, in love with his best friend. The very best friend he was laying on top of right then. And that was a catastrophe in of itself. Shit.

*

The night of Louis’ Burberry show came, and as promised, Harry was happily sitting front row as he waited for the models to come. He liked to paint for himself on his downtime and watching the latest in fashion walk in front of him gave him the most inspiration to paint away his feelings when he could. And he especially needed it after his last painting session from earlier that morning.

For some reason, the thought of Louis being his boyfriend couldn’t seem to be shaken out from his mind. Maybe his cologne lingered too long on his own clothes after he spent the night? But for whatever reason, Harry ended up painting hearts with little L’s in the middle of them.

He really needed distraction. Luckily the show was starting as the lights of the area went out and had his phone ready to take a quick snap to post on his Instagram.

The theme for this show seemed to be rainbow by the looks of it, and Harry couldn’t help the familiar feeling of seeing those colors on display in such a wide setting. It didn’t matter how long he had already been out for; nothing compared to the feeling of bubbly pride that manifested in his chest whenever he saw a pride flag anywhere. It was just something straight people could never understand.

The models started walking by him, some in rainbow capes, others in subtle rainbow shoes. There were a few outfits that Harry knew he’d be seeing on Louis at some point in their daily lives, given how much free clothing he got to wear as an ambassador. If Burberry happened to give away that nice rainbow poncho one of the models was wearing, Harry would be sure to ask Louis to get it for himself.

Finally, Louis appeared near the end of the show, wearing nothing but a rainbow colored parka with red track pants. He was bare on his top, and Harry found his mouth watering at the sight. His tan skin gleamed under the jacket as his hips slightly swayed down the catwalk, his gaze fierce as he kept looking ahead. Harry made sure to take a picture, even though he knew he could just find the online later. He still wanted his own souvenir from the night.

He knew there would definitely be a few articles about Louis’ toned stomach gracing the runway, though. And if Harry happened to read those articles, it was just for the science of being his best friend. Nothing of attraction really. Appreciating the male body was what he did for a living, and Louis was clearly a piece of artwork that deserved to be studied. That was all about it.

Later, he found himself backstage in Louis’ dressing room, hugging his friend for a great show.

“You did fantastic, Lou!” he sighed as he stepped back to let him undress.

“You think so?” Louis said as he wiped off the red lipstick with a cloth. Harry hadn’t even noticed the makeup since he was staring at his exposed midsection so much. How on earth could he miss that? “I’m not really one for all this makeup but I guess once in a while it’s not so bad.”

“It suits you well though,” Harry murmured. He liked to wear some nude lipsticks from time to time but kept the brighter shades for when he was feeling a bit more wild. Keeping his own lips soft with some lip balm was the main priority.

“Well I can rock anything,” Louis laughed, still wiping away the lipstick. “But I’d prefer not having to deal with all this extra stuff when it comes to makeup. I can’t believe my sisters go through this shit every night!”

Harry could only giggle as he started to walk around the room. Being the mum he liked to be, he helped pack away Louis’ things as the other man changed into his regular clothes.

“After you,” Louis said as he opened the door, Harry walking past him with a nod. “I still can’t believe you’re leaving me for a month, Haz. Who else will pick up after me when I’ve got a show to do?”

Harry couldn’t help the giggles that escaped his mouth. “You’re thirty years old, Lou. You’ll make do.” But if it were up to him, he’d gladly stay behind just to pick up after Louis. He’d do anything to not be separated from both his cats and his best friend on such short notice.

As they made their way down the hall and into a crowded room with the rest of the models leaving, Louis put his arm out in front of Harry, causing him to run into it.

“Shit shit shit,” Louis whispered.

“What’s wrong?” Harry whispered back, looking around.

“There’s this model I slept with,” he said as he turned to face him, “and still wants to keep shagging even though I told him about my rule.”

“So-”

“So he’s coming over here and for the time being you’re my boyfriend!”

And before Harry could even protest, a man came up to both of them. See, Harry was willing to go along when Louis had a homophobic idiot after his prick. He was less willing to pretend to be a boyfriend when one of his old hookups came around.

“Louis?” the man said. Harry looked over Louis’ shoulder as he tried to inspect the model. He was slim, ebony haired, fairly handsome. If Harry was shagging him, he wouldn’t mind doing it again. But rules were rules with Louis.

“Colin,” Louis said. Harry was deciding between whether that was a lucky guess on Louis’ part or he genuinely remembered his name. He was hoping for the latter. “How lovely to see you. This is my boyfriend, Harry,” he grinned as he turned to him, putting an arm around his waist like he did at the wedding. It shouldn’t feel familiar, but Harry couldn’t help but melt into it.

Colin blinked back at them. “You never told me you had a boyfriend.”

“I do,” Louis replied. “Very recent actually, so I’m sadly not available for outside endeavors.” Not that one couldn’t lead with something so direct in a conversation, but if Louis was being this blunt he really didn’t want to sleep with this man again. And that only made Harry want to torture him a bit more.

“But,” Harry cut in. “We actually have a very open relationship!” He could feel Louis’ grasp on his waist getting tighter.

“Really?” Colin perked up. Harry knew Louis must be trying to kill both of them with laser beams coming from his eyeballs. They watched enough X-Men for Harry to know that was the superpower Louis wanted.

“Actually,” Louis cut in with a frown as he turned to face Harry, the annoyance clear in his eyes, “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, darling. I don’t want to see other people anymore. There’s only you in my life.”

And if it were any other night, Harry would’ve laughed off that empty statement while attempting to refute it. But all he felt was a swell in his chest again. Even if Louis didn’t mean it, hearing him say the words was more than enough to bring him to his knees.

“Awh,” he cooed. “I thought you’d never say those words, muffin.”

“Ugh,” Colin said with an eyeroll. “Whatever. I’ll see you later, Louis.”

As they watched him walk away, Louis grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him towards the exit, a car waiting for them outside.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Louis said once they were in the backseat, grabbing Harry’s face with both hands and pecking him on the cheek with each kiss. “Even with that open relationship shit you pulled, you’re the best fake boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

_Fake_, was the word that hung itself like wet tissue paper on a clothesline in his head. Louis wouldn’t even get a real boyfriend to begin with, so that’s how he’d ever see Harry. As a fake one to use when necessary.

“I’ll be anything you need, Lou,” he replied instead.

“There’s this after party I need to get to,” Louis continued. “Want to come? I’m sure I can find someone for you to probably fall in love with. It’s the very least I can do.”

Unless it’s you, Harry wanted to say, no thank you. “Thanks Lou,” he answered with a fake yawn. “But I’d rather turn in for the night.”

“Suit yourself, Haz,” he shrugged, lighting up as he leaned over to the partition. “Hey driver? Can you turn up that station? It’s our song, Haz!”

_“Oh, you make me live.”_

Their song. Queen’s “Your My Best Friend” became their song after Harry played the song during one of their study sessions in uni. Given the title, it was easy to brand it as their own song.

_“You’re my best friend,” _Louis sang along.

But now as Harry listened to the lyrics, he remembered it was meant to be a love song, not just a platonic one. Hell, he’s pretty sure John Deacon wrote the song about his wife. Life was really too cruel.

He hugged Louis goodbye once the car was in front of his building, the other man promising to text him tomorrow as soon as he was free. Then Harry remembered Louis was probably going to get laid. Again. And it felt awful to even feel jealous about that when it never affected him before.

Once he got inside his flat and made himself some tea, he decided to check Twitter. He searched Louis’ name, seeing the pictures update accounts posted of their date at Adele’s concert. Harry didn’t show up in pap photos, but he did show up in fan pics once in a while when he was with Louis. The fans from the concert must’ve let some fan accounts know about it, because their pictures were everywhere Louis related on the interweb. And his heart wretched itself as he saw how… well they fit together.

They were both holding drinks in their hands, smiling as they watched the stage. The next picture had Louis lean over and whisper something in his ear, and that’s when Harry realized he was smiling like a loon even though he couldn’t remember what Louis even told him. It didn’t matter anyways. He doesn’t remember smiling like that around anyone else.

And it didn’t help that most of the comments were asking if they were a couple.

**mariana503: @tommoupdates wait who’s that long haired guy on the right???**

**taytay10: that’s his brother I think**

**kitykatz45: no Louis has a toddler brother**

**taytay10: then business associate idk**

**rickydicky5: y’all remember he’s gay right**

**mariana503: idc they look cute together!!! lou needs a boyfriend lbr**

He wondered if fans actually knew his stance on that. If anything, Harry imagined that Louis would eventually settle down in his late 40s, once things in life slowed down.

If life had taught him anything though, he knew he had to at least talk to someone about these… feelings. Louis was obviously out of the question. Zayn? Well, he minored in psychology so he actually would be helpful in this. But he couldn’t keep anything from Liam, and Liam was dreadful at keeping secrets. He would definitely tell Louis when he could, and it would be humiliating for Louis to find out that way. Which left only one possible person.

*

“I was in the middle of a _very_ good dream,” Niall grumbled as he sat in his armchair. “So you better be dying or worse to interrupt my beauty sleep.”

“It’s worse,” Harry mumbled as he flopped down on the couch. Luckily Niall’s flat wasn’t too far from his own, and he knew the Irishman was definitely asleep at two in the morning, but he had no other choice. So he showed up on his doorstep, Niall standing there with rumpled hair and tired eyes.

“I’ll be the judge of that. Spill already.”

Harry took a deep breath, wondering where to even start. Just the simple declaration was hard enough to get off his tongue before chickening out, but he knew he had to do it. “IthinkI’minlovewithLouis,” he rushed out of his throat, both burning and causing relief at the same time.

“You what?” Niall frowned, leaning forward.

“I… think I’m in love with Louis? Or maybe just want to sleep with him. Who knows,” he swallowed. “It all started when we went to his father’s wedding. He made me pretend to be his boyfriend and for some reason that just made me think… that could happen? It didn’t feel weird to do so? Like I actually wouldn’t mind to see him as my boyfriend but that’s like too much to handle? Especially when I’ve never thought about him that way. Sure he’d attractive – because come on he really is gorgeous - but I’ve never been attracted to him in _that_ way. The farthest we’ve ever gone was when we almost kissed back in Jamaica. But that didn’t actually mean anything to either of us, or so I thought. Then the week just went by with him taking me out all Sunday and we had to pretend to be boyfriends again and it just felt right even though it was fake and wrong and I don’t think I have any idea what’s happening with my heart right now. All I know is that my stomach just flutters when I see him or even think of him and…” he sighed. “I don’t know what to do. It’s not like he’d want me back. It’s just complete shit” He slumped back against the cushions, just wanting to take a nap. He hoped Niall would’ve responded by now, but the Irishman was just staring at him with wide eyes.

“Niall. Say something. Please.”

“You mean you’ve never shagged him? In ten years?”

Harry took in a deep breath, contemplating throwing a decorative pillow at him. “_That’s_ what you got out of that?” he deadpanned.

“Definitely worse than death,” Niall mumbled. “Wow. I’m sorry, Harry. I guess the only thing I can say is… do you think it’s just a crush? Does it feel like one?”

No. It definitely wasn’t. “I don’t know,” he lied. “But why does that matter? Louis doesn’t like relationships, and if I tell him I want something between us, he’ll just try to make sure I don’t get hurt and end up distancing himself and then I’ll lose my best friend! I’ll do anything to keep him in my life, Niall.”

“I get that,” he said gently. “But you have to think of yourself as well. Do you think you’d be able to be around him while you’re feeling that way? Your feelings have to be considered as well. Doesn’t matter if it might make Louis uncomfortable for a bit, but it’s not your fault you’re feeling like this.”

Harry sighed. He just really wanted to go to bed at this point. Maybe cuddle with his cats and sleep for a good week. “It kind of feels like my fault. ‘Overly romantic Harry is single and happens to fall for his best friend because he’s single’. Some best friend I am.”

“Well, you’re really just assuming Louis’ response at this point. Haven’t you considered he might like you back?”

Of course he did, but he knew Louis too well. He wouldn’t want what he wanted. “Louis clearly loves his single life, Niall. How could I ask him to give that up because of me?” And he couldn’t risk losing him in any capacity.

“That’ll be his choice if he does, especially knowing how you feel about him. It’s up to you, Haz, to tell him or not” Niall sighed. “I think you two would make a good couple, considering how everyone views you two as that already.”

Now that was something Harry hadn’t considered. “Did you really think we were shagging in secret all these years?” he muttered. “You do remember my boyfriends, right?”

“Well, yeah,” Niall shrugged. “But you always had horrible breakups and Louis was always there to comfort you. So we just assumed that comfort involved,” he pursed his lips in thought, “some cock therapy.”

“Cock therapy?” Harry sputtered. “Are you mad? We’ve never slept together in the ten years we’ve been friends. Because that’s all we are: friends.”

“Okay alright,” the Irishman said putting his hands up in defeat. “So you’ve never bumped cocks with Louis – ludicrous if you ask me but whatever – but it’s not out of place to think best friends haven’t shagged for fun on the side.”

“Maybe other friends, but not us. I’ve only ever seen him as a friend,” he paused. “Up until last week really.”

Niall chuckled. “And now you do want him to give you that cock therapy.”

Harry hung his head as he groaned. The other man hadn’t even framed it as a question; more as a statement. And it was sad because it was true. Not only was he in love, but he had needs and Louis was fit as fuck. Hell, he might even give up his abhorrence to casual sex if that’s all Louis wanted from him. He didn’t need to admit that though. “Of course I do,” he scoffed. “I’m not going to live like a priest if I get to be with him.”

“Well,” Niall said as he got up. “The only way you’ll find that out is if you actually tell him, Harry. And given that it’s nearly three in the fucking morning, I’d like to get some sleep. You can crash here if you’d like if you want to talk as a reasonable hour, but this is the only advice my sleep deprived brain can give you right now.”

Harry nodded as he got up as well. “You’re right. I think I’ll just go back to my own, though. Thanks, Niall. For listening.”

“No problem,” he answered with a yawn. “Just let me know what you plan to do so we can all plan appropriately.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “This is a secret between us! Don’t you dare tell the rest of them. Especially Louis! And not even Zayn, because he’ll just blab to Liam who will tell Louis.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Niall said as he leaned against the door frame, eyes closing for a bit as he crossed over his heart with a tired finger. “Secrets safe with me.”

With a sigh and a quick hug, Harry left towards his own flat. He did feel better after talking about it, just as he thought, but still. He felt something was missing. Maybe the best course of action was to tell Louis. But maybe it was better to save that conversation for when he came back from New York. He didn’t want to just pour out his feelings and then have to leave. Or maybe that would be a good idea. Because if Louis rejects him, then he’d have a safety net of a month away from him so there wouldn’t be any awkwardness between them.

But no, he didn’t want that either. It would just have to wait for after his trip. That’s all.

*

_"Please remove all luggage from the aisle. We will be moving from the gate shortly."_

Harry sighed, knowing he was set and ready for take off. He made sure he packed enough clothes, said all the goodbyes to his cats and the lads, and gave Louis a hug that might have lasted a bit too long as he dropped him off before the security checkpoint.

“Come back in one piece, alright?” Louis had whispered into his ear, hugging him just as tight.

He noticed a few teenagers staring at them as he looked over his shoulder, whispering to each other as they leaned in closer. Did they recognize Louis? Or did they think they were actual boyfriends being dramatic before a flight?

Boyfriends. That was another thing that couldn’t be kept of his mind all week as he packed. Those triggered feelings that he thought were otherwise dormant in his chest had been causing an aching storm of feelings. Because just like a switch, Louis was no longer just his best friend. No, now he was his _fit_ best friend that he saw himself in a relationship with. A relationship that included… as Trey Songz put it, the neighbors knowing his name. Loudly.

He got flustered whenever he saw Louis’ name pop up on his phone. Their nightly calls ended up getting longer, Harry disguising it as a prequel to his travels. Louis didn’t have to know he just wanted to listen to his voice for as long as he could, his heart fluttering as he did. He found himself with a wide smile whenever he watched his snapchats. Hell, he even started a board on Pinterest about wedding venues. He was in way too deep.

But maybe it as just a crush? A crush that would go away, especially after spending some time apart. Niall had said it was a possibility. But was it normal to develop a crush on your best friend of ten years?

A small voice in Harry’s head kept telling him to tell Louis, even if it was just by a text. Maybe hint of something romantic, anything.

**Harry: Hey, Lou? I think I’m in love with you**.

Tell him! Tell him!

Instead, his mind went back to Jamaica.

_2015_

_“Doesn’t it hurt?” Louis giggled. Harry was currently laying some type of bed, his head in the older man’s lap as one of their other friends was at the other end of him tattooing his ankles. _

_“No,” Harry smiled, looking down at his feet. “It just tickles. Feels good.” _

_“Only you would find a needle in your skin enjoyable,” he chuckled. “Wouldn’t catch me dead getting one of those.” _

_“Never say never, Lou,” Harry smiled, reaching up to boop his nose. _

_“There!” Ed grinned, clearly happy with his work. “Good enough for ya?” _

_“How’s it look?” Harry giggled, sticking his legs up in the air so Louis could get a better look. He couldn’t possibly end his tattooing session without an approval from Louis. _

_It was July, and they were partying on some famous person’s yacht in Jamaica. Three blunts in, and Harry found himself ready to get tattooed then and there by one of Louis’ friends. Now he was laying down on a couch with his feet out in front of him, head in Louis’ lap as they both tried to stop snickering for no reason._

_“Despite the upside down reading, it looks fantastic, Ed,” Louis replied with a wide grin, brushing his fringe to the side with those delicate fingers of his. Harry couldn’t help but smile wider when the other man pressed a finger against his dimples._

_“Then it’s perfect,” Harry beamed._

_Louis laughed. “That is your favorite song, and just cheeky on the placement, don’t you think?”_

_Harry decided to get lyrics from George Michael’s “Careless Whisper” on his ankles (mostly because it was his go to song whenever he had a breakup) so even if he was still high as a bird he knew he still had to make the tats as punny as possible. Therefore, the ankles were his best choice. “Never gonna” on his right and “dance again” on his left. The perfect pair really._

_“Maybe,” he sighed, burying his face against his lap. Louis was sporting a pair of red swim trunks that rode up against his thighs, so Harry was literally faced with leg hair against his cheek. A nice feeling all together._

_“And it suits you,” Louis continued, “because you really shouldn’t be dancing on those bambi legs of yours.”_

_“Heyyyy,” Harry pouted. He wasn’t the best, but he tried his best. “I’m not a bad dancer.” _

_“Of course not, love,” Louis said as he patted his cheek._

_Maybe it was the haze of the high, but Harry couldn’t stay mad as he looked up into Louis’ clear blue eyes. Somehow they were more clear at night, just gazing down at him. _

_Finally the tattoos were done, and Harry found himself with Louis on the rooftop, gazing up at the stars instead of his eyes. “You’ve seen The Lion King right?” he began._

_“Of course I have,” Louis giggled. “What does that have to do with anything?” _

_“Remember when Timon and Pumbaa are looking up at the stars?” _

_“Mhm?” Louis murmured. _

_“What if Timon was right?” _

_“What?”_

_“What if he was right? That those,” Harry pointed up to the twinkling lights, “aren’t actually stars, but just fireflies that got caught in the massive black fabric up there?”_

_And instead of laughing at him, like any sane person would do, Louis simply nodded along, genuinely pondering the suggestion. Harry knew he had a keeper in his hands. “Who knows, Haz,” Louis replied. “Anybody could be right, I guess.”_

_“Except flatearthers,” Harry said in a stern tone._

_“Except flatearthers,” Louis repeated._

_Harry stayed gazing up at the sky, squinting hard to see if any of the fireflies would move. He’d catch them, he knew he could._

_“Let’s dance!” Louis said suddenly, leaping surprisingly fast from the blanket._

_“Right now?” Harry asked, blinking up at him._

_Louis extended his hand out with a dramatic bow. “If you please.”_

_“It would be my pleasure, sir,” Harry giggled, getting up and welcoming the feeling of Louis’ bare arms around him._

_They danced like that, Harry against his chest and Louis hummed some unfamiliar song and led them around the rooftop, swaying together to the sound of the crashing waves in the distance and the faint noise of whatever the DJ was playing in the bar area below._

_But Louis had been right about Harry’s clumsiness, because the younger man ended up tripping on a towel that was on the floor and effectively fell against his dance partner. Luckily Louis had the sense to fall near some of the pillows instead, cushioning them both as they landed._

_“Sorry,” Harry muttered with a small grin. He opened his legs more to straddle him correctly, holding his breath as he looked down at Louis. The other man’s lips were parted, and the energy was enough to pull him forward._

_“I told you you’re not a good dancer,” Louis said breathlessly, bringing a hand up to Harry’s face to tuck a loose curl away. “You always fall over.” _

_“Only because I know you’ll be there to catch me,” Harry whispered, leaning over a bit._

_Their lips were dangerously close now. Harry could feel the hot puffs of air escaping Louis’ mouth against his own. He wondered what he tasted like, and by the look on Louis’ face, it looked like he was facing a similar question. Like a magnet, he felt himself being pulled even closer to Louis’ beautiful lips, desperate to taste them._

_“We better turn in for the night,” Louis whispered, breaking the silence._

_He’ll never find out then._

_“Yeah,” Harry agreed._

_And they never spoke of it again. _

But he couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t risk Louis shunning him for having these feelings.

**Harry: I’ll see you when I get back xxx**

That’s all he could write, and Louis’ reply came instantly.

**Louis: Have a safe flight, love. Text me when you land x**

And with that, he turned off his phone, tucking it away in his pocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part II coming soon!


	2. Part II

“So, can I see you later tonight?”

Louis blinked back at the man. Josh? No. John? It started with a J, for sure. “Sorry, mate,” he said as he finished buttoning up his shirt. “But I have to get going. It was fun, and I’ll call you if I ever want to meet again.”

The blonde frowned, the sheets bunching up around his waist as he sat up in the bed. “But you don’t have my number?”

Louis groaned internally. Of course he didn’t, and he didn’t plan on getting it. He makes it very clear to his hookups that it’s always a one time thing, so it’s now like this lad didn’t know. Couldn’t this man take the hint already? “You know, if it’s meant to be, I’ll guess it and get the right number, Jack.”

The man scowled back at him. “It’s Karl.”

Whatever. Louis gave a half apologetic shrug before slipping out the door, closing it firmly behind him.

Even though the weather was growing colder, Louis kept forgetting to bring a jumper when he went out, so now he was left to do this walk of shame in a thin dress shirt that couldn’t possibly keep him warm.

If Harry was with him, he’d probably be giving him in his own jumper while scolding him for not bringing his own. Proper grandma Harry always was.

“Harry,” he mumbled, fishing for his keys in his jeans as he walked to the nearby car park, scanning the rows for his car. There might be more cheer in his step if he knew he was going to see his best friend in a few hours, but he just felt the ache in his bones and a headache coming on as he thought about the rest of his empty day.

Once he found his car and started to drive back to his flat, stopped at a traffic light, he couldn’t ignore the heavy feeling in his chest at not seeing his favorite notification show up on his phone. Not that he expected it in any sense, since Harry had at least two more weeks before he came back home.

“Two more weeks of misery more like,” he mumbled.

The past few weeks weren’t all the best, if Louis had to be honest with himself. He thought he would be fine the first two weeks at least, but every Sunday felt empty without Harry. He even tried bringing some men along to their bakery, hoping they could temporarily replace the Harry shaped hole in his day.

But they were boring, not having the same laugh or humor of his best friend. And it’s not that they weren’t funny (they were in their own way), but no one had the unruly chestnut curls on the top of his head with a messy bun, or the large black glasses that tended to slide off his nose every few minutes, or the green eyes that twinkled whenever Louis let him ramble about some new painting he was studying, or the even wearing outfits that looked like they just raided their grandmum’s wardrobe.

The men were nice, but they weren’t Harry. No one could be like Harry.

And it turned out, Louis didn’t even want to sleep with more men. Without seeing Harry after, it seemed pointless.

But his life didn’t revolve around Harry, so why did he miss him so? He still had about three weeks before he came back. Maybe he was used to the everyday facetiming if they didn’t actually see each other, texting silly messages back and forth when they were free. But at least when they facetimed, Louis still had to promise of seeing him at least once a week and getting an entire day with him.

It got even worse when Harry’s phone broke, so they could barely message each other anymore. Going weeks without having Harry in front of him, dimples out and smiling up a storm, was just too… irritating for him to bear. Louis was at his wits end.

If Harry couldn’t be there, the next best thing was his cats. He still went to feed Artemisia and Leonardo every day, the siblings clearly happy to host a visitor in their owners’ absence. He’d even stay a little longer than intended, with one cat in his lap while the other was asleep next to him, taking pictures he’d eventually send to their owner. Even if Harry wasn’t there, his flat still felt like him, and it calmed the restlessness of not having his best friend around.

But then Chewbacca’s owner texted him saying she’d be feeding the cats now that she was back from her own business trip, and now he couldn’t even have an excuse to mope around Harry’s flat in his absence. He may have taken one of Harry’s jumpers that was in a laundry pile during his last visit, thinking to himself he didn’t want to forget how his best friend smelled like. Nothing weird about that.

He went back to his flat, looking around it just made him bored. If Harry was there, he’d tell him to read a book if it was jaded. But much like the sex, if he didn’t have Harry to share afterwards, it wasn’t worth it.

He opted to mope on the couch, flipping through the channels on his flat screen. With barely any patience to quickly read the titles, he stopped once he saw the familiar tent of British Bake Off. It was a new episode though, so, yet again, he wouldn’t be able to tell Harry about it until they both watched.

Was Harry even keeping up with their shows in New York? He hoped so, sighing as he turned off the TV.

*

The next day, he had a photoshoot with Adidas that he had been looking forward to.

“So how’s life without Harry?” Bebe asked. She was a model from the U.S and was the face of Adidas for years now. She was notorious for her body positivity posts, always shutting down commentaries that called her too big to model their clothing. Even though she was older, he considered her like a younger sister, always catching up when she was in town. And given that they were close, she did meet Harry once or twice over the years, his best friend instantly charming her. One of the many things he adored about Harry was that he could make friends with absolutely anybody he wanted, and it made Louis miss him all the more. Especially when friends like Bebe would remember him before Louis even brought him up in conversation.

Now they were paired up to shoot some of the new unisex clothing for the spring line, talking amongst themselves in between takes.

“What?” he frowned, trying to appear affronted. How did she know he was missing him?

“First, you look like your pet fish packed up and left you,” she explained. “Second, I saw your ‘All By Myself’ sad tweets the other day and once I checked Harry’s Instagram, it clicked. Your boy left you alone and now you miss him.”

Oh. So Louis was _that_ obvious. And it wasn’t his fault that he got into his brandy stash and decided to drunk tweet while watching one of Harry’s favorite romcoms. And he couldn’t deny the way his heart contracted at hearing Harry being called “his boy”. He didn’t really think of him like that, but he saw no point in correcting it when it was nice to hear. “If I’m being honest,” he sighed as he leaned back against the chair he was sitting in. “Not so well.”

“And what makes you say that?” she hummed in response.

“I don’t know. I miss him a lot, I guess. I’m just used to seeing him every week and such. But everything will go back to normal once he comes back.”

“I see,” she said as she inspected her nails. “Is he seeing anyone? I think he had a boyfriend or something that last time I saw him.”

Louis frowned, not really appreciating the sudden tug of jealousy at the mention of Harry’s exes. “He’s single again,” he said simply. “That scumbag cheated on him, but he’s gone on a few fruitless dates since then. Looking for his Prince Charming and all that.”

“Awh. Well, I hope he does find someone,” Bebe paused in thought. “So what are you going to do once he gets married?”

“What?” Since when was Harry getting married?

“You heard me. What are you going to do when he’s not available every Sunday for your hangouts and he has a husband?”

“Um-“ Louis paused. He hadn’t really thought about that. Well, Harry did want to get married. But… that was in the distant future right? “Not possible. The man that’s going to marry Harry has to be absolutely perfect for him, and it’ll be awhile until he finds that person.”

“Okay,” she answered “So let’s say in the next two years he finally finds that person. What are you going to do then? Not that he would actually abandon you as a friend, but his time is going to be most likely spent on building a family. Oh! And if he has kids of his own? You guys definitely won’t have time to hang out as much.”

Louis sighed, not really wanting to hear this when he was desperately missing Harry. “Not that I don’t appreciate you telling me I’ll eventually lose my best friend all together,” he said. “But what’s your point, love?”

“That you might as well get used to this feeling,” Bebe answered with a shrug. “Harry is most likely going to find someone eventually right?”

Well… he had considered it at some point. But that really wasn’t at the forefront of his mind. He thought about it much like he thought about a getting a colonoscopy someday: uncomfortable when it happens but no use in dwelling on it until the time comes.

“Of course he is,” Louis grumbled. “But I don’t want to lose him yet. I need a fair warning or summat.”

“That’s not really your choice,” Bebe said with a small smile, “if you haven’t noticed.”

“Well what do you suggest, Ms. Yoda?” he huffed. “What could I possibly do to keep my best friend with me for the rest of my life?”

“Date him,” she said simply.

“What?”

“Date. Him.”

Louis tilted his head towards her, narrowing his eyes in the process. He couldn’t have heard right. “You _must_ be joking.”

“Come on. You clearly care about him, Lou. Why not? It looks like you can’t stand to be away from him for too long, so try to make him yours. Then you get to keep him forever.”

Why not? Because Harry’s his best friend and you don’t just fall for your best friend like that. Your partner is supposed to _become_ your best friend. Not the other way around. Hell, they’d probably make awful partners anyway, right? Isn’t that why they’ve never tried to date in the past? He’s not going to lie to himself and say he hasn’t thought of the possibly in the past, but there was never a surefire reason to even think of that when Harry could never be his boyfriend.

But then again, if it did work out, he’d get to have Harry to himself for the rest of their lives. Some people already thought they were dating even when they made it clear they weren’t. But it was never a bother per say. It was just a side effect of having a best friend of the gender you’re attracted to. Nothing more.

There was just too much history between them to ruin it with a relationship. But Jesus it was hard to ignore the way his stomach tumbled in excitement at the thought of it working out.

“I think this is probably the longest you’ve ever stayed quiet,” she said with a smile that could rival the Cheshire cat. “So I think you have your answer right there. Ask him out and woo him. I think you both deserve it.”

And before Louis could retort, a production assistant came over and asked them to get ready for the next shoot.

“With pleasure, darling,” Bebe said as she got out of her chair. She turned to face Louis, patting his cheek lightly. “Just think about it, _Lewis_. Might as well catch the good fish while you can,” walking away before he could reply.

He still didn’t know what to say, if he was being honest. Date? Harry? He was a beautiful lad, and he’s known how handsome he is since they first met. And he knows him. Knows what he likes, what he hates, what makes his dimples come out. He knows Harry. But even if he is his best friend, that doesn’t mean Harry would want him in that way to begin with. Hell, Louis isn’t even that sure it would be a good idea either.

“Louis?” he heard Bebe calling out from somewhere.

But he was getting too ahead of himself anyways. Right now he had to work. Shoot first, relationship crisis later.

“Coming, love!” he shouted before sprinting out of his chair.

*

“Oh! I’m so sorry, lad,” a man said from behind. “Didn’t mean to bump into you like that.”

As he looked up from his phone, Louis barely felt someone brush on him, so he turned around with a smile to find an old man standing behind him. They were both standing off to the side of the pastry counter waiting for their orders. He was wearing a blue sweater vest, the kind that was clearly knitted with care by a loved one. Thick brown glasses sat comfortably on his nose, and white hair combed neatly on his head. “No worries, sir,” he said. “It can happen to anyone.”

The man smiled as he looked him over. “Well you look pretty comfortable. Just came from a work out? You young ones are always bouncing about in those funky clothes.”

“No,” Louis said with a laugh as he glanced down at what he was wearing. It was just a pair of vetements joggers with a matching jumper. “I just find the clothes comfortable is all.”

“I see,” the man said with a nod. “I’m Arthur. Do you come here often? I don’t think I’ve seen you around, lad.”

“Actually,” Louis said with a chuckle as he pocketed his phone, “I’m usually around here on Sundays with my best mate, but he’s been in the states for the past few weeks so I haven’ found the time to come here then. Especially on a Thursday like today. My name’s Louis.”

“Ah,” the old man said with a firm nod, clearly happy with the answer. “My wife’s brother is named Louis. Good lad. Never stops talking though, even with dentures,” he said with a chuckle that made Louis laugh, “I hope your friend comes back safe then. My wife is my best friend, and I’d hate to be without her. I’m actually here waiting for her favorite pastry, you see. She just had some back surgery so I’m surprising her with her favorite.”

“Oh how kind,” Louis said. “I hope she’s recovering well. How long have you been together?” He only thought it polite to ask in such cases, especially when he saw the way the old man’s eyes lit up when he mentioned her.

“I’ve been married to her for fifty six years,” he said with a soft smile. “I wouldn’t trade any of those years for anything else. We met while she was studying here – she’s from Senegal – and I’m pretty sure I fell in love from the first moment I saw her. I didn’t want to push anything, though, even though I wanted to court her. And she would go back to her home country for half of the year, so we mainly corresponded over letters. One day, she wrote me a letter saying someone from home was asking for her hand in marriage, and she wasn’t sure if she should accept or not. Naturally, I didn’t want her to marry someone else, but I said she should accept if she feels it was right. But during her next visit in London, we were out walking in a park under the moonlight, and a proposal just slipped out of me. Before I could apologize for being so forward, she accepted. Three children, seven grandchildren, and two great-grandchild later, I’d say I’m happy I proposed when I could.”

“That sounds…” he trailed off breathlessly. He wished Harry was there to hear that story with him, because he’s sure the younger man would’ve been in tears and already hugging Arthur for no reason. Now, Louis hasn’t been necessarily against marriage. He just never considered it for himself. Why settle down with one person when he could have fun with no commitment? But hearing Arthur talk about his wife like that made him wonder if that’s the kind of love Harry was looking for. “Wonderful,” he said as he took a deep breath, knowing some tears had formed in the corners of his eyes. “Truly wonderful.”

“Slice of cherry pie!” a cashier called out, almost startling them both as Arthur turned towards it.

“Well,” he said. “That’s my order. It’s been a pleasure talking to you, Louis. I hope to see you around with your friend someday.”

“When he gets back home,” Louis smiled with a nod, “I’ll be sure to tell him we have to come here during the rest of the week and run into you.”

Arthur laughed as he nodded and walked away.

“Here’s your order of pumpkin pie, Mr. Tomlinson!” the cashier said cheerily.

“Thank you,” he smiled, quickly taking the paper bag and almost running out of the shop. He was still a little emotional from hearing the love story of the century, but he knew he had to get going and made sure no one saw him.

Not that anybody he knew was around, but he couldn’t let anyone find out he actually bought a slice of Harry’s stupid pumpkin pie. And once he got back to his flat, he didn’t even know what the plan was for the dumb slice. Eat it? Watch it sit on his counter? Possibly give it a lick? Who the fuck knows.

For now, he gave it a quick whiff and stuck it in his fridge. And decided to mope on the couch over his next plans of misery.

As he sat back, he glanced to one of the pictures on the mantle over his fireplace. A baby faced Harry, smushed next to Louis, both of them in matching jumpers that Harry’s mum had bought for them.

That was taken during Louis’ birthday party, a few months after they first met. He had hated the fact he wasn’t going to be with Harry for his birthday, and almost spent the day moping back in Doncaster had it not been for his mum. But as Christmas Eve wore on, they got a surprise ring on their doorbell, and there was Harry with a cake in one hand and a birthday gift in the other. Louis never felt so happy to see him, and from that day on he knew Harry had to be in his life forever.

They had been inseparable since the very first day they met, on that fateful October evening. Louis laughed to himself as the memory played in his head.

_2012_

_Louis walked down the stairs, bopping along to whatever music was coming from one of the open doors down the hallway. It was Halloween night, and he had already been to all the good parties around campus. With his face painted white and the fake blood coming from his mouth, he thought he made a respectable Dracula in every sense. But given that it was past midnight, he thought his cock needed to get some action now, and who better than one of the finest freshmen he saw on campus earlier that day: David something something. Getting last names and all that didn’t really matter when you just wanted to get into a hot blonde’s pants for one night._

_“Number 26… Number 28!” he grinned as he looked around for the key to open the door. David had said he kept a spare under the mat, and there it was. _

_Once he jabbed the key into the lock, he pushed the heavy door open with a creek, eyes adjusting to the darkness. There were two beds in the room, one clearly empty while the other with a lump of a person on top of it._

_“David?” he whispered aloud, shutting the door behind him as he walked over. All he got back was a soft snore and given that the man had made it very clear beforehand what he wanted to do with him, Louis figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to strip down to his pants and climb in behind him. _

_David’s head was in between two pillows, probably still snoring away. Which was funny, because he could have sworn he had just seen him at a party not even an hour ago. First years can’t really hold their liquor anyways._

_But he didn’t come here to give him a talking, especially now that his cock was beginning to notice the warm body beside him. He slid his arm across the other man’s chest, nuzzling into his neck as he tried to wake him again. “David,” he murmured. “Wake up already.”_

_Finally the other man was beginning to wake up and turn around. “Wha-“_

_Louis wasn’t entirely sure what happened next, but a man who did not look like David suddenly sat up and started screaming like a woman in labor. Which only made Louis fall off the bed as he leaned back in shock and landed with a hard thump on the floor. And the next thing he knew that same man started spraying something in his face which made his eyes burn. _

_“Who are you?” the man cried, still spraying his face with the burning liquid. _

_Louis couldn’t even see straight at this point, so all he could do was yell back and moan as he tried to rub his eyes. “I’m blind! I’m blind!” he shouted back, already set on ever recovering his vision ever again. “What the fuck are you doing, person that isn’t David?”_

_“David?” the relatively deep voice came. “You thought I was David? He’s my roommate-”_

_“Roommate?” Louis yelled, trying to rub his eyes. “He told me his roommate is a nerd that will just be in the library all-”_

_“I am not a nerd!” the man shouted as he threw a pillow at him._

_“AHHHHHH!” was all Louis could say as the pain became unbearable, and that’s when the man seemed to realize what he had done._

_“Oh fuck,” he heard him curse, and suddenly Louis felt himself getting dragged to god knows where. It had to be some place where water was being poured into his eyes as he tried to clear his vision. _

_Eventually, the night ended with both of them sitting in the common room of the dorm. Louis on one side of the couch while the other man was sitting firm against the other end. _

_“So is this how you greet all your guests?” Louis murmured, using a water bottle to splash more water into his eyes. “Just try to murder them with some blinding poison?” _

_He still couldn’t see the man, but he heard a huff. “It wasn’t poison. It was just an old Burberry perfume that my sister gave me. My pepper spray was in my backpack, unfortunately. Or maybe… fortunately for you.”_

_“I’ve never been pepper sprayed,” Louis grumbled as he rolled his eyes in the man’s direction, “and I didn’t think I would ever have my life threatened like this on Halloween night of all times.” _

_“Threatened?” the man gobbled, brows knotted furiously. “What else am I supposed to do when I find a strange man in my bed? Just allow him to do what he does all the other first years?”_

_Louis paused his dramatic water pouring, wondering if his face paint was gone by now. “Wait,” he blinked in the direction of the man. “You know me?” _

_“Of course I do,” the man scoffed. Now that his eyes had most of their vision back, Louis could see his would-be attacker more clearly. The man had a mop of curly hair on his head, the ringlets falling just past his ears. Thick, black framed glasses sitting on his nose, green eyes sitting behind them with a scowl with pink full lips firmly pouted. He was wearing a simple Fleetwood Mac t-shirt from one of their tours, loose gym shorts on his bottom, legs curled up to his chest, rainbow socks on his feet. He looked like a baby deer really, with a mix of frog in him. Louis had a feeling that baby face would make him look more tadpolish once he smiled, but for now he was met with a squinted stare that looked ready to murder him. “You’re Louis Tomlinson. You’re a third year, and you’re a proper… Don Juan is a nice way to put it. You’ve probably slept with a quarter of the first year gays and we’re barely done with October. Given your reputation, you’d probably want to conquer another quarter by the time this semester ends.”_

_Louis couldn’t help but chuckle. So his reputation was known around campus. “Can you really blame me for wanting to have fun?” he asked innocently. Was this lad straight? So his judgements were coming from that point of view and not necessarily the promiscuity of his life? He couldn’t think of any straight men that slept in rainbow socks, though._

_“If you call sleeping with someone once and not bothering to return their calls ‘fun’, then I’ll have none of it, thanks. Like the God that is Britney said: ‘you got the swagger of a champion, too bad for you, you just can’t find the right companion.” _

_Oh, definitely gay. With good taste as well. But quoting the princess of pop wasn’t going to make this conversation any easier. “Says a man who’s probably still a virgin and doesn’t know what he’s missing out on,” he countered. _

_The man scowled back harder at him. “That’s none of your business,” he muttered. “Besides, I don’t care what opinion a man who can’t even date men his own age has of me.” _

_Louis rolled his eyes. “As if two years is a big age difference! And the reason I make myself available to you newbies is because I’ve already slept with all the available men in my own class. It’s no fun sleeping with someone twice, believe me.”_

_“Ha,” the other man scoffed, glasses slipping down his nose a bit before he pushed them back up. “You’re probably are just bad in bed and don’t want your partners to tell you. It adds to the ‘mystery’ of whatever your persona is.” _

_“If that was the case,” Louis preened as he threw his head, “then your roommate David wouldn’t have been begging me to fuck him in his bed tonight based on my reputation. And he actually did beg earlier today, on his knees. In the loo of the library,” he added with a smug grin._

_The other man made a gagging sound. “David can do what he wants on his own time. Just don’t tell me. You’ve probably had more partners than Zeus at this point.”_

_“Zeus?” Louis squawked. “You’re going to compare me to the biggest slut in Greek mythology? I’m nothing like him.” _

_“You’re right,” the man said with a head nod, Louis raising an eyebrow at seeing him concede so easily. “Zeus didn’t discriminate on what he stuck his cock into, and you’re as gay as Boy George. So excuse me, you’re just a gay slut. Maybe Narcissus would suit you better.”_

_“Narcissus?” he cried. Louis didn’t know why exactly he cared about the opinion this random lanky boy had about him, but something within him was pulling his emotions to make it right. “Boy, you do know how to shower a man with compliments. It’s truly a wonder you’re dateless on Halloween night.”_

_“I have a midterm tomorrow,” the other man stated. “Excuse me if I value my studies instead of trying to have meaningless hookups with strangers.”_

_“Midterm for what?” Louis grumbled, still very aware that his eyes were aching. “Being a judgmental prick?” _

_And at that, the other man started to laugh. A giggle escaped his throat, and Louis looked over to find the man trying to cover his smile. _

_“What’s so funny?” _

_“Well,” the man began, “you’re not entirely wrong. That’s basically what my major is if you ask the right people.” _

_“Your major is in fact ‘I’m going to judge others for having meaningless sex’?” Louis really wanted to know where this was going._

_The man shook his head. “No,” he sniggered again. “My major is in Art. Judging is part of my studies. Judging, writing papers on what I judge. And since my midterm if for my Classics class, I guess I’m just seeing patterns the Greek gods had with some local folk like you. Mankind doesn’t really evolve much.” _

_Louis blinked back at him. “All I’m getting from that is that the gods were sluts and so am I? Is that what you’re saying?”_

_The other man shrugged, the tips of his fingers going under the rim of his glasses to rub one of his eyes. “Maybe. I don’t even know what I’m saying, since I’m supposed to be asleep right now. Not talking to the Casanova of campus.”_

_“I could be showing you my slutty skills if you hadn’t tried to blind me to death,” Louis murmured, and he wasn’t totally lying. The man sitting in front of him was attractive, and had they had met in a different way, Louis would’ve been using every trick in his book to get in his pants._

_And in true nerd fashion, the other man blushed at the comment. “No thank you,” he chuckled. “I’m not a one-night stand kind of lad.” _

_Louis shrugged. Worth a shot. “Hopeless romantic then?” he offered._

_The man nodded. “I’d like to think so. I haven’t watched Pretty Woman a million times for nothing.”_

_Why didn’t that surprise him? “I guess in this scenario,” Louis said. “I’d be your slut of the night that you end up rescuing.” And if this first year did have a lot of dough in his bank account, that would definitely be a plus. _

_And at that, the other man let out a honking laugh that shook his entire body, legs flailing in front of him and almost kicking Louis’ thigh. “No,” he said breathlessly. “One, I don’t rescue anyone. Two, you sure as hell don’t want to be rescued from your slutty life. And three, I’m Julia Roberts in every scenario.”_

_Now it was Louis’ turn to laugh, because this man was absolutely ridiculous in every sense, but he’s never felt so endeared for a total stranger. That had to change. “Fine I’ll give you that. Now, can I at least know the name of the man who almost murdered me tonight?” _

_“Oh,” the man perked up as he crawled towards him. “I’m Harry Styles,” he said as he held his hand out._

_“Nice to meet you, Harold,” Louis said, shaking it. “Now I know who to sue for my medical bills.” _

_Harry giggled as he sat back. “You won’t. Just shag a rich CEO that can cover that for you.” _

_“You know I’m not actually a prostitute right?” Because it looks like Harry wasn’t too convinced he wasn’t at this point._

_And as he predicted, Harry did look like a frog when he smiled. Except this frog had dimples, adorable dimples. And the only truly green part of him was his eyes. “I know,” he giggled breathlessly. “But I’m still amazed that you’ve managed to not get in my pants on a night you were looking to pull.”_

_And honestly, Louis was amazed by that too. Why didn’t he even attempt to see what kinds of noises would come out of that pretty mouth as he ate him out? _

_“Even Casanova needs a night off,” Louis said with a grin. “Besides, maybe I’d rather keep someone like you as a friend and not scare you off so fast.”_

_Harry’s brows shot up to his forehead, blinking back at him with wide eyes. “You want to be friends?” _

_Louis shrugged. “Even if you attacked me the first second you met me, which I don’t even blame you for because I would’ve done the same, I think you’re somewhat of a nice person. I’m taking this history class that I just don’t get, so having an Art major for a friend wouldn’t be too bad.” _

_“So you want to use me,” Harry scoffed with a grin. _

_“Not in the way you probably need it,” Louis answered with a pointed stare, watching Harry’s cheeks blush once he understood what he meant. _

_“Shut up,” he muttered. “I’d prefer a friendship over that.” _

_“So is that a yes?” _

_“Louis,” Harry said, sitting up a bit straighter as he looked him in the eye. “I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.”_

_“I think it might be too,” Louis smiled. He had a few friends of his own, but he hadn’t considered finding one in the first years. And certainly not one so attractive. Even when he was giving him his best frog like grin, lips twitching as if they itched to say something._

_“Got something to say, curly?”_

_“Do you know what movie that’s from?” _

_Louis blinked back at him. “What’s from?” _

_“The line I just said. ‘Louis, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship’?”_

_“That’s from a movie?” Of course this boy had to be a film nerd too. _

_“It’s from Casablanca!” Harry gasped. “And the character he says it to is named Louis as well! Isn’t that funny?”_

_It wasn’t funny at all, since Louis didn’t really laugh at coincidences, but he gave him a chuckle nonetheless. “I guess it is,” Louis laughed, smiling at the dork in front of him._

_Harry grinned back at him, clearly pleased his line was finally understood. “Good. But you’ve really never seen it?” _

_“I took one film class, babe, and I slept through half of it. Films are boring when you have to study them, especially old black and white ones.”_

_“Well,” Harry said. “I could teach you about movies too? I used to find them boring until I learned how to really look at them.” _

_And as Louis stared back at those hopeful green eyes, he knew he was hooked. Whatever they were meant to be, he knew Harry was going to be a part of his life. _

_“I’d like that,” he replied, pulling out his phone to get Harry’s number down, “I’d like that very much.”_

And ever since that moment, they’ve been inseparable. As _best friends_. But why did he feel so pathetic when Harry wasn’t around? This couldn’t possibly be a normal reaction to having him away.

He decided to cook for himself, turning on the radio as he did. Chicken parma ham was the go-to comfort food he made for Harry or himself whenever they needed it. It started when Louis decided to surprise Harry with a mini date night after the younger man had an awful breakup with one of his boyfriends. Harry came back sniffling to his flat, and Louis was already there cooking dinner for him from a random recipe he found online.

So it became their thing, and even though Harry wasn’t there at the moment, Louis needed some comfort food.

As he began to grill the chicken, he noticed Roman Kemp was on the air right now. Turning up the volume of his speakers, he decided to listen in.

_“Next up we have a song that came as a special request. Stephanie, your girlfriend just wants to let you know how much you mean to her after going from best friends to girl friends in a matter of five years. She loves you, and dedicates this song to you on your special anniversary.”_

Toto’s “Hold the Line” started playing, and Louis leaned back against the sink as he listened to the lyrics.

_“It's not in the way that you hold me_   
_ It's not in the way you say you care_   
_ It's not in the way you've been treating my friends_   
_ It's not in the way that you stayed till the end_   
_ It's not in the way you look or the things that you say that you'll do”_

He didn’t know why, but hearing those lyrics being sung just tugged at his heartstrings.

_“Hold the line!  
Love isn’t always on time!”_

And as the melody wrapped itself around him, Louis felt like he was suffocating. “Love?” he managed to whisper. Love. He was in love with Harry. He. Was. In. Love. With. Harry.

He thought about what Bebe had told him the other day. Date him, she said. But it’s Harry. Friends aren’t supposed to fall for each other. There’s a reason they never got together in the first place. Wasn’t there?

That’s the question he pondered all through the night, especially as he lay in his own bed scrolling through old pictures on his phone. He had a specific album just for Harry and him, and it had over four thousand pictures and videos. And more often than not, from their shared holidays around the world.

For Harry’s twenty fourth birthday, Louis decided to take him to a resort in Hawaii. They took the rest of the gang as well, but as usual the pair stayed together for most of the holiday. They went snorkeling together, hiked up a mountain, went jet skiing. If it was something exciting to do, Harry and Louis were doing it. But in Louis’ mind, nothing beat the way Harry looked when they were lying on the warm sand watching the sunset together.

And he gets to remember it all the time, because he took a photo of that very moment. So there he was, years later, sighing as he looked at it. Harry’s hair was up in a messy bun for the entire day, and he finally gave up and let it down when they rested on the beach. The soft glow of the sky highlighted his features so well. Not to mention how… fit he looked just laying there in his tiny yellow shorts.

It didn’t help that in an effort to stop getting turned on by such a pic Louis ended up swiping to photos from Harry’s birthday party instead. And it was unfortunate because Harry spent that party happily drunk while scantily clad in a tight speedo with shells covering his nipples, covered in rainbow glitter that Niall had dumped on him earlier in the night. Louis had seen his four nipples more than enough times during their friendship, but seeing him looking like a total minx with his nipples suggestively covered just stirred things in him that he didn’t think possible.

And it really stirred things, because he had been feeling a tightening in his pants as he scrolled, and he looked down to see he was indeed hard from innocent picture scrolls of Harry.

So it was safe to say he was truly, honestly, totally fucked. Especially since he desperately needed to get laid. Now. But it was essentially pointless since he found it boring without Harry to see after. How could he even think of getting in bed with someone else when all he wanted was his best friend?

Then Louis got an idea. And awful idea, really. But he had to do something about the situation in his pants.

Without a second thought, he threw his phone aside and reached for his laptop on the nightstand, digging through the drawer with his other hand. After he found the lube, he sucked in a breath and began to type in exactly what he needed at the moment: “Long haired man with glasses sucks cock”.

His finger hovered over the enter key, as if it was the final straw of sanity left in his purely platonic friendship with Harry. Once he pressed that, there wasn’t going to be a way he could go back to thinking of his best friend as simply a friend. Jacking off to him brought on an entirely new realm of their relationship, whether Harry wanted to join him or not was another question.

But he thought with his other aching head, and firmly pressed the key. Hundreds of videos popped up, stroking himself through his joggers as he scrolled through. And funny enough, he found a guy with long brown hair that was sucking a fat cock in the thumbnail and quickly clicked on it.

After getting down to his birthday suit and almost bathing himself in lube, he was already panting heavily as he eased his hand over himself, watching the way the man bobbed furiously over the cock. He closed his eyes as he imagined Harry doing the same, thinking the noises coming from the screen were that of his best friend.

Even after ten years, he still had no idea what Harry’s sex noises were. They always made sure they weren’t around each other if they were getting laid, so not even on accident could Louis have found out. Now he wondered how he sounded, if he was as loud and made nasty sounds as the man in the video.

_“Come on my face,”_ he heard a raspy voice say, opening his eyes to see the man had pulled back from sucking, sticking his tongue out as he waited for the shot. And once he remembered how Harry looked when he was begging for some vodka straight from the bottle with his tongue out, that pushed him over the edge. He came into his fist just as the other man from the video did, coating the long-haired man’s glasses with come.

“Shit,” he whispered out loud. He was definitely in love.

*

Louis has done a lot of stupid stuff in his life. He once threw a party while his mum was away and forgot she could see the photos on Facebook. He once drunkenly kicked a football into a window of an abandoned building, forgetting there was a policeman right around the corner. He also forgot to wear condoms sometimes, drank too much he almost went into a coma, all that jazz. He’s made a lot of stupid decisions in his life.

Getting the complementary tattoo to the one your best friend has on his own forearm has to take the cake though.

Especially when he doesn’t even know if his best friend will love him back. But after jacking off to porn that looked like him, he knew Harry was permanently embedded in his heart. That was probably the best sex he had gotten in weeks, and he didn’t know whether to be happy or bummed it was with his own hand. Combine that with the Harry shaped hole he felt in his soul that was building in the last month, he knew he was utterly, helplessly, totally in love. And, of course, the only way to remedy that was going to get _the_ dagger tattoo the very next morning.

And now, about eight hours later, he’s sitting back on his couch with a fresh wrap around his arm. Said dagger tattoo was a success, and hurt like a bitch. How the hell Harry not only got his tattoos but enjoyed the process is beyond him. Well, he knew he had a pain kink, so it wasn’t all that surprising.

His mind went back to when Harry got his rose, all happy that he was finally getting a flower tattooed on him.

_2015_

_“He can go fuck himself for all I care,” Harry sniffed as he hugged himself tighter._

_“That he can,” Louis nodded, putting an arm around his friend as they walked to the tattoo shop. It was early March, and Harry had just found his longtime boyfriend in bed with another man. William begged him to stay, but Harry was having none of it and promptly broke it off. But Louis was there when Harry finally broke down at his flat, sobbing over wasting his time with someone who didn’t even care for him._

_That was a week ago though, and now Harry was determined to move on. He declared he was going to get the rose tattoo he originally wanted to get as a complementary one to William’s potential dagger tattoo. They were even scheduled to get the tattoos at the same time, being the romantic Harry was and all. Now he was heading to the appointment not with that scumbag, but with Louis instead. _

_“Whoever I end up with,” Harry declared in a firm voice, “they’re going to have to get that dagger tattoo to show they love me. If I’m not worth the needle, then he’s not worth my time.”_

_Louis wanted to say that he could fall in love with a guy that didn’t like getting tattooed in the first place, but he’d rather let Harry mope and let out in troubles in peace. No use in bringing logic to a man that has one thing in mind._

_So he accompanied him to get the rose done, watching in awe as the artist carefully piercing his skin with the ink. And he’d always remember the joy in Harry’s face as he looked at the finished rose, hopeful he’d find someone to get the dagger with as well._

And now, years later, Louis found himself with his first ever tattoo: a dagger. The one to complement Harry’s rose. He was truly in shit.

Once he got home, he thought he’d mope around his flat for the day. Life was utterly boring without Harry, he realized, so he’d rather hibernate until he came back. And lucky for him, Harry was due back next week so the wait wouldn’t be too long. He didn’t even care to tell him about his feelings right away; he just needed to have him around again in the meantime.

His phone beeped beside him, interrupting his thoughts as he swiped the screen to see Niall’s text bubble appear.

**Niall: We’re playing footie in an hour. See ya there!**

Footie. Good. That was more than enough to distract him. He didn’t want to think of the most painful commitment to his friend that he ever made. And even if Harry did reject him, he knew that pain would be a thousand times worse than getting the dagger lasered off. Maybe he was the masochist between the after all.

*

Except, it was horrible at distracting him. All he could think about was Harry. A man wearing a similar jumper Harry liked? Harry. A child with curly hair running around the playground as his mum watched in the distance? Possible child between him and Harry. Random leaf with dimples laying on the grass? Harry. Harry. Harry. He thought he could focus on the game and not worry about what was happening with Harry, but once he missed an easy goal the boys decided to stop playing and descended on him.

“What’s wrong, Lou?” Liam said with his arms crossed. “Not to be harsh, but you’re playing like someone who’s never touched a ball in his life.”

And if he had to be honest, that was insulting to hear since he’s been able to run circles around Liam since they met. But if his friend was saying that, it had to be true, which made it all the worse.

“Something on your mind?” Zayn said, handing them all water bottles from his bag.

“It’s nothing,” He murmured, not wanting to meet their eyes. He stuck his hands into the pockets of his trainers instead.

“If it’s nothing it wouldn’t have affected your game like that,” Niall replied with an eyeroll as he wiped his brow with his forearm.

Well, it would be nice to tell someone else what has happened. But wouldn’t they judge him for being so pathetic? Maybe just mention it as a simple crush, nothing more. They didn’t have to know he was utterly in love with him.

“I… think I have feelings for someone.”

“So you finally realized it was Harry?”

“What?” he stammered, looking up at them. He didn’t even catch who said it, just that it was said and none of the glances were looking at him with surprise.

“Pay up, Li,” Zayn smiled. He watched as Liam groaned, pulling out his wallet.

“You were betting on me?” he frowned as he looked around the group. He couldn’t have been _that_ obvious.

“Only fair I win some money after seeing you suffer for the past few weeks,” Zayn chuckled. “Honestly, Lou, I still can’t believe it took you this long.”

“When I first met you both,” Niall interjected. “I had to ask Zayn and Liam if you both weren’t an item. Hell, you literally act like a married couple, and you’ve even known each other longer than these two,” he nodded towards them.

“I-“ he huffed, mildly off put that he was that obvious. “Fine. Yes. I think I’m in love with Harry and it’s fucking killing me to not see him.”

He was met with wide eyes around the group, Liam’s looking comically large as his jaw dropped the farthest. Ah, so they thought he was simply infatuated and not willing to marry Harry the minute he stepped off the plane. Fucking fantastic.

“And what brought this on?” Niall inquired.

“I might have realized how much he meant to me in his absence,” Louis mumbled as looked down to kick a rock. “My hookups started getting boring, and I just felt miserable without him. I put two and two together after a talk with Bebe.”

“So you mean to tell me,” Zayn began, “it took Harry flying to New York for a month for you to realize you’re in love with him?”

“The longest we’ve been apart from each other is two weeks!” he retorted. It’s not his fault he wasn’t used to being apart for so long.

“Ah Australia,” Niall nodded. “Pretty sure I had to lock Harry in his flat to stop him from flying to see you.”

“How do you know it’s not separation anxiety?” Liam said, finally talking as all heads turned to him. “You’ve never been apart for this long and you just don’t know how to deal with it. Might not even be a crush.”

Oh. It was definitely a crush. More than a crush. Separation anxiety was simply missing the person you’re always with because you’re used to having them around. It did not involve day dreaming about them or wanting to fuck them senseless _while_ missing them so much.

“Because…” Louis trailed off. “I can’t sleep with anyone anymore! Before it used to be I’d get laid, and then I’d see Harry. But now if I can’t see Haz, I have no interest in getting laid. It’s maddening!”

“Sounds like you were using Harry as the emotional aspect of sex,” Zayn said with a nod. “You were able to have meaningless sex before you met Harry, but after your friendship started you obviously found him to be emotionally stimulating while others gave you the physical stimulation. Now that Harry is gone, the physical aspect isn’t exciting to you anymore.”

Louis gagged as he watched Liam cozy up to his fiancé in response. “I love when you talk psychology, baby,” he giggled, making the other man blush.

“I might as well put my minor to use when it comes to Louis’ shit,” Zayn smiled as he kissed his cheek. Honestly, they were too much. But Louis still felt his heart yearn to do that with Harry someday.

“Excuse me,” Louis huffed as he waved a hand at them. “I’m the one with a problem here, so instead of psychoanalyzing me please give me solutions if you don’t mind.”

“Go for it,” Niall said with a shrug. “You’ll never find out if you don’t ask him out first.”

Well, that probably was the best answer, and the most obvious one at that. But he couldn’t just go on a whim when it came to his relationship with Harry. “But what if we mess it up?” Louis asked earnestly, running his hands through his hair. “I can’t lose him. I’ve never even thought about him in a romantic or sexual way until like two days ago! How the fuck am I supposed to tell him that our friendship isn’t enough anymore? You can’t just date your best friend all willy nilly.”

“There’s nothing wrong with dating your best friend,” Zayn replied, waving his engagement ring in the air. “And if it didn’t work out, I think you two would still be friends.”

“But,” Liam piped up. “You also have to consider if Harry wants what you want.”

“Thanks, Li,” he said dryly. “Make me doubt my worthiness of him. That’ll make me feel better.”

“What he means,” Zayn cut in, “is that you basically know what Harry wants in life. He wants a family. You know that. If you’re willing to give him that, then I think you should go for it.”

“If not,” Liam finished. “I think it’s best you don’t pursue anything. Harry’s had his heart broken enough, and I don’t think he’d want you to be the cause of another one. He does not want the casual stuff you do; he wants more. A man who can create that family he’s been dreaming of, like he’s told us countless times.”

Family? Could he imagine marrying Harry, starting a family with him? He never put much thought into marriage before, especially when Harry told him he had to settle down with someone, but it never occurred to him to think of Harry at the end of the aisle with him. Hell, for all he knew he kept rejecting the thought of marriage because Harry wasn’t marrying him.

And his first thought of seeing a child was “I want to have one with Harry” so that had to mean something right? “Yes,” he whispered. “I want a life with Harry. Marriage, kids… he’s the only want I want that with.” He’d serenade Harry with Abba’s “Take A Chance on Me” if he had to.

“Really?” Zayn grinned. “So you’ll ask him out then?”

Louis worried his lip, then looked up at them, nodding.

Liam let out a yelp and brought them all in for a group hug, jumping for joy in the middle of the field.

“Lou is finally a family man!” Zayn yelled into the air above them.

“And pigs aren’t flyingggggg,” Liam sang.

Louis wanted to groan at the sappiness, but he couldn’t deny how good it felt to hug it out. He wanted to do more than just jump for joy when it came to

“Okay we have some planning to do,” Niall said. “He gets here next week, and you need to tell him then.”

Louis gulped. “So soon?” Well, it wasn’t a bad idea. Because he knew he'd want to jump his bones as soon as possible. His body wasn’t letting him forget of his self-imposed celibacy thanks to Harry.

“Yes!” Liam said. “There’s no point in waiting any longer.”

“It’s pretty simple, Lou,” Zayn said as he patted his back, “Go meet him somewhere, take him out for a stroll, confess your love, and then come have dinner with us so we can celebrate.”

Meet him before dinner, confess feelings, date him for the rest of his life. Sounds simple enough.

“Okay,” Louis swallowed. “Sounds doable. I think I can do that.”

“Great!” Niall said. “Now that we’ve solved your problem, maybe you can kick some ass on the field.”

“Yes!” Zayn cheered, already pocketing his water bottle.

But before they started to play again, Liam posed a question. “I’m curious, Lou,” he said, “you’ve been friends for ten years now, and you two never had any close calls?”

“Close calls?” he asked, knowing full well what it meant. He just didn’t feel like telling them just like that.

“You know,” Zayn said with an eyeroll. “Any times you almost hooked up but you didn’t.”

“Well…”

He then remembered their summer in Jamaica. How kissable Harry’s lips looked, but he knew he was forbidden fruit. He wasn’t about to get kicked out of the garden of their friendship over a simple temptation like that.

“We almost kissed in Jamaica,” he said simply with a shrug. “That’s the farthest it’s gone.”

“Jesus Christ and I thought _I_ was a prude,” Niall scoffed.

“Shit,” Zayn whispered. “So you almost _only_ kissed? That’s it? No drunk one night stands that turned into a few more just for fun? Or some rebound sex after his breakups?”

Louis narrowed his eyes. “Not everyone has you and Liam’s love story, Zee.”

“But…” Liam trailed off. “You’ve never… accidently snogged?”

“I would have thought you got the very least got some sloppy hand jobs in there,” Niall added as he pointed to the couple. “These two probably lasted two months before they started hooking up for fun while still maintaining their friendship. And you haven’t even seen Harry’s dick? Hard to believe, mate.”

As if Louis didn’t know. He still remembered a late night during his final year of uni when he went to the library to meet up with Harry, bringing him some snacks for his study breaks before exams. Little did he know he was going to be traumatized by seeing Zayn on his knees sucking Liam off behind some old bookshelves. Louis simply grabbed the book Harry needed and ran away as fast as possible, mentally planning to send them a bill for his future therapy.

“I’ve seen his dick,” Louis admitted. “But that was because we were in a changing room before we went swimming in Lake Como. We’ve never done anything else.”

Liam’s jaw dropped. “So when you say you were sleepwalking and ended up in Harry’s tent when we all went to Leeds-”

“You were telling the truth?” Zayn continued with a squeak.

“Yes?” Leeds. 2011. All of the lads had decided to go to the festival and they each pitched their own tent. Somehow, Louis just managed to find himself in Harry’s tent every morning because he sleepwalked. Then he somehow woke up with Harry in his arms. Awkward boners and all. But that’s as far as it went. “That’s all that happened.”

“And when you went into the shower to ‘help Harry because he got shampoo in his eyes’ you actually went in because he got shampoo in his eyes?” Zayn asked.

2014\. Louis was in between flats and Harry offered him some space to crash. One morning Harry was showering and Zayn happened to be there, but once Harry was yelling about the shampoo in his eye, Louis knew he had to go help him.

“He was screaming for help and you expected me to ignore him? You know how sensitive his eyes are!” As if they didn't know how protective he could get over Harry.

“And the night when we were at that mansion party outside of London, those _were_ flour stains on his dress pants and not your cum?” Niall asked.

Louis blushed at the memory. He couldn’t remember which house they were in, but someone rich enough to have three swimming pools was throwing an after party to the Burberry show Louis had walked in. Of course he decided to take Harry as his date to celebrate, along with the rest of the crew, but around two in the morning he lost sight of his best friend. Badly needing to take a wee, he walked around the house until he finally found Harry in the massive kitchen, baking a lemon cake for no good reason. Somehow, Louis only proved to be a distraction to his efforts and there may have been some ingredients thrown at each other. They made up in time to eat the cake together, telling bad jokes as they took bites of it.

He vaguely remembers Niall smirking at him once they were all leaving, nodding down at Harry’s pants. Maybe he didn’t make it so clear that they were actually baking, and it wasn’t Harry’s cookie.

Louis still groaned though. “Of course not! In the ten years of our friendship, we’ve never hooked up. Ever. I don’t know why that’s so hard to believe, especially when Harry had his boyfriends.”

“Wow,” Zayn murmured. “I could’ve sworn you two were shagging in secret while he was single at least.”

“Well we weren’t,” Louis huffed, picking up the football from the ground. “So are we going to play or not? We’ve all agreed that I need to talk to Harry once he comes back, and trying to prove that we’ve never shagged isn’t helping anyone.”

They all shrugged in agreement and went back to the field to play. Louis was extremely proud of himself for tripping Liam about four times and outrunning Zayn when he tried to get revenge. In all, they spent a pretty good afternoon getting mucked up on the field, and Louis actually felt himself relaxing.

But as Liam and Zayn left the field after saying goodbye, Niall pulled him aside to speak in almost whispers.

“Okay,” he said, looking around as if to make sure no one could hear him speak, “don’t ask how I know this. But you need to trust me.”

Louis arched an eyebrow. Niall had his quirks (even if they weren’t close to how random Harry’s were), so he knew he could handle whatever he was going to say. “Go on.”

“I didn’t want to say this until I knew you felt the same,” he paused, “but there may or may not be a strong possibility that Harry feels the same as you.”

He couldn’t have heard right. “The same as me?” Louis squawked. “Harry told you he’s- he’s- he has feelings for me? Like may be in love with me?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that,” Niall said firmly with a smile. “All I’m saying is that Harry will most likely return those feelings you’re going to reveal to him.” And without another word, he grabbed his bag and dashed off across the field, leaving Louis standing there to process the life changing information.

Harry had feelings for him? When? Did he ever plan to tell him? At least he knew that this wasn’t a one sided turmoil he was having. Had Harry gone through the same thing? Was he thinking about their friendship when he got those feelings? What even made him realize he had those feelings?

Before Louis could get too ahead of himself, the logical side of his brain told him there was no use dwelling on it for now. He could get the answers to all those questions the minute he finally confesses his own feelings to him.

So until then, he had to simply live with that reality. “Good things come to those who wait,” he muttered under his breath. And hopefully he wouldn’t have to wait for too long, because he couldn’t stop smiling as he walked away towards his own flat, thinking of how good his life would be with Harry.

*

“Shit!” Louis yelled. “Shit! Shit! Shit!”

The day of Harry’s arrival finally came, and Louis was practically launching himself along the walls. Including spilling his tea over his shirt that he planned to wear to go see Harry. His phone beeped with Harry’s special ringtone, so he gave up trying to pat out the stain with napkins as he launched himself to his couch to read the message.

**Harry: Lou! I just got back to my flat.**

**Harry: I’ve missed you so much xxx please tell me you’re free tonight?? I’ve got so much to tell you!**

Louis’ chest bubbled with excitement at seeing those kisses. Harry always sent them, but now they meant something different.

**Louis: I missed you too, love. I was planning to go see you regardless of your plans though, so you’ve already ruined my surprise by asking me out haha**

**Louis: ** **Can we meet at that fancy new place by the bookstore tonight for drinks? The lads invited us for a dinner.**

**Harry: Of course! I have a surprise myself xx**

“Surprise?” he murmured. No matter. All he cared about was seeing Harry. Feelings for who knows how long had been brewing inside him for ages, and he needed Harry to be there when he finally let it out. For both their sakes.

A few hours later, Louis walked down the street in a fresh new shirt (emerald green to remind him of Harry’s eyes) stopping by a flower stand to pick some of Harry’s favorites: daisies. He knew Harry loved it when his dates brought him some, and he was going to properly woo him off his feet. He continued to walk until he was standing in front of _Le Petite Rose,_ taking a deep breath before stepping in.

The place was bustling with people, but the noise level wasn’t too off putting. With the dim yellow light from the overhead lamps, Louis looked around the large area to see if he could find Harry. People were dressed like they just got off work or were meeting other people for drinks; very business casual. So he didn’t feel out of place with his dress shirt and dark jeans. But he still couldn’t find Harry anywhere, frowning as he kept searching.

And then felt his face softening as he spotted him by the bar in the back, looking beautiful with his hair in a bun. As he walked to him, it was as if Harry could feel him approaching and turned at the same time. His face lit up, Louis already seeing the dimples he missed so bad from a mile away. Harry continued to grin as he got up from his seat, looking like he was about to take off running into Louis’ waiting arms. That’s fine. He didn’t mind them just embracing like a wife and soldier who just returned from war; they could do the talking later.

Everything just felt perfect at that moment.

But before Louis could reach him, Harry rolled his eyes and stopped himself. He turned back around and started to pull on the arm of the man sitting next to him, interlacing their hands as they both walked towards Louis now.

“Harry?” he whispered. No this couldn’t be happening. Holding hands meant…

“Oh, Lou!” Harry gushed, giving him a hug that nearly suffocated him. “I missed you so much!”

As much as Louis enjoyed having him in his arms again, breathing in his wonderful scent so close, he couldn’t ignore the man standing next to Harry, a blank smile on his face as he watched them both.

“Who is this?” Louis whispered as he hugged Harry tighter, hoping his tone sounded easy and not menacing.

“Oh!” Harry pulled away quickly, Louis already missing his warmth. “Look at me being rude.” He pulled the man by his hand so the three of them were all closer in personal space than Louis felt comfortable with. “Louis, this is Stephen.”

The man was about Harry’s height, brunette with short hair. He wore a thin red jumper with the sleeves pulled up to reveal his bulging biceps. He was hot, and certainly a sight to look at, but right now Louis wanted to do nothing more than choke him. And not in the sexual way.

“Pleasure to meet you, Louis,” he smiled as he held his hand out, “Harry has told me so much about you.”

And American. “I wish I could say the same,” Louis said airily as they shook hands.

At some point they moved to a standing table, Louis ordering as many shots as he could before they could begin whatever conversation was about to happen. Harry was starting to tell the story of how he met this new man, and Louis didn’t know if he even wanted to be alive by the end of the story.

“So I was just standing there, the rain pouring down, ready to believe that I was going to die soaking in New York,” Harry said breathlessly, “when all of a sudden this man comes to me with a big umbrella. And that was Stephen!” he grinned as he pointed to said man as Louis took another shot, “My hero! He took me to a coffee shop to warm up, we ended up talking, and then he took me back to my hotel. The next few weeks were just spent getting to know each other, and I told him I had to come back here but he didn’t want to let me go. And I said, ‘well it’s not like we’re getting married or something’ and we left it there. But then at dinner, you know what he did?”

Of course he didn’t, but the way Harry was looking at Stephen made his stomach twist.

“He proposed!”

Louis could feel the fake smile being advertised by the alcohol from his face falling. He did what? “Engaged?” he said softly, and that’s when Harry lifted up his hand. And indeed, there was a diamond ring sitting on his finger. “Oh,” was all that he could say.

“We’re engaged!” Harry squealed. “I’m marrying my Prince Charming.”

“That I am,” Stephen grinned, leaning over to give Harry a deep kiss.

Now, Louis has seen Harry with his boyfriends before. Hell, he even introduced Harry to his first boyfriend in uni. He never felt anything when he saw him kiss another man, and there were probably countless times when Harry caught him balls deep inside some random lad when he forgot to knock.

But now that his feelings for Harry were fully realized, he wanted nothing more than to rip Stephen away from Harry and beat him to a pulp for even touching his man. He chose to look in another direction instead, hoping the earth would swallow him whole instead.

“And,” Harry said breathlessly as he pulled away, “Stephen’s grandmother is Scottish and owns a beautiful castle in Glasgow. We’re going to get married there in two weeks!”

And it was at that very moment that Louis wished a meteor would hit him then and there. The pain from that would have nothing on what he was feeling right there.

“And I have something to ask you, Lou,” Harry continued, clearly on a roll to get Louis’ heart shattered into a thousand little pieces. “I know if you ever get married I would expect to be yours, but since I’m getting married now… will you be my best man?”

No. Absolutely not. He couldn’t accept this. Not when he’s just realized his love for Harry. How could he watch him walk down the aisle and marry someone that wasn’t him?

But the way Harry was looking at him just pulled at what was left of his heart. His feelings were one thing, but he never wanted Harry to feel like he wasn’t going to be there for him, no matter what.

“Of course,” he smiled wide, hoping it didn’t look fake. “Anything for you, Haz.”

“Oh thank you!” he squealed as he gave him a hug. Louis nervously looked around as he tried to figure out where to put his hands, given that his fiancé was right there and probably had no idea how tangible their relationship was. Had Harry told him? Well, it’s not like it would be Louis’ fault if he didn’t. That’s what you get for rushing into a marriage like this. “You’re the best,” he heard him whisper against his ear.

He settled on wrapping his hands around his waist like he usually did, hugging him a bit tighter. There was a lump at the back of his throat as he tried to speak. He just took a deep breath instead.

“Always for you,” he croaked out. He could feel his dagger tattoo itching to touch Harry through the layers of clothing, maybe showing itself as proof that he was the perfect match for him instead. But it was hopeless. The rose had picked someone else instead, and it wasn’t the dagger.

*

After the fabulous couple had their own drinks and Louis tried not to drown himself in alcohol, Harry’s stomach started to make sounds.

“Oh shit,” he giggled. “Sorry. Haven’t had a proper meal all day, really.”

“Didn’t you eat once you got home?” Louis asked. It wasn’t like Harry to skip meals. Because he was the one who always got on Louis’ case when he skipped one measly lunch or something.

“We were going to but,” he blushed, looking over at Stephen, “we got a little busy.”

Oh. So they were definitely fucking. Not that Louis ever thought Harry wasn’t actually sleeping with a man he was engaged to (can’t marry someone without knowing how they are in that department), but it still left him uncomfortably nauseous to think about. And he didn’t want to be envying Stephen already, but he’d do anything to be him in this situation.

“Right,” Louis coughed, not meeting his eyes. “Think it’s time to head to Niall’s, yeah? Might as well get some good food in us.”

But as they all walked together, Harry and Stephen holding hands while Louis felt like the awkward third wheel, he suddenly remembered something. The lads didn’t know about Stephen, and he knew none of them would check their phones in time for a warning text.

“I’ll meet you there!” he said to both of them before he took off running.

He ran until he found the door to Niall’s building, not bothering to take the elevator as he took the steps two by two. Sprinting down the hallway until he found Niall’s door, throwing himself against it. “Lads!” he called out as he rapidly knocked. “It’s an emergency!”

A concerned looking Zayn opened the door. “Louis? You alright?” he asked with a quirked eyebrow.

“Where’s Harry?” Liam said as he poked his head out from the living room.

And that’s when the exercise caught up to him, doubling over as he tried to catch his breath. Seeing stars was normal, right? “Stephen…” he wheezed. “Harry.”

“Who the hell is Stephen?” Zayn questioned, leaning down to try to face his upside down head.

“Harry…” he breathed out strenuously, “he’s engaged.”

“You popped the question already?” Liam grinned as he walked over, closing the door.

Louis quickly shook his head, trying to stand up straight again. “Nope. He met a man. In New York. Now they’re getting married.”

He watched as both of the men’s faces fell.

“So you didn’t tell him how you felt?” Zayn asked softly.

Louis only shook his head. “How could I? Once he started talking about Stephen, there was no way I was going to open my heart like that.”

“Oh, Lou,” Liam whispered.

Before they could say anything more, they heard a knock on the door. Zayn walked over to open it, stepping aside to let Harry and Stephen inside.

“Hi everyone!” Harry smiled, Stephen’s arm around him. “It’s nice to see some familiar faces around.”

“Hello there-” Liam began.

“I heard the door!” Niall called out from somewhere in the flat. “Now where are the two lovebirds-“ he froze as he turned the corner.

“Lovebirds?” Harry frowned. “But I haven’t told you about Stephen.”

Liam luckily saved them. “Louis texted Niall before you got here with the news.”

Harry seemed placated, much to Louis’ relief. “Well,” he smiled, turning back to his fiancé, “I might as well introduce you all to Stephen, the man I’m going to marry in two weeks.”

“Lovely to meet you all,” Stephen smiled, holding his hand out as they all quickly shook it.

“Marry?” Niall said, looking at Louis.

“So…” Zayn trailed off.

“Sudden?” Liam continued.

“We didn’t think there was a point in waiting,” Harry said as he leaned into his frame. “And of course I want you all to serve as my groomsman, and Louis has accepted to be my best man.”

“Louis did that?” Niall said, eyeing him. Zayn and Liam looked equally concerned.

“Of course,” Louis said as he plastered a smile. “I’d do anything Harry needs.” He hoped his face didn’t look too heartbroken.

“Well congratulations!” Liam said as he pulled them all in for a hug.

They ended up setting another place for Stephen at the dining table, and of course he had to take Louis’ usual spot that was next to Harry. So he was forced to sit across the table from them, poking at his food while the happy couple was in their own bubble for the night.

Harry gave him glances while they ate, and when their eyes met Louis could see the concern in them. But he was never one to make others worry for him, especially Harry of all people, so he hoped a soft smile would be enough to convince him he was fine.

All through the night, Louis had planned to at least punch Niall for getting his hopes up, but after Harry and Stephen left, he just sank into a nearby couch.

“I’m sorry, Lou,” he heard the Irishman say. “I really thought he liked you.”

“Not enough to stop him from marrying another man though,” he said in a sad tone. “Serves me right, though. I had the perfect man in front of me for years, and I couldn’t realize it until it was too late.”

“That’s just quitter talk,” Zayn said as he sat down next to him.

“What are you on about?” Louis frowned. “He’s getting married, if you haven’t heard.”

“And that doesn’t mean he will,” Zayn said easily. “Look, he asked you to be his best man, right? Then prove to him you’re actually the best man for _him_. Show him you’re better suited for him than Stephen. Make him fall in love with you!”

“You have got to be joking,” Louis huffed. “I’m not about to break up a couple for my own gain. Especially when it comes to Harry. I can’t just ruin his relationship.”

“Oh come on, Lou,” Niall answered with an eyeroll. “Harry’s known this man for like a month? Do you really think he’d choose someone he barely knows over his literal soulmate?”

Soulmate. Did they really think they were soulmates? He’d like to think they were, but it felt nice hearing someone else say it. But since his soulmate was marrying someone else, that just made everything hurt more. Wouldn’t it be to both their benefits for Louis to break them up? He’d like to think so. “Do you really think I could do that?”

“Look,” Liam said. “Harry wants a happily ever after right? Who’s to say Stephen is his Prince Charming when it could really be you?”

“He’s only just met the man, Lou,” Zayn said. “There’s still time for him to realize Stephen is not the man for him – no matter how good their chemistry is, yours is a thousand times more tangible – and that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing! You could be saving him from the greatest mistake of his life.”

Well when they put it that way…

“Fine,” Louis said firmly. “I’ll do it. I’m going to make Harry see that Stephen isn’t the man for him at all, and what he’s really looking for is someone like me.” And he only hoped Harry would come to agree with him.

*

As it turns out, Stephen was only in town for a few days as he had to get back to his job in New York. Which meant Harry spent all his time with him, and Louis didn’t even know if that was a good or bad thing.

He missed his best friend, missed their moments, missed their time together. Even when Harry was dating other men, he still made time for him, making it clear their friendship was still an important part of his life.

But now Harry was going to marry someone. This changed everything.

And the fact that Louis said he would be here for him meant he would do anything Harry asked him to do. Which included giving the happy couple a ride to Heathrow. Which also meant he had to sit in his car while Harry and Stephen kissed goodbye. More like exchange throats, but Louis tried to look in every direction but theirs.

Eventually Stephen waved goodbye and walked to the terminal, Harry waving back as he got back into the car.

“Ready to go?” Louis said as he started the engine, hoping his annoyance wasn’t apparent.

“Yeah,” Harry said, starting to rub his eye. “Let’s go, Lou.”

Louis frowned. “Why aren’t you wearing your glasses love?” He knew his contacts weren’t the most comfortable to wear, which is why he stuck to his glasses most of the time.

“Stephen said he likes me with my contacts in,” the younger man answered with a shrug. “So I thought I’d wear them more often.”

Louis frowned as he drove off. How dare he. Harry looked beautiful with his glasses on, and without of course, but his glasses were almost like a part of him at this point. And he knew Harry loved to carefully pick out the right frame and colors when his prescription changed, so his glasses were basically an extension of him. Not liking his glasses was like not liking Harry. Blasphemous, really.

“I’ll put them on when I get home,” Harry smiled. “Are we still on for Sunday? I’ve missed you, and I felt so bad for leaving you for all this time.”

Louis waved him off, even though he was properly offended that he never had Harry to himself during the week. “Don’t worry about me, love. I’ll see you on Sunday for sure and we’ll have all the time to catch up.”

“Okay,” Harry yawned, leaning his head back against the headrest.

Will their Sunday dates feel the same? Louis wondered. He hoped they would. They still went on their dates when Harry had his boyfriends, but maybe there was an unsaid understanding that those men weren’t going to be around for long. It was different when Harry was basically about to spend the rest of his life with someone who wasn’t Louis. Would he even fit in his life anymore?

“We’re here, love,” Louis said softly once he parked the car in front of Harry’s building.

“Thanks, Lou,” Harry groaned. “I’m just going to nap for a few days before I get back to my usual schedule. See you on Sunday?”

“Yeah,” Louis sighed as he watched him exit the car. “See you on Sunday, Haz.”

*

Sunday came after a long week of meetings with his managers and magazine reps, so Louis was looking forward for some downtime with his best friend. Hopefully, he’d finally get a good idea of how Harry really feels for Stephen, and whether or not there’s potential for a breakup. Who on earth would think it’s a good idea to marry the man you just met, right?

He got Harry’s usual coffee order along with his tea, and walked to the museum. Once he got inside, he quickly went through the special door that went down to the studio rooms. He walked along the halls, listening to other professors working. They worked along to classical music, mostly Beethoven or Bach, but he knew Harry’s studio was close once he heard the distinctive 90s soundtrack growing louder.

_“What is love, baby don’t hurt me, no more.” _

“If only,” he muttered to himself before he walked in the door.

And there Harry was, bent over the painting with his brush in hand. His back was facing him, but he already knew Harry had on that adorable pout he puts on when he’s concentrating.

“Harry?” he called out softly. If he was singing to himself he was always happy to interrupt, but he always felt the need to not disturb his silent time.

And then his best friend turned to him, his glasses finally back. “Lou?” he said, smiling wide.

“Hey, love,” he said as he walked over to him, the younger man already taking off his smock. “I see you have your wonderful glasses back,” he chuckled.

“I’ve got to enjoy my glasses while I can,” he giggled as Louis handed him his coffee. “And see if I can like contacts enough to wear them more often.”

“Do you really think you need to?” Louis asked as he took a sip of his tea. “I know you don’t particularly enjoy putting them on.”

Harry shrugged as he took a sip from his cup, Louis loving the way the steam fogged up his glasses. “I don’t have to,” he answered, “but if Stephen thinks I look nice without my glasses, I’d want to give it a try at least.”

“Well I think you look beautiful with or without glasses,” Louis said firmly. “Though I’m pretty sure I have a soft spot for your old lady spectacles.”

“Heyyy,” Harry giggled, dimples popping, “I’m a grandma remember.”

“Of course, love,” Louis laughed. “Now come on, Professor Styles. We’ve got so much to catch up on.

“Oh!” Harry said, starting to pack up his things. “That reminds me. You don’t mind if we go look at wedding stuff already, right? Like today? I found a shop in Carnaby that sells wedding suits and I desperately need to find my suit before I forget.”

Nothing like suit shopping to tug at Louis’ heartstrings. “We’ll do whatever you want today, Haz. How about we get an early lunch first and then we go shopping yeah?”

“Okay,” Harry said with a small smile. “Let’s go then?”

*

After going to lunch around the area, they went straight to the shop Harry had talked about. They walked in to see an array of suits that were displayed, some with intricate designs and embroidery with others in plain black. Louis adored fashion in his own right and knew what looked good on him, but he’s been clothes shopping with Harry before and he was always unpredictable.

“So what kind of suit were you looking for, Haz?” he asked as he glanced around.

“Well,” Harry murmured. “I was thinking of maybe a suit that reminded me of some of my favorite paintings? Klimt’s ‘The Kiss’ comes into mind. Or maybe Monet? I don’t know.”

“Ah,” Louis nodded. They actually went to see that exhibit together when Louis had a shoot in Austria. Harry took some time off from the museum and decided to tag along, and once Louis had some free time they took a date down to see the painting on display. And he couldn’t forget how Harry’s eyes lit up at the sight. “They do make some interesting artwork on their suits,” he said, “but I don’t think they’d have a suit inspired by Klimt or Monet on such short notice.”

Harry nodded and was about to say something before an attendant from the shop came over.

“Hello there!” the man said. He short and bald, with a very nice mustache that curled at the edges. Wearing a tailored suit with a pocket watch and gold rounded spectacles sitting on his nose, Louis thought he looked like a personification of the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. “My name is Frederick. How may I help you gentlemen?”

“Hello! I’m Harry and I’m looking for a wedding suit,” Harry said with a smile.

“For you both?” Frederick asked, looking over at Louis. He was about to respectfully correct him until he heard Harry giggling next to him.

“Oh no,” he laughed. “This is Louis, and he’s already decided he’ll never marry anyone. I’m getting married soon so I need a wedding suit.”

Is that really what he thought about him? Louis wondered. He just resigned himself to thinking he’d never get married, without really having a discussion on it. Well… it’s not like Louis had ever given any hints that he would ever settle down, so he couldn’t really blame him. He just wondered if Harry thinking that had ever been a decision in whether to pursue a relationship or not. Especially when Louis didn’t even know _when_ his best friend was pining for him.

“I see,” Frederick smiled. “So when is your wedding, Mr. Styles?”

“A week from Saturday actually,” Harry chuckled. “So it’s very short notice.”

“Ah,” the old man said. “Well we don’t have time to make you a custom suit, but you are more than welcome to search through the selection of suits we have along the racks. Some are extras that we might as well sell or orders that were never picked up. Feel free to call me over if you need any help, gentlemen!”

“Alright then,” Louis said. “Let’s dig for your perfect wedding suit, love.”

Harry nodded and made for one of the walls while Louis started at the other end of the rack. He tried to think of which suits would look the best on Harry, but nothing really screamed out to him. Luckily he saw that Harry had pulled a few suits to try on, so all wasn’t hopeless.

“You probably think I’m crazy,” Harry said suddenly, glancing over as he moved hangers along. “Don’t you.”

“What?” he frowned.

“Getting married so fast so someone I only just met.”

Louis could hear the vulnerability in his voice, knowing he was thinking about what others would think of him. And he wouldn’t let him second guess himself, even if it would benefit his own situation. “I’m sure other couples got engaged after meeting, Harold. You’re not the first or last.”

“Really?” he sighed. “Because I told my mum, and Gemma, and they weren’t all too happy about it, but they eventually came around. Even if the first time they meet Stephen will be in Scotland.”

“You didn’t take him up to Cheshire to meet your mum?” Louis asked. He found that hard to believe when Harry was such a mama’s boy.

Harry shook his head. “Mum was too busy and Stephen had to get back home. Gemma went to the Bahamas for a girls trip so she wasn’t around either.”

“So no one from your family has met him yet?”

“Nope,” Harry sighed. “I wish we had more time, but it just made sense to rush things, you know?”

_Not when you’ve had a dream wedding in mind for years,_ Louis wanted to say but bit his tongue.

Eventually they found some more suits, Harry disappearing into the back to try them on and decide one by one which would stay. Eventually they settled between a dark wine colored suit and a black one with white embroidery. Harry walked out of the dressing room again wearing the latter.

“So what do you think?” he asked as he stepped in front of the mirror.

“It’s very…” Louis trailed off as he tried to find the right words. Of course Harry still looked as breathtaking as ever, but he knew it wasn’t him. He had not been showing off his four nipples or something if he was going to be wearing a boring black suit. Similar to the outfit he wore at Louis’ mum’s wedding. Now that showed a lot of cleavage. “Classic.”

“Which is code word for boring,” Harry huffed.

“So you don’t like it?” Louis asked earnestly.

“I mean,” Harry sighed. “It’s nice. Really. Just not the suit I saw myself getting married in.”

“What did you imagine yourself in, Haz?” In all their talks, Louis was now realizing they never actually talked about Harry’s future wedding. It was pretty much left unsaid that Louis did not like the concept of marriage while Harry did, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t talk about it at all right?

“I think…” he trailed off, clearly in thought. “I think I saw myself in something artistic. Like I said before, maybe a Monet painting. If I had more time I could’ve had one custom made. But,” he sighed, “it is short notice, so what else can we do?”

And if that wasn’t a sign that Harry was second guessing the wedding, he didn’t know what else would be. Maybe there was some hope for him after all, even though it pained him to see Harry go through this anyway.

“But you want to get married right? Is Stephen worth all this?”

“Yeah,” Harry said as he met his eyes in the mirror. “I think he is.” And for once, Louis couldn’t read what those green eyes were telling him.

*

A few days later, Louis was sitting at a table with Niall, Zayn, and Liam. Harry had asked them all to come for lunch at some restaurant so they could discuss some wedding planning before the two of them went shopping, but the future groom was running late. Which meant Louis didn’t have any problem showing how miserable he felt about the entire situation.

“So how’s it going with Harry?” Zayn asked. “Is he really going through with the wedding?”

Even though this was going too fast for Louis’ taste, it did seem like Harry wanted to marry Stephen. After getting the suit, they had spent the rest of the day cake tasting, and Harry couldn’t stop gushing over which flavors Stephen would love. It didn’t help that the owner of the bakery thought they were also a couple, and then he had to watch Harry deny it once again.

“He seems to really love the man I guess,” he mumbled in reply. “Going through all this trouble for a shotgun wedding.”

“And he’s not even pregnant,” Niall muttered.

“But at the same time,” he continued, “I know Harry and I know he’s not enjoying all the haste that’s going into the wedding. He’s not getting the suit he wanted, the bakery didn’t have his favorite flavor…” he sighed, “I wonder if that’s enough to make him call it off. He doesn’t even get his perfect wedding.”

“If you tell him that he might postpone the wedding and give you both more time to realize you deserve each other,” Liam said.

“And more time to actually tell him how you feel,” Niall said. “You at least have to discuss that before he gets married.”

That’s if Louis works up the courage to even tell him. He owed it to his dagger at least.

“How is Harry even getting married when we’ve been engaged longer?” Liam asked his fiancé.

“Because our wedding is going to be absolutely perfect,” Zayn said as he sipped his tea.

“Allergies!” Louis shouted, probably a little too loud since some people turned to stare at him. He quickly ignored them as his wheels in his mind started turning.

“Allergies?” Zayn asked.

“Stephen could be allergic to cats!” Louis whispered loud enough for his table to hear. As much as he enjoyed modeling, he didn’t like attention on himself when it wasn’t wanted.

“And?”

“And,” Louis continued. “Harry treats his cats like his own children right? There’s no way he would ever marry someone who couldn’t be around them. If Stephen is allergic, that means it could never work out because that would mean Harry would have to get rid of them. They break off their engagement, Harry is heartbroken for two seconds and then I swoop in and mend his broken heart!”

The three of them blinked back at him.

“Wouldn’t Harry have figured out if Stephen was allergic to his cats while he was staying there?”

“Because we all know Stephen was staying at Harry’s flat while he was here,” Liam said, “and probably met Artemisia and Leo.”

Fuck. That was probably true. He wished Harry had been proper enough to let Stephen stay at a hotel or something while he was staying here. But no. He got to stay in his flat so they could have their sexy time. Maybe he should’ve called Anne and said what they were up to, as childish as the thought was.

“Besides,” Niall said. “He could get allergy shots.”

“Maybe,” Louis grumbled, slumping back in his seat again. He’d think of something eventually. For now moping about it was the only solution.

“Harry!” Liam called out, waving at someone behind Louis. He turned around to see his best friend walking towards their table, hair up in a bun and his beautiful glasses perched on his nose.

“Hi, boys!” he said as he sat down. “I’m so glad all of you are here. I desperately need help with my vows.”

“You can’t write your vows?” Niall asked.

“I thought I could,” he sighed. “But nothing is coming out of me. Does that already make me a bad husband?”

“Tell us about him then, Haz,” Zayn said.

“Um,” he paused in thought. “He’s kind. So kind. And gentle? Yeah. He laughs at my jokes.”

“You’re going to need more than that for vows,” Liam chuckled. “You’re marrying the lad. You can’t just talk in simple terms about your future husband, much less hallmark card worthy vows.”

“Oh really?” Harry asked. “I assume you’ve already written your vows to Zayn and they would make Shakespeare cry?”

Liam blushed. “Well I’m no writer,” he scoffed, “but yes. I do have them done already.”

“You do?” Zayn asked softly, looking over at him.

“I may have done them around the time I proposed,” Liam mumbled, glancing up to meet his eyes.

Then Louis watched as Zayn reached over and placed his hand over Liam’s, eyes locked. They didn’t say anything, but everything was said in their look. And that’s what he imagined he could have with Harry, and what he thought Harry was missing with Stephen.

“Anyways,” Niall coughed. “We’re here for Harry’s wedding, remember? His vows are what we focus on right now.”

“Yeah,” Zayn smiled as he finally looked away. “Let’s help Harry with his.”

The group stayed silent as they thought, the restaurant ambience playing around them. Louis had to think of something that would help Harry, yet not actually get him any closer to Stephen. Or maybe help him realize on his own that Stephen wasn’t right for him. And that’s when it hit him. “Tintoretto!” he said out loud, making Niall and Harry jump from his loudness.

“What?” Liam asked.

“Domenico Tintoretto?” Harry asked with a frown. “What about him?”

“Remember when you dated that man from Parliament a few years ago?” Louis said to the younger man. “He asked you to move in with him and what did you say?”

“I wasn’t ready,” Harry said.

“You weren’t ready?” Niall laughed. “Harry, you practically come with your own veil to the first date.”

“We were only dating for two weeks!” Harry grumbled.

“Ignore them!” Louis said. “Tintoretto’s The Penitent Magdalene? Remember? You said that painting gave you more feelings than Mr. Parliament ever did. Now, does Stephen make you feel that passion you found in the painting?”

At first, it looked like Harry would never answer. He was simply sitting there, frozen in his seat as he seemed to take it what Louis had said. “You remember that?” he said softly.

How could he forget? They were in Rome for a fashion show and Harry was trying to break up with Mr. Parliament. Louis took him to some museums around Rome to get his mind off things, and they ended up in the gallery where Tintoretto’s painting was on display. He tried to get Harry to keep moving, but he wouldn’t budge from his spot in front of the painting. And that’s when Harry explained to him how moving it was to look at, and how much more emotion it gave him than his relationship with Mr. Parliament. That’s when Louis pigeonholed the idea of using that story as a litmus test for whoever Harry would marry in the future. And Louis didn’t want to get cocky, but he felt he would score higher than Stephen for sure.

“Of course I do, Haz,” he said. “Now answer the question: does he make you feel like that painting did?”

“I-” Harry’s phone vibrated suddenly, excusing himself as he went to take the call.

“Saved by the bell,” Louis muttered, beginning to mope again. He looked around the table to see all eyes on him. “What?” he asked.

“I don’t know what the hell you pulled,” Niall said slowly. “But I think that was brilliant.”

“Did you plan on making him second guess his feelings for Stephen already?” Zayn asked.

“Yes,” Louis said matter of factly. “But I guess it’s not working. He couldn’t even give me a straight answer.”

“Because I think you caught him by surprise for even remembering that he said that in the first place.”

“Like I said,” Niall continued. “Fucking brilliant.”

Before Louis could reply, Harry came rushing back to the table.

“Sorry, lads,” he said. “But that was the caterer and she said she wanted me to come down to approve the food. So if we could go now, Lou?”

“Right then,” Louis nodded. “Bye, lads. I’ve got some shopping to do with Harold.”

“Have fun being the perfect best man, Lou!” Liam called out as they left, Louis throwing back the middle finger as they walked to the exit.

*

And so shopping they went. They stopped by the caterer to check on the food that would be served, taking samples as they did at the bake shop. Thankfully the caterer already had seen the pictures of Harry and Stephen together, so she didn’t assume Louis was his groom. He wouldn’t mind hearing it again, though. Even if it was just for his benefit.

They also went to some department stores, Harry delighted with buying things for their home together. His and His towels. Extra towels, closet organizers, fresh organic candles. Everything that Harry deemed necessary for their new life together. And of course, that only left Louis wondering if Harry thought about what _their_ shared home would be decorated and such. If only they knew sooner.

“Oh!” Harry squealed as they walked past the lingerie department, looking very Moulin Rogue-esque with their red velvet displays around the open area. “Can you help me pick the lingerie I want to wear on the wedding night?”

Louis’ heart rate started to quicken. He couldn’t be serious. “You need lingerie for the wedding night? Don’t you have your… own?”

He knew Harry did, but ever gave it much thought since he wasn’t the one that had to see him in it. But being in love with Harry changed everything. He was going to see him in lingerie. Now.

“Please, Lou,” he begged as he grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the dressing room. “You have a great fashion sense and given how many people you’ve been with you know exactly what’ll make me look good and fuckable.”

Louis had to keep every muscle down to keep from moaning. “Okay,” he scratched out and Harry gave him a wide smile. He picked out a few pieces that were near a display and disappeared behind the red curtain. It was a nice dressing room, large and private with a plush cushion seating in the middle. Louis assumed it was for the husbands of the women who came in here to help their wives buy some lingerie.

“You know Harry? I have to thank you,” he started, knowing he could hear him. He could see the sheet moving here and there as Harry’s lanky arms were undressing himself. Louis knew how clumsy he could get sometimes.

“For what?” Harry answered.

“For opening my eyes to marriage.”

Louis heard the sheet stop rustling. “Have you met someone?”

_Yes. My best friend. _“No,” he lied. “I just… think that would be a good idea for me in the future.”

“Why?”

He didn’t feel like lying anymore. “I don’t know,” he said simply. “Just come out when you’re ready, Haz.”

He pulled out his phone, hoping a game would calm his bouncing knee. As he did word puzzles, he couldn’t stop the dread of seeing Harry walk out behind the curtain at any second, trying to look as fuckable as possible.

“Lou? Ready to see?”

_Ready to die more like,_ he wanted to say. But really, he did want to see. More than ever.

“Go ahead, Haz,” he called out.

Harry pulled back the red curtain, and Louis’ mouth went dry. He was wearing fishnet stockings, black ones. And a corset. A fucking corset. It was white and sat just below his nipples, the perky tips peeking out ever so slightly. As he turned around, he noticed the heart shaped hole near the top of his bum, trying not to groan at the thought of grinding against him. His tiny waist was accentuated by the fit, and all Louis wanted to do was grab him by his adorable love handles and have his way with him behind the curtain. He already felt himself getting hard in his joggers, and really really wished he was in an alternate universe where Harry was his and he was shopping for lingerie he would be wearing that night for him. He wanted to know if he would still have that coy smile if he ate him out through those panties.

“Lou? You haven’t said anything. Is it bad? It’s bad isn’t it-” Harry scrambled out.

“No!” Louis almost shouted. “You look fine, Haz. Absolutely fine.”

“Fine?” he squeaked, already pouting. “I don’t want to look fine. I want to look amazing for my husband!”

Husband. Right. Well…

“I think your future husband would love them, Haz,” he said simply. And he wasn’t really lying, because if it was marrying Harry, he’d love to take him apart in that outfit.

“Great!” Harry giggled as he went back to change behind the curtain. Thankfully that seemed to be the end of his try-ons, so Louis didn’t have to suffer any longer. Once Harry emerged and went to go pay for his clothes, Louis started to lead them out of the store.

“Okay,” Louis said as he noticed the sun was setting already, “let’s get some dinner, yeah? My treat.”

“Alrighty then,” Harry grinned, clutching his bags as they walked to Louis’ car. They drove to Notting Hill, specifically to the Beach Blanket Babylon. Louis had long been a fan of its interior design, and he knew Harry would enjoy whatever artful term there was to describe it.

“I’ve never been here,” Harry murmured as they walked inside. “Wait. I’ve seen this in your Instagram stories before. The restaurant with the Rococo stylings. That massive lion carving. Isn’t this the place where you take your dates sometimes?”

It was. Sometimes Louis wanted to wine and dine his one-night stands, and vice versa. So he often chose this place to do it. It had a nice aesthetic to it, after all.

“Yeah it is,” Louis smiled as they waited to be seated.

“So you consider me a date?” Harry teased, nudging him with his elbow.

“Yeah,” Louis chuckled back. If only Harry knew the full extent of it. “I guess just for tonight you are.”

“But it won’t end up with you in my pants,” Harry giggled, dimples popping out.

_That would be the perfect ending_, Louis wanted to say. And he really wished it did happen, because the rest of their night was absolutely perfect. They talked and ate just as they always did, catching up on everything that Harry missed while he was away. Thankfully Stephen was mentioned to a minimum, making their date seem as close to a real once as could be.

And once he dropped Harry off at his flat, it only made Louis realize just how much he wanted to date Harry, and how many missed opportunities they had in the past to actually make that happen.

*

Since Harry didn’t care for strippers if he wasn’t one of them, Louis decided to throw his bachelor party in a club. They rented out the space and made sure to invite his colleagues and friends, most of the club full of them as it went long into the night. All the colors of the strobe lights illuminated the darkness of the area, the deep bass of whatever was playing on the large speakers reverberating in every body.

And Harry seemed to be enjoying himself, already drunk and happy as he went from one lap of a man to another, wearing a sash that said “bride to be” that Niall definitely gave him.

And Louis? Well he was in no mood to dance all night. Usually he was all for grinding with some random bloke he found on the dancefloor, but even that seemed pointless if it wasn’t with Harry. And he definitely didn’t feel like doing that with him when he wasn’t even single, because he wasn’t sure if he could stop himself from it going any further if they started something. He wasn’t about to be the side hoe of anyone.

Instead he sat in a booth, drinking from his cup as he watched Harry lavish in the attention throughout the night. It was easy to hide in the darkness of the club, so he liked observing from a semiprivate hideout. As long as Harry was happy, Louis was fine. This was his night anyways.

After a few more drinks and somehow still very sober, what he didn’t expect was to hear a familiar voice above him.

“Hello there,” he heard, looking up to see his best friend.

“Harry?” he gasped. His hair was a mess, some of the curly strands sticking to his face from the sweat, sash still sitting well across his chest.

“You know my name? That’s funny,” he giggled. “Because you’re so beautiful and I never thought you’d know someone like me.”

So he was blasted enough that he forgot who Louis was. Brilliant. “You’re beautiful too if you haven’t noticed,” he sighed. It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. During Liam’s birthday party a few summers ago, Harry was so drunk he mistook Louis for a young David Bowie and proceeded to ask him if he was really in love with Mick Jagger.

“Why thank you!” Harry laughed, trying to take a sip from whatever large pink drink he held in his hand. “Who knew you’d be so sweet too? Can I sit with you then?”

“Of course, love,” Louis said as he scooted over. “How has your night been so far? Just as you wanted?”

“Yes!” he exclaimed, falling over a bit even though he was sitting. He took a long sip from the curly straw before continuing, “The DJ has been playing all the songs I want. I saw Nick, Liam and Zayn, I think Louise? And Lambert of course. Everyone came! But I haven’t seen one person all night,” he said with an adorable pout.

“Stephen?” Louis offered. He’d probably forgotten his fiancé wasn’t in the country.

“No not him,” Harry said with a laugh. “I meant Louis!”

“I see,” Louis chuckled, taking a sip of his own drink as he looked around the room. “I’m sure you’ll find him.”

And with that, he suddenly felt Harry’s head on his shoulder. “Hopefully,” the younger man sighed. “I have to tell him something so bad.”

Louis felt his heartrate speed up. “What? What do you have to tell him?”

“I’m-” he sniffed, “I’m moving to New York.”

“What?” He didn’t hear that right.

“After the wedding,” he said, “I’m moving to New York to be with Stephen.”

Louis felt his throat tighten. Moving? That meant he would be leaving London. No more Sundays of their own. No more musical nights no more bake shop dates no more… Harry. He was really losing his best friend.

“Why haven’t you told him yet?” he whispered. “He’s your best friend.”

“I don’t know,” Harry whined. “Maybe because he’ll try to be all happy for me even though I know he won’t want me to leave. It’s just going to hurt to leave him.”

Hurt doesn’t even describe the pain Louis felt right now. “But even besides Louis,” he swallowed, “all your friends and family live here? Won’t you miss them as well?”

“Of course!” Harry nearly shouted. “But Stephen works for Wall Street and there’s no way he can move here. At least the MET offered me a job while I was over there. I can just accept that instead. Besides, it’s for the best for both of us.”

“What do you mean?” Louis asked with a frown.

“It’s nothing,” he said with a sigh. “Well, something. It’s stupid really.”

“What is it?” Louis said, hoping his begging wasn’t coming through.

“Don’t tell Louis,” Harry whispered. “But I was falling for him hard. Like, Juliet fell for Romeo.”

Louis could feel his heart shattering. “When?”

“Before I left for New York,” Harry said as he rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. “I started looking at him different. Thought I might even love him. But I knew deep down it could never happen.”

“What makes you say that?” Louis said, swallowing back the emotion in his throat.

“I think we could make good partners- you know half of Cheshire actually thinks he’s my boyfriend? – anyways I think we’d make good partners in life, but we don’t want the same things. It’s not like he’d settle down, even for me.”

“You think that?” Louis whispered.

“Yeah,” Harry sniffed, eyes still trying to remain open. “But I’d never ask him to change his life for me. He’s happy how he is, and I’d rather not lose my best friend because I got some stupid feelings.”

Louis would do anything to scream out how those feelings could never be stupid. “So that’s why you think it’s best to move away?”

“I mean,” Harry slurred. “Yeah? That way I can focus on Stephen completely and not let my feelings for Louis get in the way. I deserve to have the life I want without interrupting his. So it’s for the best, right?”

“If you see it that way,” Louis said softly, realizing tears had formed in eyes during their talk. All the emotions from the past few weeks were suddenly getting to him, and it came down to one awful conclusion: he was never going to have Harry. He missed the signs, and effectively his chance, and they were never going to explore what could’ve happened. And worse, it sounded like Harry still had feelings for him yet didn’t want to act on them because of Stephen.

Maybe it was a good thing he was moving to New York then. Well, that’s what his brain said. Because his heart was currently sobbing a waterfall in his chest, and he didn’t know how long he’d last until he’d burst from the pressure. How did everything manage to turn to shit so fast?

*

Harry went ahead to Scotland to prepare for the wedding, while the rest of them caught a flight there a few days before it. After the bachelor party, Louis just tried to avoid Harry as much as he could, because he was ready to break down and confess everything before it was too late. He didn’t even know what he’d say to him, so they just texted before Harry left and promised to see each other in Scotland. Louis couldn’t remember the last time he packed a suitcase and dreaded every minute of the impending trip.

“So,” Niall said on the plane, “how is Harry with Stephen?”

“Still in love with him,” Louis mumbled, trying to punch his airline pillow into an acceptable position. “And possibly with me.”

“What?” Zayn said from across the aisle, clearly having no remorse in eavesdropping.

“He told me – while drunk I may add so he didn’t even know he was telling me this - he had feelings for me before he left to New York, but for some reason didn’t act on it. And he said it’s better for the both of us once he moves away because of that.”

“You should tell him you know then,” Liam said. “Get it all out before he actually gets married.”

“And have him reject me while sober? No thank you. My heart doesn’t need that pain.”

“But he doesn’t know that you know about his feelings! Or that you actually care for him too! So for both of your sakes, just talk already.”

Technically, they were right. It was just… too much to think about for the moment. Louis was in love with him, Harry could possibly still have feelings for him, yet Harry was getting married in a few days. Maybe talking to Harry about it wouldn’t be so bad. They were best friends, first and foremost. So… maybe he’d understand. They just had to talk. Before Harry was set to say any “I Do” to anyone.

*

They arrived at the castle a few hours later, a car picking them up from the airport and driving them there, the gravel driveway crinkling against the tires. It was massive and looked ancient, like it belonged in Macbeth or something. A large lake served as the picturesque backdrop against the edifice. It just looked like the perfect place to get married, and Louis’ stomach churned at the thought.

A few servants of the castle were there to greet them, saying Harry and Stephen were busy with wedding preparations and would join them all for dinner later. They were shown to their rooms, and Louis couldn’t help but like his room. It had a king bed in the middle, four posters, everything he liked in a room. But he was still on his shit about not liking any moment of this wedding. He just couldn’t.

He just had to get Harry alone.

He couldn’t get past a quick hug though once he finally saw Harry, who was looking so fit in some tan slacks and a navy blue knit jumper, because he was too busy greeting family members who flew in for the wedding as well. Luckily he did manage to say hi to Anne, both standing by the fireplace.

“Louis!” Anne said warmly. “What a pleasure to see you,” she said as she hugged him.

“Hi, love,” he smiled, loving the comfort her perfume brought. Harry sometimes smelled of it, and it did have a certain scent of home, even if it wasn’t Doncaster. “How have you been? Where’s Gems and Robin?”

“Mu husband actually got a terrible cold and couldn’t make it,” Anne said with a sigh, “and somehow Gemma offered to stay home and nurse him. Not that I doubt her nursing skills, but I think she was just trying to get out of coming here.”

“Why would she-”

The taping of a glass interrupted their discussion. “Lunch is served!” Stephen said. “If everyone could take their seats in the dining hall, that would be great.” Louis would just have to continue their conversation later.

And during lunch, one of Stephen’s cousins wouldn’t stop pestering him. Well, he was flirting, but it was a nuisance. He was seated next to him, and either ignored or just couldn’t take the clear polite signals Louis was sending. And the worst part was, had he not realized his love for Harry, Louis probably would be trying to get in this man’s pants as well. But he didn’t want him. He didn’t want anyone except for Harry.

He watched from afar as Harry and Stephen sat in the middle of the table as waiters brought in their deserts.

“Oh,” Harry said as leaned towards him. “What did you get?”

“Just some cherry pie,” Stephen said.

“Oh that looks good!” Harry grinned as he reached over to take a piece with his fork. His fiancé’s hand was there to stop him though, capturing his wrist before it got near his own plate.

“Don’t take off my plate,” Stephen chuckled. “You have your own, honey. Or do you want the servants to bring you a slice of what I have?”

“But I can’t have a bite of yours?” Harry asked.

“Not when we have different plates!” Stephen laughed. “Stay on your plate and I’ll stay on mine.” Louis didn’t know what was stopping him from simply walking along the top of the table until he was in front of Stephen so he could kick him in the jaw.

Harry sat back in his seat, looking as if he was pondering what had just happened. Louis almost wanted to go rescue him from the situation, but Harry flashed a smile again and just ate his slice of fudge cake.

“You noticed that too?” Zayn whispered, nudging him on his left.

“Yeah,” Louis sighed. “Fucking shit.”

One thing’s for sure, Harry shouldn’t be marrying a man who won’t share his dessert with him. But what does Louis know; maybe he’s just looking for more excuses as to why Harry didn’t belong with Stephen in the first place. And that’s when he decided he’d try to sneak away with Harry after lunch so they could talk.

*

“Harry?” he knocked on the door. “Can we go for a walk?”

Already dressed for an outing in the chill air, Louis found his way to the room Harry was staying in. He prayed to all the gods he knew that his best friend wouldn’t be busy and accept the request. And by the rustling behind the door, it seemed like he would.

“Louis!” he smiled as he opened it. “I’d love to go on a walk and catch up. Do you think we could go over my wedding vows while we walk? I still don’t think I’ve made it perfect yet and I’d love your input.”

“Course, love,” Louis smiled. “We’ll do whatever you want, as long as I get to talk to you.”

“How was your flight here?” Harry asked as they walked through the large halls.

“A little turbulence but nothing I haven’t handled before,” Louis chuckled. “How’s Robin? I talked to Anne earlier and she told me he was sick.”

“Yeah,” Harry sighed. “And my dad couldn’t make it because he had a work trip he couldn’t get out of. Plus, I think Gemma is just using Robin as an excuse to not be here.”

Louis suddenly remembered what Anne had said. “And why’s that?”

“Let’s just say she wasn’t too happy about me marrying a man I just met,” Harry laughed nervously. “I thought she’d come around to it but… I guess not.”

Gemma had always been very protective of her baby brother, so it really didn’t come as a surprise she was against this. Well then. Maybe she wouldn’t mind if Louis was subtly trying to break them up anyways.

Eventually they made it down to the lake, the sun casting a beautiful orange glow over the water. The wind created a gentle breeze around the area, making it seem to serene to just be standing there. There was a strip of land that made it out into the water, so Louis walked behind the younger man as they went on it.

“Okay,” Harry began as he walked along the shore. “So for my vows-”

“I’m crazy about you,” Louis rushed out. “I’m so fucking crazy for you and it’s been driving me insane! All I want to do is spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Really?” Harry said as he paused from walking.

“Really.” Louis replied.

“That’s so generic, though,” Harry giggled, turning around to face him.

“Generic.” Louis repeated. There was nothing generic about his feelings.

“For my vows?” Harry said. “Yeah I think it feels a little too cookie cutter for my taste. Like it’s what you’re supposed to say instead of what you actually feel. I just want something from the heart, you know?”

Vows. Harry thought he was just giving him lines for his vows. Louis sighed, taking Harry’s hands. He’ll get it from the heart alright.

“Okay,” he breathed out. “How about this: no one makes me laugh like you do. I think about you all the time, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re my best friend,” he stared into those round green eyes, “and I just want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

Once he finished, Louis still held onto his hands, looking into Harry’s eyes for a response. But all he got was Harry staring back at him, lips parted, eyes round with wonder as he if he realized what Louis had been saying all along. Because neither made an effort to let go, simply standing there as they held hands like a couple at the altar.

“I-” Harry began.

“Hey lads!” a voice that sounded like Niall came from behind. Louis turned to find their friends approaching with some other men, party hats and horns ready to go.

“Are we interrupting something?” Zayn said as he eyed them.

“No,” Louis said as he pulled away. “Not at all.”

“What’s this about?” Harry said, voice a little hoarse.

“Your stag night!” Liam said. “Or would it be hen party?” he pondered to Zayn.

“What?” Harry said. “I already had one back in London.”

“Well since you’re getting married in Scotland, Haz,” Zayn said. “there’s an old tradition – don’t even know if it’s real but google says so - of having the bride ‘sell’ her kisses the night before the wedding. So, the wedding party decided we’re going to do that with you tonight so we can all go enjoy the nightlife. Sound good?”

“I guess,” Harry giggled, looking around the group of partygoers. “And Stephen’s not coming?”

Niall shook his head. “He said he’d rather stay in.”

“Let’s get a move on then!” someone called out from the back of the small crowd, and Louis couldn’t even tell who that was. But he already wasn’t liking the fact he’d have to watch Harry kiss a bunch of men tonight.

“Why doesn’t Stephen do this tradition instead?” Louis grumbled to Niall as they walked to town, watching as Liam and Zayn led Harry in the front. “He’s the one with a Scottish grandmother and all.”

“Don’t know,” Niall shrugged. “Sorry if we interrupted something earlier, but all of the lads from the wedding were itching to get out.”

Well they did interrupt something important, but it was no use. He just had to realize he was never going to get a moment to tell Harry what he really feels, even if his fake vows had more truth to them than Harry thought. “Nah,” he shrugged. “You’re fine.”

Niall gave him a small smile. “Just enjoy yourself tonight, Lou. Let loose.”

All he could manage was an eye roll.

They ended up at a local gay bar, with Harry going around the room as men dropped coins into the pot and gave him a peck on the lips. At some point someone placed a tiara on his head, so he looked even prettier as he made his way along the men. Seeing him kiss man after man was enough to get all the possessive traits Louis didn’t even knew he had out there. So he drank away his troubles as Harry rounded the room.

“Penny for my kiss?” he heard suddenly, and Louis turned to find him standing there with his pot. Oh. He didn’t think he’d be asked for a kiss as well. And actually, it would be their first kiss ever. He just didn’t imagine it in a pub a few nights before Harry’s wedding.

“Of course,” he sighed, digging into his jeans for a few coins. He had to play along of course, even if it was just a peck. He dropped them in the pot, looking up to see Harry’s smile fading as he chewed on his lower lip.

“Go ahead then,” Harry said with a shy smile.

Heart beating so loud he could’ve sworn Harry could hear it, Louis leaned in and pressed his lips to his, hoping it would have been a chaste kiss.

But it wasn’t. His soul wouldn’t let him. Because he only meant to peck him once, just quick and without letting his feelings bleed onto those plush lips. Once their lips met though, Louis couldn’t help but bring both of his hands up to cradle the other man’s face. And then one kiss became two, and three, and four, and who knows how many more because he could feel Harry’s _tongue_ lapping against his own and this was going much farther than any ordinary kiss.

Harry must’ve been feeling the effects as well, because years or seconds could’ve passed by, but suddenly Louis heard the pot drop to the floor, coins spilling in every direction.

Breathless, they broke apart and both rushed to the floor, almost bumping heads as they kneeled to collect the coins. Louis thought Harry would say something, but as they threw the remaining coins in the pot, he looked up to find furrowed brows against his best friend’s forehead.

Shit. He was probably regretting that already. Maybe Louis could blame his drinks or the fact he got too carried away with a simple game. Either way, it left his body aching for more. And if he didn’t know better, Harry was feeling the same based on the flush on his cheeks.

“Harry!” someone called out, and suddenly he was pulled away again with Louis left standing there. He was so fucked.

*

Eventually they all walked back to the castle, Louis kicking rocks on the way there as he stayed near the back of the group. Not that he didn’t want to be around Harry, but he knew he should give him some space until they had time to talk. Given that he was getting married the day after tomorrow, though, he knew it had to be soon. He couldn’t let him get married after sharing a kiss like that, right?

And once he got back to his room, he decided he had to talk with him right then. He may have had a few beers, but no alcohol could get him drunk enough to forget what happened.

“I need to talk with him,” he whispered to himself after pacing around his room. He was about to walk out of his room when a knock came at his door.

His heart leapt at the thought of Harry coming to see him and rushed to answer. But instead of the curly haired angel standing in his doorway, it was that man from the lunch.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you,” the man slurred in that American accent. He couldn’t even remember his name, but he must’ve been a part of the stag party, and a testament to how uninterested Louis was in him to not notice. His tie was loose around neck, a few buttons undone as well.

“What?” Louis said, taking a few steps back as he got closer.

“Come on, cutie,” the man said. “I’ve seen you in magazines and you’re hot as hell.”

“As flattering as that is,” Louis scoffed, “I’m going to have to ask you to-” He didn’t get to finish that sentence because the man decided to kiss him right there. And yeah his body might have welcomed the new man after Louis’ self imposed chastity for the past month, but it just didn’t feel right. Plus his breath smelled of vodka and he just didn’t like that.

“Look, sir,” he said as he pulled away. “I’m asking you to-” He took a quick glance at the open door, feeling the blood drain from his face. Harry was standing there in a robe, a certain sadness in his eyes before he turned around wordlessly and walked.

“Get the fuck off me!” Louis yelled as he pushed the man away, running after his best friend. “Harry wait!”

He knew exactly how it looked, and he already felt the dread boil in his stomach. Harry must’ve assumed the worst, and well, given his reputation, if it were any other night he would’ve been correct. But things were different now. Louis was so fucking in love with Harry. How could he want anyone else?

He ran down the hallways until he reached the right door. “Harry?” he banged against the wood. “Harry please.” No response. He sighed, giving one more bang with his fist. “I know you’re in there, Harry. We need to talk.”

“About what?” Harry answered. “Go back to your man, Louis.”

“No no,” he answered. “We need to talk now.”

When he got no answer again, he pressed his ear against the wood, trying to hear something. “Harry?” he called out.

“You’ll never change,” he heard him sniff. “Just another man for your bed.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means…” Harry trailed off. “I don’t know. Doesn’t matter.”

Louis wasn’t about to let him off that easy. “Why did you come to my room?”

“To…” he sniffed, “talk about that _kiss_.”

“And what did you want to say?” He asked, heart pounding in his chest.

“I don’t know!” he yelled. “Does it matter? It’s not like you care about my feelings, Louis.”

“How the hell can you say that?” Louis said with a bang against the door. “And it’s not like you care for mine!”

“What the hell does _that_ mean?”

Well. Now was probably the best time to say it. “When were you going to tell me you were moving to New York permanently after the wedding?”

No voice came from the other side. “How did you know about that?” he heard a small voice say eventually.

Louis scoffed. “The wanker I call my best friend. You got plastered on your stag night and confessed it to me. You probably don’t even remember any of it.” Or that he confessed his feelings for him as well. The confidence alcohol can bring, really.

“I wanted to tell you,” Harry whispered. “I just didn’t know how.”

“How? You could’ve at least had the decency to tell me when you found out, not through a drunken confession. Do you know how much it hurts knowing I won’t be able to see my best friend anymore?” His brain knew he had to accept it, but his heart just didn’t yet. He didn’t want to live in a world where he couldn’t see Harry whenever he liked.

“You think I’m not hurting too? I’m used to having you in my life all the time and now you’ll be an ocean away. Do you really think that’s not going to hurt me as well? I care about you so much, Lou. You’re my best friend.”

“That you kissed,” he swallowed.

“For _fun_,” Harry retorted.

“You know damn well it wasn’t for fun.”

No response again. Only sniffling.

“Harry…” he trailed off. “We need to talk about it.”

“Why? So you can tell me how it meant nothing and I’ll just be another one of your conquests?” he sobbed. It broke his heart that he couldn’t at least hold him while he cried.

“Did that really feel like nothing to you?” Louis whispered.

“How would I know?”

“What?”

“How do I know that’s not how you kiss everyone? There’s a reason men keep trying to get back into your bed, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s simply because of how you kiss.”

Is that him saying he did enjoy the kiss? “If that’s your way of telling me I’m a good kisser, I’d prefer it without the judgmental tone, thanks.”

“You know I’ve never judged you for your life, Lou,” Harry sniffed. “But… you just don’t understand. You wouldn’t.”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you don’t take relationships seriously, Louis!” he heard through the door. “I’ve never judged you for all your one night stands, but that just means you don’t understand what a lasting connection means to others. It means your kisses feel like heaven and I don’t know why we never did that before. It means I don’t know what the hell you’re doing, but you’ve got a lot of balls to kiss me like that before my wedding.”

“You think… none of that was genuine? That I’m just seducing you for fun?” He didn’t care about most people’s opinion of him. He damn well cared what Harry thought.

“I. Don’t. Know,” Harry retorted. “I know you’d never hurt me, but I also know you don’t actually care for this wedding or Stephen that much. But if all this made you realize that you want to have some kind of rendezvous with me before I’m married… I don’t want that. I need someone who is going to be there for me, Louis. Someone who wants me for life.”

If Louis’ heart wasn’t shattered before, it was now. He couldn’t even think up of a proper response Louis looked down where the dagger was covered. “Then I really hope Stephen is that man for you. Enjoy New York.”

He walked away before he heard Harry say anything else, not even sure his heart could take any more of what he had to say. Tears welled up in his eyes as he walked into his room, glad Stephen’s cousin was gone at least.

As he looked around the chamber, he decided then and there that he had to leave. He thought he could put aside his yearning for Harry to at least support him in this, but it was too much. Especially when Harry knew he was attracted to him, but didn’t know his heart was included in that. There was no way he could watch Harry walk down the aisle and marry a man who wasn’t him. No way.

Just as he stuffed all his shirts into one suitcase, a knock came at the door. Harry? Had he come to actually talk it out? Maybe they could leave together and forget this nightmare ever happened.

He rushed over to open the heavy door. “Oh,” his voice flattened. “Just you.”

“Thanks for the welcome,” Zayn said as Louis walked away. “May I come in?”

“I’m not stopping you,” he said with a wave of his hand, returning to his packing. He was about to ask why Zayn was even here, but he knew the other man awkward silences and would tell him soon enough.

“So,” he coughed. “Liam happened to be in the hallway coming back from a run while you and Harry were fighting at his door. He heard everything.”

Louis sighed. “So you know why I can’t possibly stay here any longer,” he said as he stuffed another shirt in his suitcase. Why the fuck did he even pack so much for a few days?

“I get that,” his friend answered. “And I know you’re hurting. But Harry is still your best friend, and you agreed to be there for him on his wedding day.”

Louis tried to not picture it. He still remembered which boring suit Harry was prepared to wear, and Louis was supposed to stand right next to him as he said his vows to Stephen. Maybe there was a way he could switch places with that American before the “I do” part started. But there was one thing for sure: his heart wouldn’t survive long enough to watch any of it.

“I can’t-, his voice broke. “I can’t watch him marry someone else. My heart is literally breaking just thinking about it. I’ll always be there for him, but for once I have to protect myself from getting more hurt than I already am. It just hurts so much knowing he can’t be mine, Zayn. I didn’t think heartbreak could physically hurt so much.”

“I know,” Zayn said gently, walking over to touch his shoulder. “But you can’t just leave like this.”

“Then what do you expect me to do?” he sniffled in response.

“Write him a letter.”

He had to be joking. “What is this the 16th century?” Louis scoffed as he wiped his nose. “I’m not writing a bloody letter.”

“It’s romantic,” Zayn said with an eyeroll, “and he can’t delete a letter like he would a text in case that was your initial plan. Besides, we’re in a castle. Live with the aesthetic, Louis,” he said before walking out of the room. “I’ll leave you to it. Pour your heart out and do what’s best.”

What’s best would’ve been Harry confessing his feelings to him before he ever met Stephen. Maybe it might’ve taken Louis a little while to see it, but he sure as hell would’ve gotten on board the hypothetical love train Harry was offering.

He didn’t want to write a letter, but he figured it was better than leaving without a word. He couldn’t possibly face him again after that. Not without some time to think. He walked over to the desk and pulled out a sheet of paper as he sat down, scribbling in the corner to test out the ink before pouring his heart out.

_Dear Harry,_

_I love you. I think it’s just easier to say it now, knowing that you can’t say it back._

_My soul must have fallen for you before my heart did, because it’s aching knowing it can never be with you like it wants. Ten years ago, I didn’t think I would find the most amazing person when I got in your bed, but you proved to be everything I ever needed. From your Rapunzel hair to your baby deer legs to your laugh that can rival a duck’s to your grandma glasses to your eyes that make me feel so loved, you’re my perfect being._

_When you left for New York, you know what I did? I think I lasted a week before I went completely crazy. I tried to spend our dates with other men, but none were like you. They tried, they were trying to be fun, but nothing felt like you or your presence. I couldn’t even pull anyone the last few weeks before you came back because my mind was just so focused on you you you, and how to tell you I loved you so much._

_And then you showed up with Stephen, and well… here we are._

_When I was helping you with your vows, everything I said about you was true. Even something I would have liked to say at our own wedding, but that will never happen now._

_So I guess I’m writing this to let you know why I can’t be there for you. I hope you still keep in touch when you’re in New York. I’ll be happy to visit you when I’m in the city, if you’ll have me. I hope you have a good life with your new husband and get the happily ever after you deserve. Because between the both of us, we both know you deserve it the most._

_Forever yours,_

_Louis_

He blinked as he read it over, a tear dropping on the parchment. “Fits the mood I guess,” he muttered to himself. He took his cologne from the nearby dresser and sprayed a puff over it, for the sake of olden times. Maybe this would be the one thing Harry took to New York to remember him by. Might as well make it memorable.

He quickly folded up the letter and put it in an envelope, getting up to deliver it before he chickened out at the thought. He weaved down the stairs until he was standing in front of Harry’s room again for the second time that night.

“Harry?” he called out. He got no answer, but he knew he was in there. “I’m sorry, but I can’t be there for your wedding. If you read this, it’ll explain why.” And without another word, he slipped it under the door and walked away.

Louis told himself he shouldn’t cry over something stupid like this, but realizing he’d never see his soulmate again deserved a few tears. He soaked his pillows through before sleep finally overtook him, stuffed nose and all. It was better to let it all out before he left in the morning.

*

“Are you ready, Louis?” Alessandro asked.

“Yeah,” he said as he spritzed himself with cologne one final time. “Thanks for scheduling me in on such short notice.”

The man shrugged. “You know there’s always a spot open for you no matter what. And I had a model drop out, so your call came at the perfect time. Have fun out there!”

_Fun,_ Louis repeated in his mind. He didn’t know when would be the next time he’d had that. Ever since he landed back in London, he’s felt like a walking corpse that isn’t quiet dead yet. He went through the motions of his day, but everything felt off. His tea didn’t taste right, his clothes felt scratchy, his eyes felt heavy, everything bothered him.

But he figured life would be like this for the first few weeks at least. At least the rest of the boys would be there for him when he’ll need them, even if he was telling them he wanted to be alone for now. They were texting him non stop once he got back home, but he sent a few short replies telling them he was fine and needed space. Especially when Harry was already married by now, probably jetting off to the Bahamas with his new husband.

Louis just wanted to curl up and sleep for a few centuries instead. But walking in a Gucci show would have to do for now.

Before walking on stage, he took a few photos with other models that they could post on their Instagrams. He’d probably message his manager to post some pictures of the show tomorrow morning that the paps had taken. He couldn’t feel bothered to take his own tonight.

Once the show began, Louis felt the tiniest happiness at seeing it fit his mood perfectly. Large candles illuminated the walkway while the rest of the venue was kept dark. Haunting music played overhead as the models walked out, flashing lights illuminating their faces here and there. And as he finally walked down the runway near the end, it felt nice to get lost in the rhythm of the walk, swaying to the beat of the music as he did.

Maybe getting lost in his work was the only way to get over Harry.

There was an afterparty all the models were invited to after the show, a few of them even coming up to him to let him know. At first he didn’t feel like going, but once he noticed a few of the male models ogling him, well.. he was only human.

Maybe fucking his troubles out would help his misery.

It’s not like he had to stay faithful to Harry anymore. He had every right to go sleep with whoever he wanted, even if his heart didn’t really want to.

Maybe it was better to have one more night of sorrow, just for the heck of it. He’d get back to his life on the prowl tomorrow. Just not now. Now he still wanted to mourn whatever mark Harry still had on his life.

Instead, he drove himself home, listening to whatever sad songs he could find in his playlist. Eventually No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak” popped up, and he cranked that up as he drove along.

_“You and me_   
_We used to be together_   
_Everyday together_   
_Always…”_

Gwen’s voice had a way of soothing his soul, thankfully.

_“I really feel_   
_That I'm losing my best friend_   
_I can't believe_   
_This could be the end”_

Louis already felt the tears forming in his eyes, but he knew he had to let it out.

_“Don’t speak!”_ he cried along. _“I know just what you're saying. So please stop explaining. Don't tell me 'cause it hurts!”_

By the time the song ended, he was already at his flat with a clogged-up nose, but at least he felt better. Maybe just playing every breakup song he could find for the next 48 hours would be beneficial to him. He was already scrolling through Spotify as he made his playlist for the night when he suddenly stopped in the middle of his living room.

He heard a sound in the kitchen, cautious not to take another step and make himself known. He wasn’t really in the mood to get robbed, thanks. But then he remembered this building didn’t really have lax security, so the doorman wouldn’t have just let anybody in. And if someone was in his flat, the alarms would’ve gone off. He decided to get closer, heart racing as he recognized the figure.

“Harry?” he whispered.

And sure enough, there was Harry. Standing in the middle of his kitchen with a cup of tea in his hand, looking like a deer in headlights. Well, serves him right for spooking him like that.

“What are you doing here?” Louis asked as he stepped closer, trying to determine if this was a dream or not.

“You’re wrong,” was the first thing he heard from his mouth.

“What?” But before he got an answer, he felt Harry’s lips press against his own, melting into the softness of them. Harry must’ve put the cup down somewhere, because he felt both arms wrap around his neck as he deepened the kiss.

“You’re wrong!” he said more fiercely as he pulled back.

_He was married. He’s married. He’s married. _That’s all that was chanting in Louis’ head at the moment.

“You deserve a happily ever after,” Harry said against his lips. “More than anyone.”

So he did read the letter. And this was all out of pity. Louis smiled sadly, feeling his heart break even more. “That was you, love. And as much as I’m enjoying this,” he sighed as he took Harry’s hands off him and put them back by his side, “I don’t enjoy kissing married men.”

“Married?” Harry frowned, that adorable frown of a disgruntled kitten. “I’m not married. I didn’t marry Stephen.”

The blood rushed to his heart, desperate to keep his hopes down. But Louis couldn’t help himself. He took quickly turned over the other man’s left hand, eyes widening as he saw the lack of rings on his ring finger.

“Why not?” he asked, not being able to prevent the accusatory tone in his voice.

“Did you really think I could get married after reading that letter?” Harry asked with a sheepish smile.

“But didn’t you love Stephen?” Louis pressed. “Isn’t that why you were getting married?”

Harry sighed. “I thought I did? But… if I was being honest… we didn’t have enough in common to warrant that. I think I just wanted a husband. Tired of dating. I never thought I’d find someone who would care for me as much as I thought I needed.”

“Harry,” Louis whispered, feeling his heart sink in the process. “I told you never to settle.”

“Let me finish,” he smiled softly. “Before I left for New York, I thought about us. About how we would be as a couple. A few years ago, my dad even told me he thought I would end up marrying you one day. When we went to your dad’s wedding, it just felt… different. Even though I’ve been your date plenty of times before, I guess it just gave me a taste of what we would be like as an actual couple.

And I knew you didn’t like to date, let alone stay committed. I thought I’d just be giving my heart to someone who didn’t want me. And I could never ruin our friendship like that. I wanted to tell you before I left, but I couldn’t ruin what we had. I was scared of losing you altogether.”

“So you went and decided to marry a stranger instead?”

Harry shrugged. “I didn’t say I was thinking straight. I just thought that was the best option I had, especially when I was feeling too much for you.”

Louis sighed. “You could’ve told me you know. I wouldn’t have let that ruin anything, especially when I would eventually feel the same for you.”

“Well neither of us knew that. But I’m focused on the present and future now,” Harry said with a shy smile, “and what I’m trying to say is… you deserve a happily ever after, Lou. With me.”

“Please tell me this isn’t a dream,” Louis whispered. With every word Harry had said, his heart managed to piece itself back together one by one, and now it needed to hear the final words to hold it all together. “Because I must be dreaming if you’re actually standing here telling me you love me back.”

Harry stepped closer, taking Louis’ hands and bringing them up to his face. Louis could feel the warmth of his face through his palms, and his green eyes had never looked so bright.

“I love you, Lou,” Harry whispered, eyes shining. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me.”

And that’s when Louis lost all sense of self control, because all he could do was let out a sob before bringing Harry’s face back to his own, kissing him tenderly like it would be the last time.

“I love you, Harry,” he cried back, “I never thought I’d get to tell you that to your beautiful face.” His heart was no longer in pieces. He felt whole again, just standing like this with Harry. His Harry.

“Well I’m here and I’ll never get tired of it,” he whispered against his lips before they continued to kiss.

It must’ve been hours before they let go, or maybe days, who knows. Time got lost when he kissed Harry, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. They were standing there in the middle of his kitchen, lips on lips without a care of what was happening outside of their little bubble.

Suddenly Louis’ body started to remind him that they were in desperate need of a good shag, and having Harry’s warm body all over him did nothing to ease that yearning. And it seemed like Harry was on board as well, given how he was panting already and rocking his hips against his own. Oh, and he was hard. So hard.

“We don’t have to,” Louis moaned as he felt Harry bite his lip. “Do this now. I’ll wait for whenever.” He had his hand after all. Maybe it wasn’t Harry, but he’d wait even if his body really didn’t want to.

Harry shook his head, eyes hooded as his lips still brushing against his own. “I’ve waited so long,” he whispered. “I don’t want to wait anymore.”

“Thank Jesus you said that,” he whispered against his mouth as the relief washed over him and a new wave of excitement. “Because I haven’t slept with any bloke since you got back from New York. Actually, much longer than that.” He couldn’t even think of the last man he slept with. Didn’t matter really, since he wanted his best friend to be the last forever.

Harry blinked back at him, face clearly painted in disbelief. “Are you pulling my leg?”

Louis shook his head, hoping he looked earnest. “I wish you were pulling something else because I’m not.”

Harry couldn’t help giggling at the remark, cheeks blushing for the first time that evening. Louis couldn’t help pecking his nose. “_The_ Louis Tomlinson?” Harry giggled as he pretended to wipe his nose. “Didn’t want to have random one night stands because of little old me? I feel like I should have a plaque made with my name or something.”

“You’re just that special,” Louis laughed as he booped his nose. “Now come on, you owe me for all that lost time,” he said as he guided him to the bedroom.

Not even bothering to take any clothing off or even turn the lights on, Harry simply straddled his lap on the edge of the bed as they continued to make out like teenagers finally getting the house to themselves. And well, it did feel like that. Darting eyes, shy smiles hesitant touches that turn more confident with every kiss. It was discovering a part of someone that wasn’t shown that often, and Louis was more than eager to find out what Harry was like with this intimacy.

“What do you want to do?” he whispered against his lips after a while, feeling the way Harry grinded his bum against his crotch and trying not to moan with every touch.

“Can I blow you?” Harry asked in a sugary tone, licking his lips as his eyes flickered downward.

Louis really wanted to know where he got the self-control to not simply come with hearing those words. He’d probably last two seconds with the way he was going, but it was worth the try. “Sure, baby,” he swallowed, “anything you want.”

Harry tongued him one more time before pulling back, eyes dancing as he started to kneel in front of him. Louis made a move to unbuckle his pants himself but was quickly swatted away. Harry batted his eyelashes instead with a shrug. He reached up to take his glasses off after putting his hair in a bun, but now it was Louis’ turn to deny.

“Don’t,” he murmured, gently grabbing him by the wrists.

Harry arched an eyebrow in response. “I don’t want to dirty them.”

Well, Louis might as well expose all his kinks now. “It’s… fine if you do. I’d like that.”

“You want me to keep them on?”

“I…” he worried his bottom lip as he looked up to whatever interesting thing he could find on his ceiling, “may or may not have jacked off to some porn that involved men wearing glasses while you were away.”

He could’ve sworn Harry’s pupils dilated even more. “You thought of me? When you… did… that?

“Haz,” Louis said earnestly. “Ever since I realized my feelings for you, you’re the only person who has occupied my mind. I couldn’t - and didn’t want to really - be with anyone else. So… without ruining our friendship so soon and you an ocean away…” he smiled sheepishly, “Pornhub searches for men with long hair and glasses were the only relief I got.”

Harry started giggling even more, and Louis couldn’t believe he could be endeared and horny at the same time. That’s what happens with soulmates, he figured.

“Well I might as well make that a reality,” Harry grinned. And before Louis could say anything, he watched in awe as Harry unzipped him in a flash. He could feel the coolness of the air against his wet head, but the burning heat from his palm made his body come alive in ways he didn’t think possible.

And as he felt Harry take him in his mouth, he got so lost in the pleasure that everything just became a blur. He could feel the way his tongue worked over him, spit making everything even more obscene. Eventually he felt the familiar pull in his groin, babbling out nonsense when he couldn’t keep his grunts down any longer. “I’m gonna come,” he moaned loudly.

Harry deepthroated him once more, the warmth of his mouth feeling heavenly in every way, but suddenly he felt himself being pulled out of his warm mouth, a hand just slicking him through. “Finish on my face,” he said hoarsely, and knowing that he was the cause of that pushed him off the edge before he even realized what he was doing.

White stripes of come coated the other man’s face, landing on nose, lips, and more importantly: his glasses. He was a vision in every way, and Louis already felt his limp cock switch in interest as he took a mental picture.

“As good as your porn?” Harry asked, throat still rough, licking away the cum on his face he could reach with his tongue. And once he started to lick the come off his fingers, Louis already felt himself getting hard again. It definitely felt like they were teenagers again.

“Better. A million times better,” he said as he pulled him up. Harry straddled his lap again. Louis leaned over and tasted himself on his face. “Everything is better with you,” he whispered.

“I love you, Lou,” Harry swallowed.

“I love you more, Haz,” Louis whispered. Then he remembered something, hoping he wasn’t too late before he was branded as a selfish lover. “Wait. Do you need any help?” He snaked a hand between them and definitely felt Harry’s cock still hard in his jeans.

“I haven’t yet but,” Harry answered with a bit of a moan to his voice, “was kind of hoping you could help me? But I want us both stripped down and under the covers. Take our time and all that.”

“Yeah?” Louis smiled as he leaned over to kiss him.

“Yeah,” Harry smiled lazily. “And I can see you’re definitely up for it,” he said as he wiggled his bum.

“My body is just picking up from that Halloween night,” Louis chuckled, “making up for all that lost time I wasn’t shagging you.”

“And now you get to do that forever,” Harry chuckled.

Forever. Louis still couldn’t believe it. “While we’re on the subject of forever,” Louis said as he started to take off his shirt. “I think there’s something I’d like to show you.”

“What is-” Harry audibly gasped, his own shirt in his hand as his eyes stared at Louis’ arm. “You… you got a tattoo?”

“And not just any tattoo,” Louis said. “The perfect complement to your rose.”

Harry visibly swallowed as he reached out to touch the dagger. “When- When did you get it?”

“While you were in New York and I was having a breakdown over realizing my love for you,” Louis chuckled, “and probably not the best idea I had, but I wanted to do something to have you near in a way. I remember going with you to get your rose so it was only logical to get the dagger.”

“And it suits you beautifully,” Harry whispered as he continued to feel it. “Does that mean you’d be open to more?”

“Yeah,” Louis said without hesitation. “I’d be down for more tattoos with you in the future.”

Harry looked like he was about to cry. “I told Stephen about getting matching tattoos, but he said he was firmly against them and would never get them in the future.”

“Just another reason I’m superior to that idiot,” Louis said, kissing him again.

“In every way,” Harry said. “Can I tell you another thing? Since we’re revealing stuff before we… you know.”

Louis nodded, wondering what could be so important to say beforehand.

“I was a virgin when I met you.”

Well, that’s not shocking by any means “So I was right!” Louis giggled as he poked his chest. “Little virgin that was jealous I was shagging everyone.”

“Oh shut it,” Harry scoffed, pretending to slap his hand away. “That’s not even the important part!”

“Then what is it?” Louis chuckled. He really wanted to know where this was going.

“I lost it to my first boyfriend actually.”

“So Tommy was your first?” Louis asked. He remembered when they started dating and Harry looked like a puppy in love. He couldn’t remember how long they dated, though, only that he introduced them since Tommy was on his footie team.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded. “But… well this is embarrassing.”

Louis frowned. “Just tell me, love,” he said softly as he rubbed his arms.

Harry let out a deep breath. “I couldn’t actually… get hard the first time we did it. So I panicked and thought of the sluttiest man I knew: you. Turns out that did get me hard, and it was a few months before I had to stop thinking of you to have sex.”

The older man really couldn’t believe his ears. “Are you shitting me?” He knew Harry well enough to know when he was lying, and he was definitely not lying.

“Can you blame me?” the younger man smiled sheepishly. “You were fit, and I was horny. And it wasn’t like we were ever going to actually shag so I didn’t have any reason to feel bad. You were helping me out even if you didn’t know it.”

“You’ve always been a little minx, haven’t you?” Louis giggled.

“For you,” Harry said with a smirk.

“Well,” Louis smirked as he trailed fingers down his chest, “how about you get the hands on experience now?”

Harry gasped, biting his lip as he smiled back at him. “Are you suggesting I actually shag my boyfriend, Louis Tomlinson?”

“Fiancé,” Louis said as he kissed him again. “Future husband,” kiss, “Sex god of London,” another kiss, “Whatever you’d like to call me, really.”

“Fiancé?” Harry couldn’t stop giggling, so Louis decided to kiss his dimples as well. “You haven’t proposed to me yet, Mr. Tomlinson.”

Louis thought for a moment. He obviously had to give him a good proposal, and even better than Stephen had given him. He’d get the lads to help him for sure. “Give me a week and I’ll get on that,” he answered firmly with a few more kisses.

“Alright,” Harry said breathlessly, “Until then, how about,” he paused for the dramatic effect, “Louis: man I want to spend the rest of my life with?”

“Works for me, love,” Louis said. “Now enough talk. I need to test out your shagging abilities before I marry you.” Somehow, they were both still hard despite all the talking, and he’d rather take up the rest of their night discovering what Harry liked in bed.

“I thought my cock sucking skills were enough?” Harry gasped in faux offense, stripping himself down to his birthday suit.

“More than enough,” Louis laughed as pulled back the covers so they could get in. “But I’d love to introduce myself to that beautiful bum of yours before the night ends.”

“Be my guest,” Harry giggled, which brought a smile to Louis' face. He never laughed or talked much during sex, and here he was having laughing fits and holding deep conversations with his cock out. Being with your soulmate really did make it different.

And that’s how their night ended up: with laughs, moans, tears, smiles. He couldn’t have imagined a more perfect night as the start of their relationship. He just couldn’t wait for the rest of their lives.

**~1 month later~**

To no one’s surprise, they got married a few days ago in London. It was a quiet ceremony, attended by their close friends and relatives. And of course, later uploaded to social media. Tweets were a mix of “congratulations to the happy couple!” and “louis isn’t single anymore my life is over *crying emoji*”. But all Louis could think about is how beautiful Harry looked on their special day.

He wore a suit inspired by Monet (that Louis had special ordered for him from Gucci), hair up in a bun, green eyes shining as they stood at the altar. They both were shedding tears as they recited their vows, and probably full on crying by the time they put their rings on each other. But hell, it’s not every day you marry your best friend.

Now they were enjoying their honeymoon in Florence; Louis basically tagging along on Harry’s business trip. Thankfully, Harry didn’t have much to do, especially since Dr. Pinnock urged him to spend his holiday with his new husband instead.

So they went sightseeing, tucked in warm jumpers as the cooler weather arrived, admiring the fall splendor of Central Italy. To stay on topic though, Harry insisted they go to the art museums so he could at least pretend he was working.

Eventually they reached the Galleria dell'Accademia, cruising around the artwork until they found the statue of David.

“Can you imagine how good of an artist you must be to make marble look soft?” Harry said breathlessly, gazing up at the sculpture. “He’s such a beauty.”

“Yeah,” Louis whispered, a smile on his face as he looked over at his husband. “He is a beauty.”

Harry turned to find his gaze on him, playfully shoving him as he giggled. “Not me,” he said. “David! Just look at him!”

With an eyeroll, Louis looked up at the naked man. “At least I’m more hung than him.”

“Is that all you care about?” Harry chuckled. Louis tried to hold back a laugh as he saw him mouth the words “Thank God” afterwards though.

“Nah,” Louis said as he put his arm around Harry’s waist. He actually did enjoy looking at art, not as much as Harry, but enough to never get bored by it. But he was on his honeymoon, dammit, and there was really only one thing on his mind when it came to his husband. “I admire the way Michelangelo managed to carve those glorious cheeks of his.”

“I’m guessing you’re _not_ talking about the ones on his face,” Harry deadpanned.

“You know I’m an arse man, babe. I appreciate a good bum when I see it,” Louis chuckled as he placed a light kiss on his husband’s cheek; face that is. “But,” he whispered as he tilted his head back, lips brushing against Harry’s ear, “he’s got nothing on yours, baby.”

As Louis leaned back he expected to see Harry’s cheeks flushed and rosy pink, and sure enough they were. “Really?”

The man was just asking to be teased. Louis would be a terrible husband if he didn’t comply. And to make sure his point was taken, Louis’ hand trailed down his husband’s backside until he cupped what he was looking for.

“Of course these cheeks are better,” Louis whispered, squeezing one hard. “Because they’re mine.”

He could’ve sworn he heard Harry whimper, and like the tease he is, he gave one more firm squeeze before letting go completely. If there was one thing he learned while being Harry’s partner for the last month, is that his man loves to be teased and caressed, especially in public. He lost track of how many times they had to rush home after date nights because they desperately needed a bed. And who was Louis to deny him that?

“Would you like to go back to our hotel, baby?” Louis grinned.

“Please,” Harry begged.

He didn’t know if there was running allowed in the galleria, but he didn’t care. It was their honeymoon, and he had a husband to do.

*

“Ready for round five?”

“I’m pretty sure we’re on round seven of the night, Lou,” he giggled breathlessly. “You got two out of me when you rimmed me in the bath.”

“That was a lovely bath,” Louis chuckled, rubbing himself against his husband’s bare bum. “All your cheek talk at the museum just got me wild. Couldn’t help myself.”

“You definitely showed them your appreciation,” Harry sighed, grinding back against him.

And that definitely got his cock standing to full attention. “Well, Dr. Styles, I think it’s time for round eight.”

“That’s Dr. Tomlinson-Styles to you,” he grinned, laughing when Louis groaned as he got on top of him. Louis insisted he didn’t have to take his name, but Harry thought otherwise. After all, he had said, he wanted the entire world to know he was a married man when he couldn’t show off his wedding band.

“Actually,” Louis said, remembering what he planned to do. “I’d like you to do something first, Dr. Styles-_Tomlinson_.”

After doing his best ninja roll off the bed, he walked over to their dessert tray and picked up the slice of pumpkin pie from under the domed silver plate. They had already gotten through the strawberries and cream that were brought earlier, but this was something he had specially ordered for one reason.

Harry frowned, sitting up in the bed. “Are you hungry?”

“For you? Yes,” Louis said as he rounded the other side of the bed, walking on his knees until he sat against the headboard. “For pie? No. But you will be.”

Before Harry could say anything more, Louis slathered the pie over his crotch with his fingers, attempting to keep its original shape on himself.

“Already into food play, huh?” Harry whispered, licking his lips as his eyes didn’t move from the new dessert.

“As the youngins say these days: I’m a full on snack. So, start eating, baby,” he said with a grin, leaning back against the pillows to appreciate the view.

And as ordered, Harry did a _very_ good job of eating what Louis gave him, bonus salty cream and all, swallowing every drop until they were done. Maybe it was being married, or because it was his best friend, but Harry truly was the best sex he’s ever had. Louis really hit the jackpot.

A few hours later, they decided to go out onto the balcony wearing their robes and watch the sunrise together, Harry leaning back on Louis’ chest as he laid between his legs on the reclining chair.

“And to think,” Louis whispered, pulling his husband closer against his chest. “None of this would’ve started if I hadn’t ended up in your bed ten years ago.” They did manage to celebrate their ten year friend anniversary by actually finishing what their teenage selves should have started, which included various rounds of sex in their king sized bed. Louis even gifted Harry some celebratory lingerie beforehand, and they put it to very good use that night.

He felt Harry smile against his arm, sighing as he leaned his head back. “I guess so. But it took us ten years to realize we were meant for one another.”

“Worth the time, baby,” he said as he kissed his head. “And hey, we’ll have one hell of a story to tell the kids someday.”

“Kids?” Harry asked.

“Of course!” Louis began. “See here, little Michelangelo – or whatever artsy name you decide for my child – Daddy met Papa when he snuck into his bed one night by mistake, and they were best friends for years until they decided to get married. Then they lived happily ever after with their children and ten cats.”

“You’ll let me adopt more cats?” Harry grinned as he looked up at him.

“That’s what you care about?” Louis laughed. “I know your – well our cats now – are like your children, Haz, but I would like some human children as well in the future.”

He doesn’t remember seeing Harry smiling so hard as he was now, radiant as if he was actually pregnant. “I’d love that, Lou. I’d love that so much.”

He felt Harry take his hand, watching him play with his wedding band. _“Oh__ you make me live,”_ he hummed. Louis recognized the tune. _“Whatever this world can give to me.”_

_“I want you to know that my feelings are true,” _Louis sang along, knowing that wasn’t the next line but wanted to sing that anyways. _“I really love you.” _Who would’ve known _their_ song was actually a sign they’d end up like this.

“I love you so much,” Harry whispered as he squeezed his hand. “I can’t believe I fell for my best friend, out of all people. You were my Prince Charming all along.” It might've been an inside joke they've had for years, but he could see the seriousness in his look as he said it. There was nothing funny about it.

“And I wouldn't have it any other way,” Louis said softly.

As Harry leaned back again and Louis continued to press kisses into the back of his head, they enjoyed the peaceful quiet of the sunrise. Maybe it took them ten years, but it was ten amazing years of being best friends. Hell, he wouldn’t have cared if it had taken them twenty years to get together. After all, how many people get to say they’re married to their best friend and soulmate? All that mattered was that they got their happily ever after. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> If you've been waiting for the second part, I hope you enjoyed it! Comments and kudos are always appreciated :) Fic post can be found [here](https://softfonds.tumblr.com/post/187686394008/love-isnt-always-on-time).


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